My grandson prefers daddy to mummy.

You've had good advice - and it was good for me to hear it too as my five year old DGS preferred his dad too, making my DD the 'bad guy' when he needed to be disciplined. DGS also preferred his granddad (which used to make me feel sad even though I knew rationally that he wasn't being intentionally hurtful) as I did all the hands-on work when looking after him. My DD left her stressful job last year when DGS started school and I could see a big change in their relationship. Although his favourite person is my DS, his uncle, as he gets older, I can see DGS now relates to us all in different ways. Many go through the phase of preferring one parent or sex over the other.

This was my own children not grandchildren.My eldest daughter was always a 'daddy' girl.my second daughter never appeared to have a favourite.Even in adult hood the preference? continued.It still remains a mystery and has led to many a heated discussion.Maybe I did something wrong somewhere in her adulthood but as a baby I have never understood.
As my husband worked long and erratic hours I was frequently both mum and dad.Can any one give me an answer.

Completely normal! All 3 of my younger DGC have gone through stages where Daddy is the only one they want & they refuse to be cuddled by anyone else if he is around. He has to put them to bed & read the stories etc. He gets home tired & then starts again! My DIL very sensibly sits down & has a cuppa & watches TV until it is all over & done with. When he is away on business they are perfectly happy with Mummy.At the moment the 2 year old is totally obsessed with him & 5 year old just coming out of it. 7 year old is above all this now!!
I remember my boys being ecstatic when Daddy came home too. I also got a break at that time.
It is a totally normal situation. I think if Mum goes out to work & Dad is at home the same applies & Mum is the prefered parent.
Please tell her not to worry & enjoy the sit down!

Whats the problem? surely your daughter doesn't expect the child to be under her wing 24/7 why would she feel rejection because he loves his Daddy as well as her
What if she left him with his Daddy for the morning and she walked in the house and he didn't look up or come to her would she rather he didn't want his Daddy he's a lucky baby to have a mum and dad together Absolutely nothing to make a bones about
But she needs to address it now as what will happen when he comes home from school and says I love my teacher or older still I hate you I love daddy, it's going to happen he will play one of against the other.
If she has depression or low self esteem it help her find some help as it will only get worse and then of course girl friends take over from Mum and whoops another great big rejection

If you're daughter can change her mindset she may come to see this as a blessing. She can catch up on stuff she hasn't had a chance to do or just go and have a relaxing bath. Returning to work can be difficult, can you gently persuade her to stick to the original plan if you feel that's right?

Everyone has given sensible advice but just one thing struck me.
You mentioned that you wouldn't allow your daughter to put your GS into nursery .... Or words to that effect

I'm sure you're a lovely Mum and Grandma & this is just an opinion. Your daughter is over 30 and should make her own decisions about nursery, return to work or whatever.
This sort of major decision really is nothing to do with 'us'.

My DD went back to work when gorgeous GS was 8 months old. Needs must and all that. Nursery 3.5 days a week and us 1.5 days. He's now almost 4 and I think nursery has been wonderful. He's learnt to socialise, his speech is great and his days are filled with exciting activities and learning based on play. I know he loves his special care giver at nursery. Am I jealous? Not one iota. As long as he's thriving and happy.

All the best in persuading DD that your GS's 'favourite' person is the norm.

Yes there all different characters arnt they My Dg1is a real nabas boy Whilst Dg2 Is a stickon to grandad And never wants me.He is more of a boys boy They both prefare there dad to there mum As he hirses around and spoiks tge more Children srnt stupid they go to the best bet

My Gd is just the same, absolutely dotes on her Dad & Mum often excluded when he is about, been like this since she was a baby & now 5yrs old, but all previous posts are right, it does get better.
I have to say though her Daddy dotes on her as well, & children do pick up on body language. I do sometimes hint that Daddy is trying too hard, he so wants to be a hands on Dad that sometimes it can exclude Mum, unwittingly.

In my experience a Mum who has been living in a busy,"baby world"all day is usually only too relieved when Daddy comes home from work and can take over for a while. Some Dad's aren't quite so "hands on", so I'd be grateful for that. Sounds like your Daughter might have some issues. As for describing what is normal behaviour as "rejection" by a one year old's natural response to a returning, familiar face... sorry, but that's just ridiculous.

I am sure there is a lot more going on here than a baby who loves his Dad coming home. A lot of mothers would prefer to stay at home through to school but I don't know anybody who manages it financially. The Nursery our DGC went to was very good and they are all confident and outgoing so don't worry about that just choose carefully.

My GD wants only Daddy - I know Dil feels really bad about it at times, and particularly when she rushes straight past Dil and runs to her Daddy when she gets home from outings with us. So many of Dil's friends have told her this is completely common and normal, because Daddy is out at work all day and Mummy is taken completely for granted (sound familiar, fellow Gransnetters?). Doesn't make it any easier to bear if you are particularly sensitive for any reason, but it does seem to be common, and normal, so it's nothing she has done or failed to do it would seem.

