The house is sold and I'm having a wobble

The buyers aren't responsible for the surveyor. If they are getting a mortgage it has probably been the one organised by the building society. They will be wanting to live in your house if they have got this far.
I moved a couple of months ago, where I am now is where I want to be. 32 years is a long time, but home is where you make it.

Pigglywiggly (love the name) don't worry about the wobble. You had your reasons for moving, I'm sure they were valid ones.

Just to be on the 'safe' side why don't you sit down and write a list of pros and cons. Then you will know if you are doing the right thing. Though I have to say from what I've read you seem to have made a very sensible choice of new home....but leaving a 'much loved home' is never easy.

If it is of any help to you I felt exactly the same when we sold our family house I loved every brick in that house and can still now close my eyes and walk myself through it,remember you take your memories with you and you are going to somewhere where you can manage things more easily,I wouldn't take the surveyors attitude personally they see homes every day and yours is just another set of bricks & mortar for them to inspect.

Yes I will. I moved after 32 years in a house that saw a lot of changes in my life and was my sanctuary at times. I had a typical 2-bed terrace with back garden on the coast. When I retired I moved to a ground floor flat with tiny front and back patio gardens in London. It took a lot of clearing out to charity shops and local tip, and evoked a lot of old memories, but I'm so glad I did it. I've made lots of new friends and keep in touch with old ones by email, the flat is much better suited to my needs and abilities and, best of all, I am very near my son and his family.

Good luck with your move

Thank you for your replies. Guess I just have to let my head rule my heart!
I know the surveyor is not someone the buyer has control over, but at the very least I would hope for a handshake and 'I'm Bob Smith the surveyor. Would you mind if I just get on with the job?' This man exchanged no pleasantries at all. We aren't having a mortgage so have chosen a surveyor ourselves so I hope he will be more polite!

We hate him already on your behalf Pigglywiggly and I've put my 'unbearable itching between the toes' curse on him. See how he likes that

You have my sympathies. Every time I have sold a house I have hated the intrusion! The last time, 6 months ago, I tried to be out when the viewers come round and was definitely out when the surveyor came.
Some people forget that they are guests in other people's homes. I hope all goes well and you can enjoy your new home.

Pigglywiggly,we have just moved after 41 years in the same house. Last night I dreamed I went back. All the lights were on and the curtains drawn and I was not at all sad. It was not my house anymore.
We have bought a much better house and that is going to be the start of a new life. We too went through the "shall we shan'twe phase." But I am truly glad we took that great big step.I expect you will too.Good luck

I think it's absolutely normal to have some misgivings about a big change like moving house. Especially after so many years.

The trick is to keep looking forward, not back, once you have actually made the move because things will have changed a lot in the old location. As the saying goes "You cannot step in the same river twice".

I had a patch of nostalgia a while back, wondering if we had made a mistake in moving here in 2012 and missing my old life, but it has passed and I realise how fortunate we are to have all the plus points - and more- that I listed when we were thinking of making the move.

Good luck Pigglywiggly and I hope you are really happy in your new home.

Yes it's an adventure Pigglywiggly, look forwards not back, you had good times in your old house and will do so in the new one. It's just a stressful time so take one job at a time and one day. Good luck

I do feel for you!

We moved in July. We were living in a lovely old cottage in the middle of the country (but near to a village) with views to die for - really totally amazing - and so very quiet and peaceful. Last summer I remember sitting out at the front gazing over the view of the Welsh hills and soaking up the extraordinary silence and thinking to myself that nothing, just nothing, would drag me away from there. We had lived there for 22 years.

But....I have some mobility problems and my OH has PD and this lovely home was on a very very steep hill - the drive was like a sheer drop. I was idly flicking through bungalows on the net and came across one that is 20 minutes away, large, light, spacious, with a wood behind, but with distant views for about a hundred miles. We went and looked at it and just fell for it - both heart and head, as we knew that there was no way we could stay where we were in the long term; and that the chances of finding something else that ticked the boxes of both practical and also with views were nil.

I too had a major wobble, as we sold the house to my DD (as a rental property), so no showing people round, surveyors etc. and we were moved within a month of viewing the bungalow! I was worried that it was all happening so quickly that I would regret it. I had previously suffered a major depression and was worried that this might be triggered - not somewhere I ever wish to re-visit!

But we love it - nearer 2 of my DDs, near enough to all my previous activities to be able to continue them, nearer to civilization, 5 minutes from the GP etc. - and above all no stairs!

I am sure that you had put a great deal of thought into this move - you are still in the same area so can keep the same friends and activities and everything will be familiar to you. We too thought we would be in the old house for ever. But the move has been all good and we felt very settled very quickly - I barely think about the old place.

Well done for taking this big decision and good luck in your new home.

