Hells Bells!

Drat! But that possibly is a swear word to some. I don't use any of the euphemisms - just full blown I am afraid.

EEJit If you think getifer and youbassa are meaningless, please don't ever use them when speaking to a Glaswegian. They are local parlance for 'get to f* and you b*****d. Still chuckling to myself!

When I was a child, my parents used "Oh, carrots!" as an expletive. I live alone, so can express my feelings as I wish, but am trying to train myself not to, now that I am a proud granny. I'm creating my own version of rhyming slang, just to occupy my mind. Exotic place names like Timbuktu have their uses

Billy Connolly once did a skit on swearing. He came up with two, getifer and youbassa.

Totally meaningless but great when put together.

I say Oh Sugar too!
Eldest son's wife is called Helen and he calls her Hells - she doesn't seem to mind.

My very religious eldery aunt used to say she'd done "duck all that day". She had no idea that it was a substitute for a swear word. Bless her.

Schweppes
Biggleswade
then anything else, only if I'm alone.
DH gets very hot under the collar when a film/programme is announced as having "strong language" - "No, no, no", he shouts, "weak language - it's because they have no vocabulary"!
I'm not prudish [well, maybe I am] but i really don't like all those words used indiscriminately - Remember '4 weddings and a Funeral' beginning? DH wouldn't watch it because of the opening "F..ks"

If someone wants something I don't agree with I say Norfolk and Chance

Very good thread. I've been working on OH to choose an alternative word for use in front of GC. It hasn't worked so far so will show him these suggestions or install a swear box.
As someone else has mentioned it's the way the word is said rather than the word itself that relieves the feelings.

No harm in that anno! Have done similar when stubbed toe on exercise bike, that is simply gathering dust, in the way and I never use!

As I live alone, I do sometimes give vent to language I wouldn't want my GC to hear. For example, this morning when I saw a certain politician on TV. I told him in no uncertain terms what I wanted him to do. I leave that to your imagination.

Flipping eck
Oh my word
Goodness me
Hell's bells
DD says Seriously when the DGC don't do as they're told.
I'm enjoying this thread too. It's interesting if you ask other people to tell you what you often say. My GD told me I'm always saying A man on a galloping horse won't notice.

My son is an actor and I saw him in a play recently where he had to say that word. I nearly tutted out loud! It's a great thread and at least some of the above words may stick as an alternative. Been some colourful language on here in recent times. Don't like it. I use plonker too! Forgot about that before. Wally? That's a good un. I suppose some films wouldn't be so realistic (Guy Ritchie for example, Lock Stock etc.) without the language but most of us realise it's for poetic license and certainly not for slinging at people on this site I hope.

I agree with you breeze I hate that word and up until recently it was rarely heard in public but I have noticed it in a few films and plays. Thank you for liking this thread I am trying like mad to think up some others that get us talking and laughing not debating and arguing.

In my family home, 'ooya!' always heralded an inappropriate escape of wind, and 'flaming hellfire' was a paternal favourite. Nowadays, 'plonker', or even 'complete plonker' is usually directed at careless drivers; but I favour a very loud SOD IT when any object displeases. My OH favours 'Sheesh Kebab!'...but then he's always been a bit strange . I'm defo going to start calling the GCs 'blithering idiots' as a term of affection though!

Use Wallet....my children thought it was a real swear word....hee hee...

As there are quite a few Gordon Bennett's on here I'm reminded of my childhood home. As our neighbours were the families of Gordon's who were the neighbours of the Bennett's.

Sugar
Flipping flap
Gordon Bennett

Nice thread this. A week or so ago I popped over to the other side to see if the Mums were tearing verbal chunks out of each other re Brexit (sorry to use the B word) they were; when I noticed a thread on there that made me return here with my tail between my legs. Someone had posted a thread and it was sitting there bold as brass entitled 'C..tish behaviour' (but in full), and whilst I didn't read the post fully, it seemed to be referring to a newspaper article that had annoyed the person who had posted, something to do with second home in Norfolk or something. Those of you who have read some of my previous posts will see I've sometimes had a moan about swearing. I can swear, and I do on occasion but wouldn't dream of using it to people on here. Maybe we could do with a emoticon blowing a raspberry! might save a swear word or two! Anyway, call me old fashioned but is that allowed? Why hadn't the post been removed? I'm not all that shockable, so I won't say I was shocked but I was disappointed and disgusted. Anyway, lifted my spirits to see this thread and hope all of the above suggestions will be used instead of the alternatives! Great thread Teetime. Thanks.

Some fabulous words here! Many I already use but some I need to learn!! Indinanna - I think your boss's is my favourite! My mum always used to say Blood and Stomach pills!! ?

I am rather partial to stay me with flagons.

CHEESE AND RICE

After working on building sites (before I retired the first time) my knowledge of expletives is quite extensive and not at all ladylike enough for this forum,now being a wee bit more sedate (not too much though) "balls" comes to mind and maybe a swift count to 10 will suffice.

Sugar puffs, knickers, blooming nuts.

One of my favourites has always been God's Nightgown! which I think I got from Gone With The Wind.