sharing chores

We had a cleaner when we both worked full time, then Mr C began part time. With the diminished income Mr C took over from the cleaner and for a few years the only cleaning I did was a bit of dusting. . Now we are both at home the weekly (couldn't cope with daily ) clean is shared according to skills and to be absolutely honest my preferences. The cooking is usually my job although Mr C is a dab hand at veg preparation, he is the DIY expert while I offer helpful (!) suggestions. We have a good enough split that suits us both. Can't ask for better really.

I have seriously tried to cut down on the house work but cant rest until its done, it really doesnt take that long as we have down sized to a 2 bed.My best friend and her cleaning cupboard dont meet that often but i love spending time in her home, her dirt doesnt bother me but my just wont have it in my place.

I too am an ex army wife. I take great pride in the fact that my standard of cleanliness has dropped considerably since my last match out. My husband does his fare share of the housework because he is less tolerant of mess. He never cooks though, but then I never fix the car or do any household repairs.so all in all it probably works out fairly.

Not in this house. Hubby does all washing and ironing. I do all the cooking. Great when we cruise as he complains he does the same but no cooking for me?It all started years ago when he retired and I actually went out to work again. We reversed roles. He did cook my evening meal but hated cooking. It would get to five and he would think what can I cook! I never want salmon and quinoa ever again.
My friends say they want to hire him. He is the dearest man .

Now that's me, but instead of fuming have you actually spoken to your husband about this. Do you have to be a martyr? Just sit down and rest and do nothing. Let him cook clean. The house won't suffer from a lack of housekeeping.

This post struck a chord with me. I still work full time, DH has been retired for a number of years. We have a cleaner who does 2 hours a week, but with 2 dogs, a large house and a very messy husband that's barely enough TBH. Our cleaner broke her ankle (ouch!) a couple of weeks ago so isn't able to work for some time. Last weekend I spent what seemed like hours cleaning, hoovering, mopping and tidying whilst DH calmly read the paper whilst I hoovered around him. 'I was going to do that' and 'Leave it, I'll do it' are phrases bandied about but if I do leave it, it doesn't get done at all. Today (Sunday) will, no doubt, be the same. I have retirement looming on the not too distant horizon, and quite frankly, I think I may struggle being at home all day!! Logic tells me to increase the hours our cleaner works, but underneath it all is simmering resentment, which isn't healthy.

My OH ran off and married someone much younger than me. They have 4 kids now,so I hope he is having to do the housework...........he didn't do any when he lived with me and wasn't much of a dad to our kids.

I hear he cycles competitively now, so I hope he has the decency to run his lycra under the tap once in a while.

i got a good window cleaner .this started us getting cleaner generally! what i do now is about a week before he comes i mention it casually to DH hes coming soon ,this triggers him into cleaning.
i was actually going to have a word with my windie -see if he could put in a word for me! to add more get-up-n-go

we have a cleaner once a week. We have to budget for her but she is worth every penny. My husband often loads the washing machine , unprompted, and cooks but he never sees any dirt or mess. Left to himself he would live in squalor and life is too short to spend cleaning up after him.

I can't believe your husband sits and watches you hobbling around. What a lazy horrible person. Just leave the housework. You ankle will never heal unless you rest it. If his lordship complains tell him where the vacuum etc is. Take care of that ankle...

Mine is fantastic! I'm very lucky.
He's a great cook and ironer. He's cleaning the bathroom at the moment. On his birthday too.

We share most of it - I tidy and dust, he does the hoovering. We have two bathrooms so I clean mine and he does the other. Ialways clean the kitchen - hygience is too important to be left to a mere male. Back before we got married my Auntie said to me "You will be asked to do many things which maybe you have not done before like ironing trousers. Do it, do it willingly and with a smile, but make sure you do it very badly! You will not be asked again"
She was absolutely right and I have now clocked up 51 years of not ironing trousers!.

My husband does most of the cooking but we eat out (special offer lunches), he also likes to shop, which he does well, for food so he can buy and cook what he wants. He will empty the dishwasher sometimes and tidy the kitchen. We have a cleaner 3 hours a week and she can clean through in that time but I make sure everything is tidy and put away before she comes so she can clean quickly. I wash and iron. We both have busy social life and different interests so it works well.

My observation is that men tend to do the housework they like and leave the rest to us. Can't see him cleaning a toilet, but then I don't like cleaning fish.

