I can't tell you all how nice it is to be on here

Nonnie have sent you a PM.

Nonnie keep posting if it helps to talk. I can empathise, since having my shock diagnosis last year, I have had great support on here. It helps to talk to people other than family, you become concerned that you are burdening them.

Nonnie, I have read some of your posts and it touches me that through your bad times you care for others. Otherwise you wouldn't contribute to comment on their woes. You sound as though you have people all around, but no one to talk to. Either a betrayal, personal bereavement, or a health problem you feel you can't burden your loved ones with. So good that you find comfort in talking to others on the site, where you can let off steam. Sometimes your opinions will be shot down in flames! Sometimes gratefully received. You are contributing, no matter what. I hope whatever your woes are, in time, all will be better. Chat away! Chat away!

Nonnie, it's so difficult to stop those unwanted memories popping up, and if keeping yourself busy on GN helps, that's great. And if you're helping keep us lot distracted at the same time, so much the better. What's the point of housework anyway?

I hope those bad memories get crowded out soon by all the good ones.

Nonnie - I do not think there is any virtue in trying to get better by yourself - it might help to talk it over with a counsellor - it does not mean you are weak - just human like the rest of us. We cannot always heal ourselves, but we are part of the human family and sharing the burden is what we do. Good to hear that there are people around at home with you.

Yes Nonnie1 I think it's completely normal that you can become overwhelmed at any moment. That's the embarrassing thing, you never know when something will flick the switch and set you off but I do think it's normal. I prefer to have a good cry and destress rather than taking antidepressants/anxiety pills. To me this is the normal way of dealing with my feelings and I have had some counselling but in reality, somethings you never get over, you learn to cope and to manage them everyday. For me it's early days, two years is no time at all to get over a trauma, so I take each day at a time and if I'm reduced to tears, so be it.

Be kind to yourself. Hugs.

I once had something I thought I couldnt share with anyone. And I am an open person.
But the problem I had, I thought I couldnt burden someone else with it.
But because it happened around bereavement, in the end I had to share, after I chose a person who I thought was best placed to tell it to, and that they were ok for me to do it.
The person concerned, and others knew I was cut up about something, so wanted me to share it.

Luckily, or perhaps because I had warned her it was not nice, or perhaps everyone is different so it didnt affect her as much, she only took it about 1/2 as bad as I thought she would, and was glad I had told her.

And it helped me immensely.

Not sure exactly what I am saying, but perhaps there is someone in your life who you could tell?

Thank you to everyone on here who has posted and to those who made contact personally.

I am going to see my doctor. I think I should have gone before now but felt ok.

I don't always feel like this, but it comes and goes, and I have found that it starts with bad news either something I read or heard and then I get weepy and can't break the spell.

I hope my post perhaps helped anyone else who is feeling isolated or has something on their mind.

Bless you all x

Nonnie This is a safe place to vent as nobody knows you if you are discrete and it certainly helps to distract us from the real world.
At some point, however, we do have to re-engage with the real world and it is necessary to work out how to do it successfully. Counselling or just talking therapy can be very helpful as even hearing yourself talking about what happened can crystallise everything for you and often quite suddenly you just know how to deal with it and how you can move forward. It is possible that like so many others of us there are some things which just never go away and we have to work out how we can learn to live with it. Learning to recognise the triggers is one of those ways and it sounds as if you have already started identifying those.
So glad that you are going to see your doctor. (((hugs))) and coming your way!

Glad to have found this kind safe place.

Bbbevan, ?? I do that sometimes with Hoover, near the front door so even the postman can see!

nonnie1

Nonnie, don't let the buggers get you down! - we may not always all see eye to eye, but I reply to many of the comments, queries etc - it's a great site and one of its great points is that anyone can let off steam on any topic relevant to our advanced age group! We've all been through ghastly life experiences and when you are ready to talk, will at least sympathise and share our viewpoint - nothing new under the sun! Keep your chin up and if you feel like a good old sob, make a cuppa or pour a glass of wine and open the biggest bar of chocolate you can find, sit comfortably, if you can borrow a cat or dog to pet (very therapeutic!) put on some music and have a therapeutic howl! Good luck.

