I can't tell you all how nice it is to be on here

nonnie I too have been dealing with some pretty rough stuff this last 3 weeks which has left me reeling. I can't talk about it either but when I reached a total low point, compounded by a perfect storm of family problems, I posted on the 'can't sleep' thread and got some lovely supportive feedback which helped me get myself together a bit. There are some people on here who, despite (or maybe because of) their own pain, are very kind.

And GandTea made me laugh in spite of myself!

It could be worth trying St John's Wort.

I've found it a big help for mild depression and help to cope with some very stressful life events.

Peep I agree. I take anti depressants and have increased the dose since my dad died due to not wanting to crash as I have a very bad time when that happens and I have found that they are keeping me on an even keel at the moment, even though I do get upset from time to time, obviously, but not the deep dark depression which I have suffered from in the past.

Nonnie Tricks of the trade are to buy yourself or watch on youtube, things which will lighten your mood, things which you get comfort from (I watch old 70's sitcoms or 80's programmes), watch a comedian, listen to some music which does not remind you of anyone, find some new music for yourself, edit the programmes you watch on tele (I took out the news and now do red button at night to catch up), buy some "indoor clothes" which are slightly more being dressed than bed wear but not going out clothes, like a lounge suit etc., get a dog and take it for walks, or a rescue dog.

Also on youtube there are lots of motivational speakers, along with people who have suffered with depression, a lot of them only young people. Look these up maybe, get some positive thinking going on. Buy a Chicken Soup for the Soul book, or some poems. Go swimming, gentle exercise. Eat well, rest plenty, laugh often. And if you feel like crying then do so but don't feel guilty, just do it and enjoy the release it gives you. But try to laugh as much in a day, or smile at least. Smile at passers by. Hug whoever you can. If you don't have anyone to hug, book a massage, the body contact will be wonderful for you. And I might help the mind and the sleep. If you don't want a dog, buy a budgie, wonderful pets, and will keep you entertained and a reason to get up.

Yes this site is wonderful, I'd have been lost without it these last few years. Everyone is lovely, well, nearly but they know who they are!

Let us know when you are going to the doctors, you won't get away from us now, we care too much about each other.

to you Nonnie.

Nonnie and others going through the mill, as others have said hang on in there and do whatever it takes. You learn to accommodate things, you can never get over some things. When I was having a hard time I was still working and I had some colleagues I could off load to and it really helped as they were outside where the problem was. DH and I had some close friends who were just brilliant and listened and were sympathetic. If it takes medication so be it. Be kind to yourself and accept help.??

peep good to know. There are lots of grans on here that are so supportive, it's good isn't it?

I've been 'lurking' for a couple of months and have found GN really, really helpful. I do have one ask though, as I live with chronic long term depression it can be very hard hearing, or seeing, the words "I won't take antidepressants/tablets though". For some of us that is what keeps us "here". Nobody would expect a diabetic not to take insulin, or a cancer sufferer not to have chemotherapy, both chemicals of some sort the same as antidepressants are. All are not taken lightly, but are necessary at the right time.

Good luck to all of you feeling down, and sometimes nearly out, GN is such a help.

I hope things improve Nonny like you I just can't face going down the taking tablets route. It'll be a last resort for me. It's hard carrying all this emotional baggage. At times it just spills over and a quick outpouring on here often helps me. it's hard, it's exhausting and mostly unfair. I wish I had a magic wand. I have a friend who cleans and keeps busy. I wish I was like her but I'm more the I'll sit here and brood type. Wish I could change.

Nonnie I went through a very traumatic time couple of years ago I had a few sessions of hypnotherapy and was encouraged to try mindfulness which I do find helps hope you get some help I am on another forum and between that and gransnet have realised that we can come through things which at the time appears insurmountable take care x

Very kind thoughts to Nonnie and all who have sadness in their lives - I too went through a very troubling period a while ago but things sometimes have a way of easing, whether by itself or with help. Hope you will be feeling better very soon.

On radio four just now about women supporting each other like on GN

Nonnie - sorry to hear you are feeling low. I do sympathise because I have been through some pretty awful shit over the last 9 or 10 months,so I understand what you mean when you say you cry at the drop of the hat,as sometimes the slightest little thing can set me off. for you.

My pleasure Nonnie....Im speaking from experience too. Keep Strong and
Ever Hopeful.

