Can't believe what they put themselves through

I can't imagine the agony of not being able to have a child. I'm sorry if I gave the impression I was talking about people who have genuine fertility problems.

I bet all the people who tell your daughter that having a child isn't a right have all been able to have children.

Infertility is a cruel and heart wrenching experience for people trying to conceive and the forums provide immense help and support. Please don't knock them as it is very hurtful!

It is really painful to want a baby and not be able to have one, regardless of if you already have one. I had secondary infertility after my daughter, miscarriage when she was 4 years old and then temperature taken, pillow under bottom, charts of periods etc. to get a second child but it was four years later when we went for fertility medication (Clomid) that I found out that a motor bike ride, half a cider and a romp in a field had brought me the lanky 6ft 4in son I now have! I'm a cheap date, lol.

Those of us who are lucky, never stop to think about those who are not so fortunate, so it is good to have a story like this which pulls us up and makes us think. So many of us take it for granted that we will get married and have a family (that is a choice these days), but there are those, like the stories above who do not naturally conceive, that is so sad and even more so when IVF also fails. for all those in that position.

Thank you Indinana. I would like to say the most upsetting remark my daughter hears is - having a baby is not a right, if it doesn't happen it has to be accepted . She has never thought of it as a right . What is difficult is having twelve cousins all very close and ten have children , but she is thrilled with each birth and never misses a baptism . She has three dogs, three cats and two acres of garden , these help her so much

I am so sorry for your daughters friend , it is such an ache

Anniebach and for your DD. I can only guess at how desperately sad she must feel as one after another IVF round fails . A friend of my DD's has been in a similar situation. She has diabetes and it seems this gets in the way of her IVF attempts being successful. She and my DD had the embryo transfer on successive days, and they tested on the same day two weeks later, both positive. Then 7 weeks later she miscarried, and she has miscarried 4 or 5 times since. She and my DD had so been hoping to go through pregnancy together, and they had dreams of going out with their babies together, but it wasn't to be. Today is GD's first birthday and I know DD thinks of her friend and how she should have been celebrating around now too. I don't know how people cope with so much disappointment.

So sorry for your DD Anniebach, but 15 attempts at IVF must be soul destroying
We had a friend who had a lot of IVF, unfortunately she never conceived and ultimately died of ovarian cancer. Life is cruel for some.

We tried for eleven years and went privately down the IVF route to no avail. Six months later After having had years of messing about I had an ectopic pregnancy. I lost the baby, an ovary and a fallopian tube.

I stopped seeing doctors and put my energies into other things. I decided if I couldn't have children, I would have something to show for working hard, so we started doing things in the house, and I bred a littler of puppies from my Cocker Spaniel bitch. The day she gave birth I found out I was having a baby.

Long story short, I was firing on the wrong side previously with the dodgy tube, but now I was raring to go and had three children one after the other.

Everyone has a story and that story is important.

Well if there is no known medical problem it seems barmy to go through all this faff - what's wrong with behind the bike sheds - worked for lots of people!

Thank you Katek, my daughter has natural killer cells ,

Ds/dil tried for 4 years and finally conceived on second round of IVF. Nine months after dgs was born she conceived naturally, but sadly had a miscarriage. Two months after that, however, she was pregnant again! We now have two beautiful dgs. I do think that stress plays a part unless there is a medical condition involved. So sorry to hear about your daughter anniebach

Very good point Vampire, I agree too.
" ...let nature take its course " - yes, but still very disappointing for those who couldn't get pregnant. Someone I worked with and his wife tried for some years, no success. They divorced, both remarried, had children with their new partners.

Vampire I think you are exactly right, everything done by the book!

My daughter has a medical problem , nothing to do with stress

I don't think the OP is talking about couples with known problems. The vast majority of couples are fortunate and conceive naturally.

I think it's part of the way people these days plan every aspect of their lives. Job..tick, house...tick, holdays...tick, have baby...oh dear. When we decided we wanted a baby we let nature take it's course.

My experience wasn't quite so distressing, but I tried 5 years unsuccessfully to get pregnant, resulting in two miscarriages. However once I'd given up, reluctantly, and taken my eye off the ball, so to speak - bingo! I found myself unexpectedly pregnant with dd.

I think stress does play a part.

My best friend's mother became pregnant with my friend after having adopted another child, thinking she'd never have one naturally. Weird.

Heartbreaking anniebach for you as well as her. Nature can be very cruel.
But goose happy for you all, best wishes for the pregnancies and babies

My daughter has been through all that, had a fifteenth IVF attempt this year and has just suffered a seventh confirmed miscarriage , so I cannot agree trying to get pregnant no matter what method is rubbish,