So far, so good, but is this something you'd consider?

I have never heard of this before. I think it’s a fantastic idea especially for folks who don’t have a lot of family or friends around. Being the oldest of five, all with kids of our own and grandkids, there’s always someone popping in. But certainly something I would consider if not for this crowd.

Watch this space! Someone will turn Mature Sharing into a business soon if they haven’t already.

Up until quite recently it was not unusual for different generations in the UK to share a home. When I was growing up in the 50's and 60's, most of my friends had a grandparent or an unmarried uncle or aunt living with them.
Sometimes it worked out well but not always.

There is an organisation that assists older people to house share.
www.housingcare.org/service/type-30-homesharing.aspx

Someone likes cooking, another person like eating, sounds fine to me, bit like marriage without the sex. But I'm not sure anyone else would want to live with me.

I understand that in many cultures, it is taken for granted that different generations live under the same roof. Unfortunately, we would not own the property as my DD is worried that her brothers would make a claim, should we peg it. Also Care costs have to be thought about as it is no longer viable to dispose of income before it may be required. Presumably your property could be sold if need be without affecting your DD

That's what we've done, GrandMareS

We converted a building on our land into a granny pad for us. It's quite large and mostly open plan so we don't feel cramped. DD and the two teenage DGSs now live in our bungalow. We're just across the garden from eachother.

It's definitely preferable to all living under one roof. We did consider extending the bungalow but I don't think that would have worked.

The one thing in our favour is that WE own the property so we will have nothing to worry about if DD decides to move in the future.

Do any of you know of oldies living with Offspring with two teenagers? This is something we are considering - selling both properties to buy something suitable for both families. Having two DS who are completely wrapped up in their own lives, our DD and SiL have suggested this and as we have always been very close, think it might be feasible. We did a similar venture with OH parents who converted an outbuilding on our property and it worked really well. Preferable to sharing house with unknowns?

I'm in my early 50's and am seriously thinking about it too. It's a great idea OP. I remember watching a programme called "The Golden Girls" a few years back and it stuck with me. More and more women are now living on their own with no interest in "starting again" with a man.

It makes a lot of sense.

I thought Waiting for God was set in a very upmarket retirement home. I always wondered what the two main characters were moaning about, as the place they were living in looked magnificently civilised to me - a far cry from some old people's homes.

We were taking my mum and dad out for a drive one day when he decided he wanted to call in to see a very old friend he hadn't seen for several years. This friend, a charming man who was then in his 70's, was extremely knowledgeable about the arts. We were talking about the theatre and he mentioned a production he had seen of Waiting for Godot, which he said was one of his favourites. Mum piped up "Oh yes, we always watch that". There was a silence as we all wondered what on earth she was talking about. Then it suddenly hit me: she meant the TV comedy Waiting for God. We laughed so much on the way home, recalling the puzzled expresion on my Dad's friend's face.

Sorry, I've gone right of the subject.

Did anyone watch Waiting for God a few years ago? I always thought that was the perfect arrangement, your own living accommodation but a connecting conservatory. I just need to find an empty terrace of houses now, build a conservatory across the back of them all and off we go!

Sorry to digress but how are you henetha we have been thinking of you.

I think this is a wonderful idea,- for some. In fact I am quite envious of those for whom it would work. However, I know for sure it would not suit me. After 7 years alone I am too selfish and too set in my ways. I did discuss it briefly once with a good friend, but sadly she died before we could decide anything.
Brilliant idea for many people, lots of luck to those who
choose it.

Sounds like a really great idea, if you get on and it suits you both. We often had lodgers when our children were younger, it helped to pay the bills and was company for me as my husband was often away. Nowadays we have the teachers from overseas school groups who come to learn English, which we enjoy and it raises a little cash (tax-free up to a given level). Each group comes for one or two weeks and we often have the same people from year to year.
Not to put a black cloud over your arrangement, but obviously as time goes by one of you might need care. Are both of you up for this? At what stage would your lodger have to go? And if something happens to you (illness or worse) will you have a legal agreement to say that she leaves? A long term lodger might have the right to stay in your house, affecting what can be done with it should you not be living there.

I agree it can work well. When my husband and I separated I lived for over a year with a lady and her teenage son. She had put an advert for a lodger in the post Office. We enjoyed each others company and had some wonderful times. Later I shared my own home with a young woman who was working locally and again we became firm friends and still keep in touch. More recently through the YMCA supported lodging scene I have had young people staying for periods from a week to over a year. Not always easy but very very satisfying. Despite their difficult background they have all been respectful of my house and never stolen or anything like that. I would recommend it to anyone with " a empty nest".