Bez1989

Thanks you x

NONNIE. I believe the tears can be a way of healing. Theyre an expression of your feelings and I believe feelings are the true
self. Sorry Im having difficulty expressing myself at the mo ! May I suggest you seriously consider finding a reliable counsellor who will be non-judgemental and will allow you to talk, cry, scream if you need to. All in a safe environment.
Look for the website British Association of Counsellors and there is another one which Im sure Mr Google will find. There you can find someone in your location who is fully trained and sometimes specialising in your particular problem. Everything is completely confidential. Phone one first to see if you feel they are right for you. There is no obligation to go to anyone who doesnt "feel right" for you. Good Luck. Sometimes we cant heal ourselves without help from someone completely outside of family and friends. Be prepared to pay a fee, it will be declared on the individuals profile page. Money well spent though.

I do, and I will, and I am going to.

Today I feel better. Maybe it's because I admitted to myself (on here) that something is wrong.

One route I will not go down is taking tablets. I'll explore other possibilities.

The human condition is a strange one. I am not one of those 'stiff upper lip' types. Mine wobbles a lot

cherrytree thinking of you and hoping for a good outcome.
nonnie well done for making the decision to go to the doctors.

Gransnet is a great place to have a natter, to offload and share things that otherwise might not get an airing - and to reflect on other people's lives and circumstances that are different from (or maybe similar to ) our own. I think it operates like any other 'real life' community except people are perhaps more open on here than they would be if talking face to face. I thoroughly enjoy being a part of it.

Keep your chin up Nonnie, and cry if you feel like it, it is nature's healer and the perfect way to let off steam. Some years ago in a frightful on going situation with so much stress that I was having panic attacks,feeling pins and needles in my scalp and all the other horrible symptoms like breathlessness, I did find that a good weep and howl in my bedroom left me feeling calmer and often a little more optimistic about the future. (The only problem being that it took my face about a week to recover - happens after forty I found!) The one sure thing about life is that, good or bad, nothing lasts forever. What's that old phrase...? 'This too shall pass, as all things pass'. xx

Someone pointed out the other day that Facebook is like the water cooler at work. Somewhere to 'pastime' about daily events, to get news of what colleagues are doing. Now I'm not working this is how I use it - bits of chat as well as more profound news. Don't feel so bad now about the time I (don't) waste on it. GN the same.

Nonnie I hope you are able to take comfort and strength from all these messages of support. There was a period in my life where I seemed to lurch from one calamity to another and instead of digging myself out of a hole, I was just digging it deeper. I had some counselling through my local surgery during which I told him about my childhood imaginary friend. We had quite a discussion about this and he suggested I 'talk' to her again. No way, I thought, I'm a grown-up now. But one day I did. And had a eureka moment ...

I'm not suggesting you start talking to someone who's not there but do please talk to someone. Speaking your innermost thoughts aloud and realising the sky hasn't fallen in as a result, can help you file them in the right pigeon hole so you can get on with the rest of your life. Love and hugs.

Nonnie1 - whatever happened last year has obviously had a great impact on your life and you also say that you are unable to communicate it on here. I hope you have had the opportunity to verbalise the event with someone not involved in it. It sounds from what you are saying you feel it would help. There are people out there that will do nothing except listen to you - perhaps try the Samaritans or some such organisations - they do not judge.

Nonnie1, I hope that your doctor can help you to heal and be happier in your life. I'm so sorry that you're struggling. So many of us can relate to how you're feeling. I can personally recommend seeing a counsellor. I'm not sure how it all works, but I do know that being able to offload and literally being able to tell someone everything that's troubling you, is very healing.

I started off this year with a trauma. I was in a terrible state for several months, (posted here about it), and everywhere I went was bursting in to tears. You are allowed to be emotional, and as my counsellor says, who cares what people think, we're only human. My counsellor is great and I'm so glad that I'm seeing her. We even had a good laugh together this week.

All problems differ, but talking about them to someone you trust is so good for you. Enjoy your weekend and best wishes to you.

nonnie I think you are right in going to see your doc. Hopefully he/she will be able to help you.

Sometimes it's just too nice interesting to be on here. Thats's what makes it easier to stay sitting here rather than getting on with what must be done. (In my case go to an open-to-the-elements theatre and watch Shakespeare. though I'm sure it will be lovely.

Nonnie,I am sad to hear of your problems and would like to offer a small tip that has helped me through some tough times.Take a scrap of paper or a notebook and write down exactly what you are feeling every morning and/or evening.Just as though you were talking to a trusted friend.It doesn't matter if you keep it squirrelled away or rip it up and dispose of it immediately.The act of writing it down helps you to work through your feelings and get things straight in your mind.
Over time,you might find that you look forward to doing this and it really helped for me.Worth a try?