Looking after Mum

I found with people with dementia respond much better when you just agree with most of what they say, responding negatively seems to exacerbate their behaviour. I'm sure you probably know that anyway, I'm sure your sister will be so grateful and knowing that will get you through..

I am also sure you sister will appreciate the break. I do hope it goes well - if you can't bring yourself to agree the words 'oh, right' work quite well Things said in a positive tone seem to encourage a positive response - hard work but worth it for the time you are there.

Dreading seems perfectly reasonable to me. All carers can feel like that at times and remember to come on here and vent if you need to.

I'm sure your sister will really appreciate your help so she can go off on a holiday without worrying about your mum. You might find it goes better than you think. Try not to take things to heart or brood over past hurts. Good luck!

olene I found it very hard when my mother had dementia. The worst part was that she had insight into her condition and was very distressed by it. But after she died I was glad that I had been able help her. I hope your mother is glad to see you and enjoys having you there.
As far as dealing with the dementia is concerned, it's better to go along with what they say even if it's nonsense.
Good luck

Look at it more as helping your sister and that will get you through. Your Mum is ill now and needs care, you would not be comfortable letting others do it.
Hope it all goes as well as it can.

I also lived in the Middle East for a few years. When I came home to visit my Mother would accuse me of deserting her. Years earlier when the children were small we would drive from the north of Scotland for 13 hours to find she had no food in the house to feed them. This sort of thing went on for many years until she died. If she came to our house to stay she would look for things to complain about. I think she hated me. You are not alone, we had a thread about mother/daughter relationships a while ago. I hope I never become the same.

I understand where you're coming from. I always wanted the type of relationship that other people seem to have with their mams but was never to be. We're just too different.