We have decided for various reasons not to down size Were I to be left a relatively young widow I would definitely consider a 'lodger' I shared throught my twenties It was such fun And am still friends with all of them (7 I think) .I think I might prefer someone young though... but I have two DDs so am used to young women .
I think a comparative stranger would work better than someone you are already very friendly with and know well .I have several long term and very dear friends but there are only two I can imagine living with

I have thought about it. Over the years I have had various students staying for me short term. Trainee teachers and foreign language students from all over the world. Great fun.

An awful experience a few years ago with a male mature student from Morocco makes me cautious. He was charming at first, but turned out to be a drug taker and thief who refused to pay his rent, verbally abused me and threatened me with violence.

I am glad it worked out for you with the lady who has moved in.

I think I will probably get a little dog like my elder daughter's. It's a Maltese Bichon cross and is sweet and entertaining.

We have two ladies living near us who retired and bought a house together in joint names and with all the 'legals' in place. It seems to work very well for them as they have their own private spaces to which they can retreat and since their incomes go much further they have bought a motor home and do a great deal of exploring the country while they are fit enough.
Wise to ensure that it is a sharing by equals.

I think this is a great idea, with compatible lifestyles, handled in the right way and provided the ground rules are agreed at the outset.

A wonderful solution to an issue that affects many older people. It's certainly something I would consider in the right circumstances.

As it is, with a large house now that the offspring are well and truly settled and living some distance away, we do bed and breakfast. It keeps the OH happy and gainfully occupied....

I agree with the right person this could be ideal, I couldn't live with either my DM or DD for any length of time as we'd drive each other crazy but then I'm a very independent person & love my own company.

I am surrounded by good friends & now everything is settling down after my move 18 months ago I am starting to build a social life, I already go out to Lunch & Afternoon Tea with a support group (I started going after coming out of Hospital, 5 week stay with severe pneumonia) & have continued as we're quite a lively mixed group. I am hoping to further build my social life after Christmas (having work done on home at present & visit to DM planned).

It's not for me but I can see it would work for many with the right planning

After the first word war it was common for women to live together as there was a dreadful shortage of men, they supported each other as friends and sisters often lived together if spinsters or widows.

We lament the way families used to care for their elderly and fear house shares which can work very well, especially so now that people can have their own TV or lap top etc so maintain a social life independent of the there person.

Properly negotiated it could be just the same as living next door to someone........our own space can just be a place to be lonely in.

I often house share with people, usually young people between homes and do enjoy it.

When I was very young, end of war/post-war, shared houses were very common. Young marrieds often lived with parents, because there simply wasn't any alternative. Having '2 rooms' in someone's house also happened a lot. Wasn't always ideal, of course, but could be much more regulated and planned these days.

My friend and I both work closely with people, many of our clients are widows so we see lots of the dicisions they make to cope with living alone in old age.
So we discuss this with regard to ourselves. We've come to the conclusion that a large house is the answer with a few people sharing so everyone has a fair input. It would have to be big enough for us all to have our own private space including a sitting room.
A house near us that would have been perfect has just been sold. Unfortunately we couldn't afford it because we have our own homes and we aren't ready for it yet.
We do realise that the legalities are very complicated as no one should be put in a vulnerable position.
Communal living would not suit my husband.
What about pets, GC and all?

Your solution seems preferable to living in the middle of nowhere, no buses, no shops and no one to talk to that some of our clients have chosen.

Thanks so much to everyone who has responded.

Mine is a very informal arrangement to be honest, we've agreed to reassess things at Christmas, but we've shared now since early September and I have no problems at all, some days I hardly know she's here, but other days, we potter around quite companionably, and believe me, this is a very small cottage!

If things were to change obviously I'd have a chat and try to resolve any issues, and it would be only fair to ask if I'm doing anything that irritates her.

I think you can get the measure of people quite soon, and anyone thinking about it should have a good long chat with the proposed housemate first, find out about their lifestyle, likes and dislikes etc.

But I'm talking about 'mature' sharing, which hopefully lessens the risks somewhat.

I think this would appeal to people who maybe find themselves living alone more thro circumstance, rather than choice, and hate the empty silence.

I think, carefully handled this could be the answer for so many 'mature' people.

Lovely to read so many thoughts. Thank you.

There was an article - I think it was in Guardian Weekend last week - about three older ladies who'd actually bought quite a large house between them. They were loving it because they had enough space to enjoy their own privacy but there was always someone around for support and companionship when needed. I thought it sounded like a very good idea for reasonably easy going people. They said that the arrangement had entailed quite a lot of legal documentation to make sure all their rights were preserved.

I don't think I'd like the idea of sharing someone else's house and paying rent. It wouldn't be an equal relationship because the person who owned the house could "pull rank" and you could end up in the situation where you were walking on egg shells all the time.

We have known of this before and whilst it did work to start with when the novelty wears off the problems begin. You really do need an agreement so that you both know where you stand regarding the rights and responsibilities. Good idea to get some advice.