Missing a dear friend ......

Rinouchka that made me cry. Good for you keeping up with your friends children. I am sure the baby blankets will be very special.

Lost my 'baby' (61)brother in March after 6 cruel months
Sometimes it just 'gets' you .Much harder than losing a parent .
I feel so sad for my sister in law who is putting on a brave face but I know is in bits underneath and dreading Christmas

It takes time to grow an old friend, no wonder they're so missed.

And losing that last sibling, and all the shared memories that only you and they had.

Lupatria I think that quite often, 'can't wait to tell J that', or ask her opinion on something.

I remember my mother saying that there was no-one left who called her by her Christian name except for one sister who lived a distance away; all the rest had gone and she was 'Mum', 'Nana' or 'Aunty'.

My aunt died 1989 and I wasn't particulary close to her. But every year she took the trouble to plant 3 or 4 hyacinth bulbs in a bowl to give me during December for my Xmas present. I just got used to having it every year. After she died I realised how much I missed it and her. I buy myself a bowl of hyacinths every year in December now and say a quiet 'Thankyou Auntie Madge' to myself.

My mum died a lot of years ago I still miss her especially at this time of year my sister
Spent her last Christmas with us we knew it was her last so I was happy she came
Everything seems worse at Christmas so I do think of the good times and try to create
Them for my family gillybob it's early days yet for you ? To all

My best friend died this year. I miss her every day. NYE is going to be hard as we always spent it together. Her husband is still hosting it but I am dreading it. I can see why he wants to though & it will be even harder for him.
So many times have I thought I must ring her to tell her something funny. Never had a sibling & she felt like a much loved older sister.
It's very hard.

Some years ago my daughter gave me a new address book so that I could leave a list of friends to contact on my death. Good idea I think. I try to plant something in garden as a memento of lost friends.

Reading many of these posts reminds me of a verse by Elizabeth Jennings:
Time does not heal
It leaves a half stitched scar
That can be broken and you feel
Grief as total as it's first hour.

My Mum and I always produced Christmas lunch together, she died 25 years ago and I still find myself looking around for her on Christmas Day. It is a time I think of all the people I have been close to, there is sadness and an emptiness but also joy at the memories of fun, laughter and love. A very mixed time. Morgana, I have planted for friends and family, many of the plants in our new garden are known by their names. It helps me a lot.

My dear friend of many years died in September last year after a prolonged battle with cancer. It was particularly painful for all her many friends (she was a single lady) as she decided not to have the brain surgery which would have saved her life, as she wanted to go down the alternative medicine route. I wish we could have talked some sense into her but she wouldn't listen. She took out equity release on her house to pay for all the expensive and useless alternative treatments administered by a lot of quacks, one of whom had been jailed and another was under investigation for fraud. If she had had the operation as soon as her brain tumour was discovered, she would probably have recovered. During the time she was ill,(over a year), I broke my wrist and had two operations, including a knee replacement, so I wasn't able to help out as much as I would have liked to. I had such mixed feelings - I felt helpless and very cross with her at the same time because she wouldn't listen to reason. I miss her very much - she was a very bright lady and we were always on the phone to each other. There is definitely a big gap in my life.

DH's cousin and his wife died a couple of years ago. Although we met up less than once a year and mainly just exchanged Christmas cards (hers were her own paintings) I have been surprised how much I miss them. We had a lot in common and I often wish I could phone them about something that has caught my eye.

Well just to update, the lemon curd is now made using eggs from our own hens and it's good. Pastry tarts in the freezer. I have decided that every Christmas Eve from now on, it's a lemon curd tart, glass of sherry, and a toast to a dear friend before dinner. I shall think of her at other times obviously, but I just felt the "need" to do something special, and this feels right.

I have found all these posts sad but uplifting. Thank you all for sharing.

I have kept the last cards from some long gone loved ones including my darling Nana - I takethem out every year at this time and remember them fondly. Time is a great healer.

I lost my best friend in August, and find I am at quite a loss as to how to do christmas this year. There is nobody else in whom I can confide; she knows the back story to it all and just understands. Oh how I miss her.