Pigglywiggly Lots of us who were around on here remember "Luckygirl" being really torn over making this decision which she discussed on here.
As she says it has turned out really well. Taking the plunge is scary. Good luck!

Living in a house for 32 years is a big chunk of your life Pigglywiggly (great name) and you are bound to feel conflicted. House moving is one of the most stressful life events. If you didn't feel like this it would be odd. As others have said once you get busy moving in and putting your own stamp on your new place and making it home, the feelings will pass. After all life is constantly changing, and a house is only a building, it's the people in it that make it home.

We moved almost 2 years ago from our previous home. We had lived there for 28 years. We downsized from a large 4 bed to a much smaller 3 bed, detached, brand new house. It was the best thing we have done, was uncertain beforehand but on the day we moved had no problem moving on.

As the house is much smaller the bills are less, the housework takes no time at all, new garden to work on, in a village, only 14 miles from daughter (still 3500 miles from son).

I am sure it will be a lot easier than you imagine. Good luck in your new home

A house is just bricks and mortar A home is what is inside and the memories you make

We moved three months ago from our wonderful old family house with huge beautiful garden . 37 years of children, grandchildren , love and laughter. But also grass to cut, weeds to weed , and a Tudor building to maintain. No we are in a stunning new build flat overlooking the sea .....no weeds', easy cleaning , no maintenance and secure entry so that we can lock up and leave any time without a backward glance"
I decided that I wasn't going to dwell on my past and my babies growing up in the old place but would treat this as an adventure and new phase of our lives.
Moving house is stressful and exhausting but I wouldn't change a thing. Had we been any older we wouldn't have coped physically with the packing and settling . I don't think of another person sleeping in my bedroom though I did (briefly) before we left .....look forward not back .
I drove past the old house the other day ....a thing I thought I wouldn't be able to do and just thought how glad I was that I wasn't responsible of rthe maintenance any longer .

And .....when you are in the new place you will still have all your"things" around you.

piggly I moved in July from my sanctuary of 24 years, I'd wept a lot of tears about losing my home but, guess what, I love my flat!
I barely gave my old place a second thought and this is much better all round. Take the plunge, it's an adventure ☺

I moved last week from family home of 23 years after divorcing (32 years). It is hard to see your home as a commodity. I became very friendly with the staff at local recycling centre!! Just waiting to move to tiny cottage of my own. The surveyor is just doing his job. Good luck with your move.

I moved earlier this year from my family home of 30+ years to a small flat 2 doors away! I thought I would find it very difficult but apart from a major wobble on moving day it really has not worried me at all - and the money I released has helped both my sons on to the property ladder in London and left me enough for nice holidays etc.

I dithered for years about the move but now wish I had done it before.

We moved from the 'family home' some time ago when the neighbourhood got a bit too much, so there was real angst and regret for me as I loved the house and it really wasn't too big. Problems were a road outside that had turned into a race track, we had pets, shopping area became a hell hole - London in general now I fear. So, moved with tears and heartache, but very rapidly discovered that what matters goes with you; your loved ones, the books, animals, comfy sofas - they are the home and the rest is bricks and mortar, and amazingly I haven't missed it one bit. Good luck - I hope you'll be really happy.

Very interesting & reassuring to read these posts. I've been at our farm since I married DH 35 years ago but he has lived here for around 60 years. We rent out our ground but still live in the house, a 15th century Long House. It causes a massive amount of work to maintain it, plus we have a huge garden & responsibility for the farm buildings, one if which is about to collapse so we are spending a lot to have it repaired. The current tenants of the land have 4 remaining years & we know it will be sensible to sell then, despite opposition from both adult children, neither of whom want to live in it but both want it to still be somewhere to come home to. We are thinking of a brand new or very well converted & appointed flat in the centre of our local, very beautiful English market town. We know it will be like a bereavement but must see it as an adventure. It's a head and heart occasion!

pigglywiggly you are bound to feel like this until you are in your new home. You still identify yourself with your current home and understandably feel miffed at that surveyor. Incidentally he is clearly sadly lacking in basic courtesy and manners.

I can empathize with so many of the earlier posts. We downsized two years ago and our new home is an absolute joy. It is so much easier and cheaper to look after, so comfortable and the whole of our home and garden is entirely accessible to me. Every day I thank God for my new life here.

You will remember it all in detail anyway but one idea is to take lots of photos. Looking through old family albums (what were they?) what you end up checking out are the wallpaper and that old sofa and the door frame markings that were just 'background' when you took the pic. So take pics of those things...

When my mum's house was sold, that I had known for 55 years, I'd taken photos. I went back to visit it when we went to see mum's old neighbours, and the new owners had chopped it about and built on it so much that I couldn't work out where I was. It no longer felt like mine and it was a big relief.