So far, so good, but is this something you'd consider?

What a brilliant idea if you can get the right person. I should imagine it would be a living hell if you got someone who was too clingy or lazy.

Same as above poster says.You're obviously lucky , and glad it has worked for you, because yes, it's a good idea indeed.Did you already know her?

I think that you have been incredibly lucky and it has worked out brilliantly for you.

Maybe I am selfish but I want the TV to myself each evening and I do not have 2 lounges, just one room which is a lounge as well as dining area.

Sorry, ipad....you are obviously lucky, was what I meant to say.

Sounds a good solution for you, I can imagine sharing with a daughter or sister but not a stranger. Is the lady a friend? and did you rent the house together or is she sharing your home?

Hi again!
Admittedly, the lady is the sister of an acquaintance,(not really a friend) and I had met her a couple of times before.

I just think that for people who really do feel a bit isolated and low through loneliness, then this could be a good idea. I know you have to take a leap of faith, but with careful thought, and a bit of give and take, it could be better than that continual empty silence.

Definitely- with proper agreements in place, and with a trial period- and providing each can have some privacy and space.

You hear a lot about young women house sharing so why not older women? It sounds ideal. Glad to hear it's working out for you.

granjura's suggestion of a trial period is a good one.

I think it's a great idea- do you have some sort of agreed 'get out' agreement?

Yes with safeguards and proper agreements.
I am sure most people can manage a television in their room.
Many young people seem to manage living in shared houses.

What would you do, if after a while, you realized it wasn't working out? Can she invite her friends round? What if you found her irritating, noisy, lazy and how would you ask her to leave? She may say she has nowhere to go. You can't just turf her out! What if she became ill and needed looking after?
Do you have a tenancy agreement?
Actually I think it's a great idea.
Having said that, although I have plenty of friends, I would find it difficult sharing a house with any of them.

Years ago, it was quite common for people who were living alone with spare bedrooms to offer to house share. My Nan had several other women to share her house, they lived separate lives but it was a way to share the household costs and not feel alone.

So if it works for you, that is a great way to avoid loneliness and share costs.

We have known of this before and whilst it did work to start with when the novelty wears off the problems begin. You really do need an agreement so that you both know where you stand regarding the rights and responsibilities. Good idea to get some advice.

There was an article - I think it was in Guardian Weekend last week - about three older ladies who'd actually bought quite a large house between them. They were loving it because they had enough space to enjoy their own privacy but there was always someone around for support and companionship when needed. I thought it sounded like a very good idea for reasonably easy going people. They said that the arrangement had entailed quite a lot of legal documentation to make sure all their rights were preserved.

I don't think I'd like the idea of sharing someone else's house and paying rent. It wouldn't be an equal relationship because the person who owned the house could "pull rank" and you could end up in the situation where you were walking on egg shells all the time.

Thanks so much to everyone who has responded.

Mine is a very informal arrangement to be honest, we've agreed to reassess things at Christmas, but we've shared now since early September and I have no problems at all, some days I hardly know she's here, but other days, we potter around quite companionably, and believe me, this is a very small cottage!

If things were to change obviously I'd have a chat and try to resolve any issues, and it would be only fair to ask if I'm doing anything that irritates her.

I think you can get the measure of people quite soon, and anyone thinking about it should have a good long chat with the proposed housemate first, find out about their lifestyle, likes and dislikes etc.

But I'm talking about 'mature' sharing, which hopefully lessens the risks somewhat.

I think this would appeal to people who maybe find themselves living alone more thro circumstance, rather than choice, and hate the empty silence.

I think, carefully handled this could be the answer for so many 'mature' people.

Lovely to read so many thoughts. Thank you.

My friend and I both work closely with people, many of our clients are widows so we see lots of the dicisions they make to cope with living alone in old age.
So we discuss this with regard to ourselves. We've come to the conclusion that a large house is the answer with a few people sharing so everyone has a fair input. It would have to be big enough for us all to have our own private space including a sitting room.
A house near us that would have been perfect has just been sold. Unfortunately we couldn't afford it because we have our own homes and we aren't ready for it yet.
We do realise that the legalities are very complicated as no one should be put in a vulnerable position.
Communal living would not suit my husband.
What about pets, GC and all?

Your solution seems preferable to living in the middle of nowhere, no buses, no shops and no one to talk to that some of our clients have chosen.

When I was very young, end of war/post-war, shared houses were very common. Young marrieds often lived with parents, because there simply wasn't any alternative. Having '2 rooms' in someone's house also happened a lot. Wasn't always ideal, of course, but could be much more regulated and planned these days.

After the first word war it was common for women to live together as there was a dreadful shortage of men, they supported each other as friends and sisters often lived together if spinsters or widows.

We lament the way families used to care for their elderly and fear house shares which can work very well, especially so now that people can have their own TV or lap top etc so maintain a social life independent of the there person.

Properly negotiated it could be just the same as living next door to someone........our own space can just be a place to be lonely in.

I often house share with people, usually young people between homes and do enjoy it.

I agree with the right person this could be ideal, I couldn't live with either my DM or DD for any length of time as we'd drive each other crazy but then I'm a very independent person & love my own company.

I am surrounded by good friends & now everything is settling down after my move 18 months ago I am starting to build a social life, I already go out to Lunch & Afternoon Tea with a support group (I started going after coming out of Hospital, 5 week stay with severe pneumonia) & have continued as we're quite a lively mixed group. I am hoping to further build my social life after Christmas (having work done on home at present & visit to DM planned).

It's not for me but I can see it would work for many with the right planning

I think this is a great idea, with compatible lifestyles, handled in the right way and provided the ground rules are agreed at the outset.

A wonderful solution to an issue that affects many older people. It's certainly something I would consider in the right circumstances.

As it is, with a large house now that the offspring are well and truly settled and living some distance away, we do bed and breakfast. It keeps the OH happy and gainfully occupied....

We have two ladies living near us who retired and bought a house together in joint names and with all the 'legals' in place. It seems to work very well for them as they have their own private spaces to which they can retreat and since their incomes go much further they have bought a motor home and do a great deal of exploring the country while they are fit enough.
Wise to ensure that it is a sharing by equals.

I have thought about it. Over the years I have had various students staying for me short term. Trainee teachers and foreign language students from all over the world. Great fun.

An awful experience a few years ago with a male mature student from Morocco makes me cautious. He was charming at first, but turned out to be a drug taker and thief who refused to pay his rent, verbally abused me and threatened me with violence.

I am glad it worked out for you with the lady who has moved in.

I think I will probably get a little dog like my elder daughter's. It's a Maltese Bichon cross and is sweet and entertaining.

We have decided for various reasons not to down size Were I to be left a relatively young widow I would definitely consider a 'lodger' I shared throught my twenties It was such fun And am still friends with all of them (7 I think) .I think I might prefer someone young though... but I have two DDs so am used to young women .
I think a comparative stranger would work better than someone you are already very friendly with and know well .I have several long term and very dear friends but there are only two I can imagine living with

I agree it can work well. When my husband and I separated I lived for over a year with a lady and her teenage son. She had put an advert for a lodger in the post Office. We enjoyed each others company and had some wonderful times. Later I shared my own home with a young woman who was working locally and again we became firm friends and still keep in touch. More recently through the YMCA supported lodging scene I have had young people staying for periods from a week to over a year. Not always easy but very very satisfying. Despite their difficult background they have all been respectful of my house and never stolen or anything like that. I would recommend it to anyone with " a empty nest".