That was a hard three weeks

Dear Anya, I too hope you won't leave forever, sometimes a break is needed, especially if there are things happening in RL that need all your attention and strength. I think you are a very kind person, and would be missed here.

I am just a cowardly lurker, and have been dismayed to see how Gransnet has been going lately, but didn't feel I could add anything.

I am sure there are a lot more lurkers who are really helped by their regular GN fix, but just don't feel able to say very much themselves. I hope this "spell" will pass, and GN will get back to what it was in Great Nans' Day.

Best wishes, whatever you decide x

Lurkers are very welcome in rhe kitchen, seacliff.

Anya, I would be sorry if you do leave and I expect Casawan will disappear again having managed the worst.

Thank you all.

Yes, I've not hit the 'go' button yet as I wanted to leave my PM box open to say goodbyes. So I've read all your lovely posts and PM

Perhaps if I explain you will understand.

mcem posted that it would be good I was to leave GN because she thought all the 'arrows came from my direction' or words to that effect. So I asked her to clarify....did she mean that if I left GN then all this nastiness would stop.

She relied unequivocally 'yes'.

The very odd thing is I've never had any issues with mcem so I can only assume that a lot of PMs have been flying around to the effect that I am the Wicked Witch and that I should be vilified. I was once, many years ago, accidentally copied into a PM telling me how dreadful a certain poster was and asking for my support to rid GN of this person.

I ought to have reported that straightaway to GNHQ but I quietly deleted it because I refuse to be manipulated in that way. Had I not received that round-robin then I wouldn't have thought this level of manipulation possible. The originator of that email is still in GN but her victim is not.

So, lovely people, that's what's going on here. And I know there is at least one other 'good guy' who can substantiate what I'm saying.

Add to that the fact that I'm having to stay strong and focused due to a couple of really bad issues at home then you wil understand ....*I simply don't need this*. I'm not the source of all the evils on GN, despite what some believe.

I'm leaving my PM box open until the Halloween witching hour is over in case I feel the need to send my famous 'mad itching between the toes' curse out again (some old poster might remember that one) .

Anya I'll be sorry to see you go too. I had one of those 'round robin' pms once and ignored it. I stepped back and stopped trying to have a laugh and joke.
Don't let them get you down.

The bad feeling seems to have faded. Let's see what stirring jibes next weekend brings.

The reason that anya has had no issues with me is simply because I always ignored her nasty jibes until last night.
Despite the oddly paranoid remark about PMs flying around I have to say that Anya's was the first PM I received followed later by a supportive one from a different poster. I won't be using that inbox to further this discussion as I normally prefer to post openly or not at all.
Hardly evidence of cliques or bullying tactics!
If you review this dreadful thread you'll find several posts saying folk were uncomfortable with anya's remarks but none felt it necessary to pm me to form a gang!
If someone is having a hard time in RL and shares problems then GN is serving a useful purpose. However if relief from those problems can only be found in targetting a poster (who is having an equally difficult time) then perhaps it's right to look for a different source of solace.
One doesn't solve one's problems by creating more.
I wish anya well in her quiet time of contemplation and introspection.

Another one here Anya who hopes you will just take a break to recoup your mind and sort out your problems. I started a thread a few days ago remarking on the number of new names who were posting. I was too polite to say that quite a few were agitating for nastiness and I don't mean all so apologies to those of you who weren't.I have thought myself of taking a break but actually I do need the friendship and support of people I have got to know at a difficult stage in my life.

Have just opened Gransnet. Anya please don't leave. I do believe that people are being snippy because there is no face next to the post.

Oh no ann don't you go too! I think a lot of us have felt like going at some time, but just taking a bit of a break is often all it takes to get things in perspective again.

I, too, have been lurking for a while - although I am a long standing member of Gransnet. I feel deeply sorry to read many of the comments that have been posted recently. This has resulted in the loss of some wise and helpful support from posters who have been made to feel unwelcome? Anya has been around on here for a long time, for me - she has been something of a life line. She has shown true friendship and compassion to many, she has a wicked sense of humour and a wonderful zest for life - even in her dark times? We all need to be mindful when we post on any forum - we cannot know what others are experiencing at a particular time. I send my best wishes to all of those feeling low or unhappy today for whatever reason. To Anya I send my heartfelt thanks for keeping me going during some very, very dark days, I will miss your presence on here (even as a lurker) I hope you will be back ?❤️

Well that says it all mcem cutting through all the padding in your email, you thought I was 'targeting a certain poster' by these 'nasty jibes' and your delightful post was in defence of this poster who then was the one who sent you a 'supportive' PM.