The last sentence is very worrying 'I won't let her put him in nursery' are you sure you don't ' help' too much she will never gain confidence if you are making decisions for her I really feel you are worrying about her too much She's 30 not 16 let her make her own decisions whether they turn out right or wrongWellington in your later post you say ' I wouldn't stop her putting him in nursery for the right reason' .....so you are still making her decisions for her . whatever reasons, right or wrong it's her and husband decision ONLY What does his Daddy think about nursery and her returning to work it's down to the two of them to talk it over and that doesnt come over in your post

Are you sure you're not too involved ? It's very easily done when our kids are a bit sad or troubled but we have to let them fly and make their own mistakes

Dad's play differently as quite a lot of research shows and why not? I used to love it when dad came home, we had a pretend cocktail bar made of half a wardrobe covered in old Christmas paper, and a supply of fizzy pop. I could get the dinner sorted while dad got behind the bar and mixed the cocktails asking DD (aged 4) how her mother was keeping.

She isn't an alcoholic by the way............

By tea time it was all hands to the pump at our house believe me, I'd have welcomed Ghengis khan if he'd offered to help out.

When I visit down in Bristol, my grandson has only one name he repeats during the day: Nana, Nana, Nana, Nana! Reason? He has my undivided attention all day while I'm there. We play constantly. I put him down for his nap, telling him a story as he relaxes on my lap. Is my daughter offended? She is not! She catches up on jobs around the house and that most blessed of all things...sleep! She goes out with her husband or meets up with friends while I babysit. It's such a rest for her. Of course, if there's a fall or other upset, Mama is called for but when we're playing together, we need no one else! Right now I'm choked to know he wanders about saying 'no Nana' because I left to fly home this morning. He's 21 months.

Your grandson is normal, your daughter's reaction is not. The problem here is her not the child. If she's feeling "rejected" then she's expecting a 1 year old to fill her emotional needs, which is not okay!

After 'Mummy, Mummy, Mummy' all day long surely she is relieved to hear him shout 'Daddy!!'

I almost threw my sons at their Dad when he came home - I needed a break! I went back to work and then our bonus was born so we had a nanny and bonus gravitated to her. It did bother me a bit to start with but probably cos I was feeling guilty for sticking with my job rather than giving up work again. Both Dad and I have a great relationship with all our kids now so i'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

What someone feels is what they feel. Perhaps daughter needs to talk to the boy's father and come up with a solution together. Make sure he pays attention to her as well as the child and then suggests Mummy has some time to herself - a bath not making supper!

Think some of these gransnet responses are really harsh - thought we were a supportive forum

Tell her to make the most of it children are fickle it's quite normal I often take second place with GC behind my hubby but I don't mind I just love to see relationships develop when mine were little I loved it when they wanted daddy it gave me a break

I'm glad you're looking out for your daughter. I'm sure she'd let you know if she felt you were interfering. We all have different relationships with our children, their partners and our grandchildren and without knowing all the facts and being part of the family, I don't think anyone has the right to tell you what you should be doing. Having said that, there is some good advice there too.
A few people mentioned your daughter's health. PND is so widespread and so misunderstood. Mothers are so ashamed of it and often unable to recognise that they are suffering from it let alone discuss it with their nearest and dearest. There are many charities doing wonderful work where you can make yourself familiar with the symptoms in case you need to offer support. Parenting isn't easy even when your offspring are grown up!

Well said Cazzacaz. Yes, as amply said in the preceding pages, your DGS's reaction is normal. It is the importance that your DD attaches to it that is out of kilter. It is affecting her relationship with her child, impacting on their time together and that is when it starts to get difficult and what she needs help with. She is talking about putting him in nursery and going back to work full time - is she finding it hard to cope or does she see this as a sort of punishment for him for preferring his father? She needs to separate the behaviour from the child as this sounds as though she is letting this spoil the time she has with him when dad is not there.

You say she had a difficult pregnancy Wellington, has she been to see her GP lately. If her self esteem is low and she is letting this issue get out of proportion to the extent of having such an impact on her relationship with her little son, a visit to the GP to ask about postnatal depression, talking to the Health Visitor or going to her local Children's Centre (if she's still got one nearby) would all seem like sensible moves. She needs support but just telling her that it's all perfectly usual behaviour for a child of that age won't do it, as her reaction to it is not usual.

I wish you, your DD and your DGS all the very best and hope she gets the support she needs.

My middle child is a complete daddies girl and up until 6 months ago wouldn't even go to sleep until daddy tucked her in.

My eldest is totally mummy and my baby is also. I understand why she feels rejected but it's really normal x

It seems to me the best thing OP could do is show her daughter this thread, as, essentially, everyone is saying 'normal' in every way it can be said. and if four pages of grsndpsrents saying it csnnot convince her, nothing will.

When you think it through there is potential for either mummy or daddy to feel rejected when a child is either mummy's or daddy's boy or girl if this is taken personally and not accepted as just a normal fact of life.

My DGSs are always pleased when their daddy gets home and so in my DD..givers her a bit of peace!

I am sure this situation (in OP) is natural and nothing to worry about. Id the baby is happy with his mum the rest of the time no probs. Does daddy look after the baby for days when mum goes out? Mabe then tables would turn!