We each do what we want in the way of housework, but its only done when the weather is bad or we have invited friends around for a bit of a social knowing that we will then both get to it and give the house a good clean. But saying that, he does his own ironing, sorts and puts the washing on and cleans the bathroom because he knows I hate doing it. My job, to cook simple wonderful meals, make the yogurt and the odd cake. He washes up. Small hous no need for a cleaner and life is to short to worry about housework.

We married in l969, and both worked full time, husband on shift work. We shared the housework and cooking from the start and if he got in first he got dinner ready for when I came home. I was often told i was 'lucky', by friends whose husbands did little but I responded saying we both lived in the flat, its our mess, we both should do the housework. We were probably a bit before our time. However he didnt come fully trained and it did take a while before he really got into it. My friends took the view they could do it better and quicker and that it wasnt worth the trouble to argue so left their husbands to relax while they got on with the work, which is what they are still doing. Have to admit it but when he does the cleaning he makes a better job of it than I do.
Would certainly not expect to limp around with a sprained ankle doing housework, and my husband sat back. You need to rest that ankle. Weight bearing, it can take a while to mend. I speak from experience.

My beloved husband of 54 years together has just had to "take over" as I've just had a THR and he did comment: I had no idea just how much you do!
Made the pain worthwhile!

....because he is still working + he checks the oil in the car etc

in this modern age of emancipated women there's absolutely no reason why women should be treated as 'dog's bodies' and only put up with it because they allow it to happen. I heard a story of a man who in 35 years of marriage never so much as made a cup of tea. I think it might be considered as slavery.

DH always helped around the house even when I was a stay at home mum, when he retired he asked me what housework to do. I may have been a little bit naughty and implied I did more then I actually did

We both do it. Before I worked, it was my job. When my husband retired, he took over the lot, but since I've cut down on my hours, he does certain jobs in the days I work and we share the rest. His mum did all the housework and when she visited, would redo anything that wasn't how she liked it, so I was amazed and delighted that Hub was happy to share. I worked with a lady who did fill days, but would rush off after work because her husband (retired) would be wanting a cup of tea and something to eat.

Grannypiper, are you for real?? Surely this is a joke??

I used to have a cleaner and a gardener but I was also studying and working full time and shift work. Now I've been retired for three years and hubby still works full time. I do all the gardening and cleaning and washing and ironing. Nevertheless it all still annoys me. I have better things to do with my time. I broke my arm this year....two months of plaster cast and then it was weak. I had to get a guy in to put the garden to bed for winter....phew....one chore out of the way. Nevertheless I still managed to do the ironing, cleaning and cooking. Hubby had to lift heavy pots and a few other things. Hubby can iron.....he was in the Royal Navy. He is a passionate cook but has a ten hour working day. When he retires he can have that chore back. It's a sharing world.

We have always had a division of labour based on skills and personal preference. I am a very tidy person and like to keep the house looking nice to my specification so I run the house. I am also mechanically incompetent, and do not get DH even started on the relationship between me and electronic devices, in fact I am death to anything that requires any fine motor skill or mechanical or electronic understanding.

This field is DH's forte. Over the years he has mended/made everything from toys, to furniture to jewellery. He has improved and extended every house we have ever owned and we would not have the house we have were it not for his skill and ingenuity. The only contribution I make is decorating, very messily, given my lack of motor control.

In return I grit my teeth and live with his untidyness and he grits his teeth and copes with my cackhandedness with all things mechanical and electronic and my belief that the best way to fix a machine or device that is out of order is to shout at it.

I had a cleaner/ironer for 11years while working ft and with DC s at home .When we retired I cut down the cleaning to once a month (a thorough clean of whole house I used to do it all in one day now I do the kitchen one day ,the rest of the house the next )I do only kitchen work surfaces ,sinks and loos in between .Husband hoovers and has specific jobs like the dishwasher ,bins etc .
When I have a new and more stream lined kitchen next year I will probably have a cleaner again Having decided not to downsize we are gradually making the house easier to run .
I can't imagine cleaning weekly with only two adults in the house

And I iron virtually nothing now .

We share tasks (both know how to do all of them) but we do have a cleaner for two hours a week now. DH cooks most meals so I tidy up afterwards & load dishwasher. DH took over the ironing about 30 years ago and we share shopping & gardening. We can do some DIY but we're in agreement about getting someone in to do a job if needed. It's a partnership!