??????

I really don't want your insincere well wishes, but thanks suggesting again that I need to 'look for a different source of solace' . Such insincerity almost makes me want to stand and fight my corner.

Lona I'm delighted you had the courage to confirm that these round-robins are out there, and as you were not the 'good guy' I was referring to (but you are a good guy IMHO) that makes it even more interesting.

PS it makes you wonder exactly what happened re jingl doesn't it?

Oh thank you JG how lovely to have such a vote of confidence just when I was so needing it (((hugs)))

Look hard enough for insincerity and you'll find it.
I honestly don't believe you are helping yourself or anyone else by continuing to dig this hole.
Whether or not you choose to accept my good wishes I hope you come through this period of unhappiness using whatever means you find helpful as long as it doesn't mean hurting others.

"I wish anya well in her quiet time of contemplation and introspection."

Is she joining a nunnery?! Surely not!

Have just come on here and........have never read such patronising ( breathtakingly so) posts as you have just posted mcem

I don't want Anya or anyone else to feel that they have to leave Gransnet and hope sincerely that this will not happen.

Oh please stop all this nastiness. Whatever happened to live and let live?

mcem you just dont know when to stop do you? I have the strangest feeling that you are delighted that Anya has decided that enough is enough, and for the life of me just can't see why you felt obliged to launch that nasty remark. I wonder who is going to be your next target

NonnaW I second that! Please stop this now!! I think of GN as a place for fun, chat, stimulating discussion, support and virtual friendship. I can't for the life of me understand why posters would want to make others feel unhappy. Have we not got enough to deal with in our complicated real lives?

anya - I agree with all the supportive comments above. Please don't be put off by such a tiny minority of one. Today starts another week. Can you not put the unpleasant remarks behind you, knowing that virtually everyone on here wants you to stay? And if you can (put it behind you). just go on being yourself. Hope we "see" you soon ?

Since I've been accused of making all sorts of nasty remarks I'm not sure which you mean.
I too believe we should 'live and let live' which is why I've held off for so long and haven't previously become involved. However enough's enough.
Persistent nastiness should be called out and that's what I did.
A case of not taking what you dish out? It works both ways.
In trying to be honest and fair by criticising one particularly nasty set of posts I stand accused of being insincere and patronising.
So be it. GN is not so significant a part of my life that I need to justify myself.
Thanks to those who have now pm'd their support.
I now have more important things to do like accompanying my daughter to yet another hospital appointment.

I've been with GN a couple of years now. Lurked for a long while before posting. If this thread had been around when I was considering GN, which is my first and only experience of an on line forum, I wouldn't have joined. Why would I have wanted to? I feel sad and confused this morning. Anya I cannot recall recoiling from any of your posts, I have appreciated your insight and humour, your great support of others. . I miss jingl and wonder what on earth has happened to cause the loss of her and other posters. It feels so much like playground bullying, Anya' I hope that rl becomes less stressful very soon and that you decide not to be driven away if you would really like to stay here as many would miss you.

I will reiterate what Ana said earlier in the thread:

Bet Rigby and the other MNetters are loving all this!

A version of Veni, Vidi, Vici
As in "I came, I stirred, I went away again." ?

I know we don't always agree with each others point of view,but I really don't think you should leave Anya . Anyway, how boring would this forum be if we did all agree with each other?

I don't like the way some threads get nasty and I try to just stay away from them for a while.

As mumofmadboys said, have a few days off and then I hope to see you back here.

I've been out this morning so just caught up with today's posts on this thread.

Apart from adding my support for Anya and hoping she reconsiders her decision to leave, there's nothing I can say other than I'm not surprised things are coming to a head. Resentment has been simmering for some time.

Cuckoos are in the nest.