What happened to manners?

I also don't understand why it's always teens that get the brunt of the wrath, when there are usually plenty of other adults on the bus/train, but they're not the ones who are usually targetted by the tutters.

I hate how teens are treated like an underclass

(pregnant ladies can be in 1st priority or 3rd IMO, you don't know who is suffering from SPD etc, I suffered from hip issues and was more comfortable standing, it's just nice to be asked, but if you're not asked and need a seat, just ask)

yes, I do see that sort of thing a lot too, I use public transport daily for my commute, most people are nice, the tutters are actually the rude exception.

I've seen "tutters" walk past available seats near the bus door and stand glaring over a teenager tutting about then not hopping up, when why should they? there were available seats a shorter distance from the door!

I tend to work on the assumption that people who chose to stand when there are available seats want to stand (off next stop maybe, and some people are more comfortable standing), so I don't get up for them, I also work on the assumption that if someone isn't getting up when there are no spare seats, they probably have a reason to.

Actual disabilities trump being in an age range where disabilites are more likely. Over 65s might really be less able to stand, and they and under 65s who are disabled have priority IMO over people who just happened to be over 65 but are otherwise fit. 2nd priority = all over 65s, 3rd priority = small children who can't balance well sanding.

However, disabled doesn't = wheelchair or crutches. Most are invisible.

An over 65 who can walk past available seats to make a point of tutting at a teen (who for all they know might actually need to sit near the door) is just an arse. It happens a lot.

I assumed GrandmaKT only got up when it was obvious nobody else was going to, notanan.

I do agree with you about just asking nicely for a bag to be moved instead of making an issue of it. It's usually just that people have put it there when there was plenty of room and haven't noticed the bus filling up - I've done it myself.

I was in a small cafe yesterday with 7 of the family, including the 3 DGS. We sat at 3 tables, using (not surprisingly) 8 of the 9 chairs set around them. In came two ladies and a toddler and sat at the only remaining table, toddler on one knee as there were only two chairs. Instead of just smiling and taking the spare chair from my table, the older lady immediately started glaring over at us, chuntering about all the chairs being taken, nowhere for us all to sit. DS jumped up from his meal and took the spare chair over to her with a smile. Not a word of thanks.

Can I also point out that a lot of younger people and teenagers suffere from invisible disabilities, and might be more entitled/needing the seat than anyone else, and being tutted for not announcing their medical history on every bus/train journey should not happen in a civilised society!

At least they had the good grace to look guilty when I gave the lady my seat and glared in their direction!

If the lady was being given a seat, I don't undersand why you think they should also get up? the lady presumably can't sit in five seats at once.

I get up if my seat is needed. I don't get up if someone else is getting up, why would I? that makes NO sense.

I generally enjoy public transport because you get chatting to random people, the tutters probably have a less enjoyable experience of public transport, but it's their own problem/fault. Just try smiling/asking, actually you don't even need to ask, just smile and approach the seat you want. Being NICE pays off more than being anal about etiquette even when it doesn't actually effect you in any real terms (because you're sitting across the isle being judgemental about a seat nobody needs having a bag on it)

I put my bag on the seat if there's spaces, the floor is usually wet/dirty and there's no racks except right up the front where you can't see/mind your belongings. I happily move it onto my lap if someone appears to be approaching to sit down, or if someone asks me, it's not a problem, just ask!

But if someone is SITTING somewhere near me, staring at me and tutting about my bad mannors, they are the nasty unfriendly ones TBH. I'm not the one creating a hostile travelling environment

Some people put their own perception of mannors above friendliness, I don't think that's much of a higher moral ground at all

In central London you wouldn't, or anywhere else where you get off in the middle of the bus. I do tend to thank the driver on small buses where passengers get on and off at the front.

You mean there are places in England where people don't thank the driver on a bus?

I was on an Intercity train recently sitting in a reserved table seat. 4 Indian youths were sitting at the table across the isle. A lot of people got on at Birmingham and the train became over-full with people standing in the aisle, including a tiny very old Indian lady. Because of their traditional family values I did expect one of the lads to stand up for her, but they just lounged there ignoring her (as did everyone else to be fair). At least they had the good grace to look guilty when I gave the lady my seat and glared in their direction!

What about the people, usually two, walking together, obviously too involved in their conversation, that seem not to notice you approaching and you have to step aside before you are rammed out of the way.

How I agree with you WOT. Our grandchildren never ever thank us for gifts. We recently gave one a quite large sum of money & he hasnt bothered to say thank you. It makes me mad. As a child I had to write a thank you letter for half a crown! I know times have changed, but even an email would be acceptable.

Seat sorry oops

I was pregnant with my daughter in 1971 not only did I get a sit on the bus when I went to work, the bus conductor (remember them) used to help me off the bus. But I have to say I have noticed a lot of kids on trains with there feet on the chair opposite, I just stand there and look at them and they take there feet off with an attitude of course I make a point of brushing the seat before I sit down.

meandashy, what an awful experience I can't believe that none of the other passengers even bothered to get up and look for the guard, and insist that these awful people were sorted out, by the transport police if necessary. Scumbags.

Saying thank you to the bus driver is still the norm around here. And I do think that most people, young and old, are still well-mannered.

and this in a Waitrose in a market town in the south of England
So if it had been in Nettos in Blackpool it would understandable. Hilarious

I find its best to be direct yet polite and smiley when asking for feet or bags to be moved so I can sit down. I don't use sarcasm or aggression as its counter productive.
If you model good behaviour you usually get it back.

When I worked in Waitrose ( it was my 'retirement ' job) if a customer put a child on the conveyor belt , I would politely ask them to take said child off. In fact I stopped it running. I explained it was a health and safety issue. These are the same parents who allow their kids to race up and down the aisles . As for suitcases on seats . I've seen people stand rather then ask a passenger to move their case. Wimps . I ask, again politely . On my frequent trips to London I've met loads of really helpful passengers. Seats given, cases assisted off and trains and up and down stairs.

And????

Tigger..... It's not only feet on seats in buses/ trains but mothers who put large children , aged say 3or 4, into the main container part of shopping trollies Heaven knows where their feet have been and my groceries might go there next time
worst thing Ive seen though is 2 small girls... aged 2 and 3? demanding to stand and ride on the conveyor belt for paying for shopping. The father lifted them up. My husband (80) complained about hygiene and the man raised his fist to him saying ' so you hate children, then?' and this in a Waitrose in a market town in the south of England. The same man was waiting for my husband in the carpark......

I live in outer SW London and actually quite a few people do say thank you to the driver.

I don't see that it's a Brit vs non Brit thing. We have a large percentage of non Brits around here and they are just as bad at the bag-plonking thing, and at sitting in priority seats they don't need, as anybody else. And some of them are decidedly worse when it comes to pushing to get on a bus - presumably the notion of queueing is foreign to them.

Not many nationalities traditionally bother with queueing - Americans being one notable exception.

Mumofmadboys. I would have said to the Chemistry Teacher. " You have clearly left your manners at home, now if you want to discuss my Sons with me please find me a chair, and then we can begin.

OH and I were in a long queue for an event a while ago when a couple walked up and just pushed in, mid queue, in front of us. I looked at OH and we both stepped out of the queue and back in right in front of them. The people behind us did the same, and so on. They started to argue and OH gave them a quiet and firm lesson in manners. Tickled me pink.

petal why on earth did you get up, particularly as you're disabled?