Dear Nonnie1, I am always surprised at how many people are going through or have gone through really bad times - either through loss of a loved one - divorce - or redundancy - and how this impacts on our mental health. I know how you feel and what it's like to be unable to stop the tears when something reminds us of a loved one or things get too much to bear. I am so pleased you are seeking help and really hope this helps. I found walking with a friend good therapy for me - and I discovered that my friend had a problem that she wanted to share. Do try and get out and meet people when you feel ready. Good luck

Oh how I sympathise, Nonnie1. And if was all caused by the family, then it is even harder to unburden yourself. I blog all my frustrations [to myself]. It really helps to "shout".
And as for crying, it ambushes you at the most inconvenient times. lots of love and support from here...
But, it does sound like you are depressed, so you need to get help - CBT, pills, or whatever. Lots of bright light sun or otherwise, food and exercise are also helpful.
Hope things improve and you see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. (((hugs)))

Virtual friends are different, aren't they. I was on a site run by a commercial company where we all got to be very virtually friendly and chatted away for years. Then they pulled the plug on the site - how sad was that. I can understand how it helps you

Have you considered therapy? Sometimes just talking to a stranger helps, and of course it is confidential so you feel safe discussing anything. And they are highly experienced so can offer solutions and different ways to think. You have depression, and if it is not helped, may get worse. Often medication helps but does not treat the root cause of depression.. Just some thoughts for you to ponder.

I think a number of us will relate to your situation Nonnie1. I know there are things I don't reveal here and find it hard to talk about. A good counsellor can help just by listening to you and helping you to sort out your feelings. I do hope that by coming to us and writing about what sounds like a big black hole that you can't forget or dissipate you have begun a process of healing.

Nonnie,I am sad to hear of your problems and would like to offer a small tip that has helped me through some tough times.Take a scrap of paper or a notebook and write down exactly what you are feeling every morning and/or evening.Just as though you were talking to a trusted friend.It doesn't matter if you keep it squirrelled away or rip it up and dispose of it immediately.The act of writing it down helps you to work through your feelings and get things straight in your mind.
Over time,you might find that you look forward to doing this and it really helped for me.Worth a try?

Sometimes it's just too nice interesting to be on here. Thats's what makes it easier to stay sitting here rather than getting on with what must be done. (In my case go to an open-to-the-elements theatre and watch Shakespeare. though I'm sure it will be lovely.

nonnie I think you are right in going to see your doc. Hopefully he/she will be able to help you.

Nonnie1, I hope that your doctor can help you to heal and be happier in your life. I'm so sorry that you're struggling. So many of us can relate to how you're feeling. I can personally recommend seeing a counsellor. I'm not sure how it all works, but I do know that being able to offload and literally being able to tell someone everything that's troubling you, is very healing.

I started off this year with a trauma. I was in a terrible state for several months, (posted here about it), and everywhere I went was bursting in to tears. You are allowed to be emotional, and as my counsellor says, who cares what people think, we're only human. My counsellor is great and I'm so glad that I'm seeing her. We even had a good laugh together this week.

All problems differ, but talking about them to someone you trust is so good for you. Enjoy your weekend and best wishes to you.

Nonnie1 - whatever happened last year has obviously had a great impact on your life and you also say that you are unable to communicate it on here. I hope you have had the opportunity to verbalise the event with someone not involved in it. It sounds from what you are saying you feel it would help. There are people out there that will do nothing except listen to you - perhaps try the Samaritans or some such organisations - they do not judge.

Nonnie I hope you are able to take comfort and strength from all these messages of support. There was a period in my life where I seemed to lurch from one calamity to another and instead of digging myself out of a hole, I was just digging it deeper. I had some counselling through my local surgery during which I told him about my childhood imaginary friend. We had quite a discussion about this and he suggested I 'talk' to her again. No way, I thought, I'm a grown-up now. But one day I did. And had a eureka moment ...

I'm not suggesting you start talking to someone who's not there but do please talk to someone. Speaking your innermost thoughts aloud and realising the sky hasn't fallen in as a result, can help you file them in the right pigeon hole so you can get on with the rest of your life. Love and hugs.

Someone pointed out the other day that Facebook is like the water cooler at work. Somewhere to 'pastime' about daily events, to get news of what colleagues are doing. Now I'm not working this is how I use it - bits of chat as well as more profound news. Don't feel so bad now about the time I (don't) waste on it. GN the same.