Need Advice

If money is not a problem for your DS and DIL then I would quietly set about finding them a choice of places to rent for the duration of their time until they move away. If money is a problem for them I suggest that you seriously consider what it is worth to you to subsidise or pay the rent for them. The current situation is not conducive to peace and it could all blow up to something irretrievable which would be devastating with a new grandchild on the way. It is not your place to choose somewhere for them to stay or whether they keep the deranged cat either so I wouldn't be too keen to give my opinion to them. Be very careful and keep the peace as much as you can.
I wonder what is your DH's position on all this and how did you come to an agreement to take them in and also their cat?

As Cato the Elder nearly put it, "delenda est feles".

Could you buy a very large dog crate to keep the cat in for part of the time. If you cover it with a sheet it will make it a 'den' for the cat and it might start to regard it as a sanctuary.You could then let it out at times when the dogs are safely contained in another room [or out walking]. Also use the Feliway [sp]plug in as suggested. Only problem with a crate would be where to put the litter tray,as it probably wouldn't want to use it in it's 'living area'.

Rosabella, please don't let jingle drive you away. She's been around so long that most of us just don't take her seriously. Hope you get your cat problem sorted out without any further bodily harm. I have come across 'unpredictable' cats in my time. I agree that his ill temper stems from his not being able to roam as cats naturally do. Sadly, some cats are not cuddly and never will be. Is he a neutered tom?

I feel like that about my DD's (weekend use only) bedroom moobox.

I would say that if you get them to buy a cheap wardrobe, it shows them in a polite way how the current situation with it won't do.

My mum and dad once had their DD, SIL, grandkids, their clutter, AND their maid move into her spare rooms. I know it sounds ridiculous but they had lived in a country where you have maids, and had brought her with them out of kindness, as her employment was keeping her family in the Philippines going. The silly thing is that my mother is very house proud and couldn't cope with the maid doing anything, nor the thought of clutter even behind a closed bedroom door.

After a few weeks, a local short term holiday let on a longer term deal was the answer for them, until they sorted their life out and moved away again. The maid was employed by them for a while afterwards, but is now happily married to an English postman, complete with family of their own.

Don't quit the forum Rosabella. Sometimes some people have a viewpoint which Is in conflict with ours. Just forget it and read all the positive messages you have received.

You asked for advice, some of which you might disagree with. That's what advice is.

We have taken in our sons dog as it was not getting on well with new baby, feeling left out I think as dog was my sons before partner and baby. That was in January, meant for it to be for a few weeks! I feel as though we are doing our bit as they live 150 miles away so cannot do as much grandparenting as we would like. Son keeps saying shall we have her back, but I think baby is much more important right now, and dog is settled here. Your son may think that if the cat settles, you may want to keep it if they live abroad at some point. Maybe a night out for you all, in a neutral place so you can discuss any difficulties and how you can all overcome them. Your son and DIL are lucky to have really kind parents who will take them in. Shows how nice and caring you are. Hope they appreciate you in other ways.

Your house, your rules, agree with Aggie. I lived with MIL when first met DH and it was always difficult and stressful. I have been a "cat person" all my life, although love dogs to bits and if circumstances allowed us to have pets, would not hesitate to have both a dog and a cat. My first cat as a kid, a pedigree Persian, was one of the nastiest anti-social creatures you could ever meet, but I adored her! Cats are wild animals, can't be trained, want to feel in charge and know they rule their pet humans. What are DS and DIL going to do about said feline when they go abrad? - if thy are going to take it with them, suggest temporary cattery, if not now is the time for them to approach cats' rescue with a view to finding it permanent loving home.

Agree with Aggie. Your house, your rules! If not acceptable then find somewhere else to live.

In my experience stressed cats start to mark their territory by urinating on the carpet. Regardless of male or female and regardless of whether they have been neutered. The smell is horrendous and very difficult to get rid of.

I would hate having a litter tray for someones else's house cat too. I love cats-we have two and they come and go through the cat flaps as they please.Litter trays only if they have to be confined to the house for some reason. Yuck.Its not a natural life for an animal so no wonder its edgy .
I doubt the cat will adapt well to a baby.My beloved cat sudennly started swiping at our three-year without provocation and had to go and live with my inlaws.He did die not long after so it may be illnes/age made him intolerant

I think they need to rehome it and your DIL needs to put her expected baby first .But appreciate its hard for you to suggest!

We had him for another four years

Until a couple of weeks ago we had a rescue cat which came to my daughter when he was nine. He was a scratchy bitey indoor cat but gradually calmed down though was still inclined to lash out sometimes when he came to us aged eleven. He was allowed out and soon got used to it loving his freedom and eventually went from being quite standoffish to being a real lap cat and very affectionate. You can teach an old cat new tricks with calm and patience, fear and picking up on the owners and other people's tension seems to be the problem here. One thing is sure, you won't be able to put up with this until next year without falling out.

the cat has to go! its not fair on you or your dogs to put up with it... its your home so your rules...sounds like the cat has behavioural issues behaving like it does and it will only get worse...

I think pets that attack people should be put down. When our gander got so aggressive that Minibags's friends didn't want to play in the garden, even though he was behind an electrified net fence, we ate him.

He was a traumatised animal. Not his fault. Long story. But I just don't think you should have aggressive animals in people's houses or gardens, and especially not if there are kids around. It's asking for trouble.

Why do you store your clothes in a separate bedroom from the one you sleep in? Walk in dressing room?
Why did you put your guests in there instead of in the spare room?
Why don't you move your clothes? Isn't it a bit rude, even in your own house, to be wanting to go in someone else's bedroom for your clothes all the time?
It's possible to survive without a wardrobe and with just a clothes rail. I know because I have done that for the last ten years.

I agree with the comments about moving the clothes out of the closet or you could try making the spare room a safe zone for the poor cat which must be terrified. If you can get it in there give it a box with bedding which it can hide in, a litter tray (presumably an indoor cat which is using one already), food and water and definitely keep the dogs away from that room. It also needs some playtime to tire it out each day. I have an aggressive cat - only last night she chased my other one under the bed as he tried to hide and I ended up dripping blood on the floor from a scratched leg as I accidentally got between them. The cat will also pick up on the tension it's causing which won't help. It's not an ideal situation but hopefully only temporary for not too long so keeping the peace between you all is important in the long run. I'm sure by the time the baby comes everything will have calmed down but a baby net will help. Good luck!

Leave the cat where it is , get some Feliway to calm the cat down. The idea of getting somewhere to hang your clothes elsewhere is a good one . I have had cats all my life and usually there is a reason why they are aggressive . The poor cat is terrified hence hiding in the wardrobe . Try not to make too much of the situation if this is just temporary , it will cause bad feeling which may not be able to be put right . It is a difficult situation for you but nothing is insurmountable with a bit of give and take on both sides .

I gave you really good advice OP. (Get a cheap wardrobe (I even linked to a thirtynine quid one!) Put them, the cat and the wardrobe in the large spare room.)

You totally ignored me. Rude.

What is the story behind this cat? How long have they had it, how did it come into their life?

You could try suggesting that it is cruel to the cat to be around 3 dogs. They might have a friend who could keep the cat for a while. If not suggest they put the cat in a cattery. It sounds like a hard to love cat. Perhaps they might warm to the idea of rehoming the cat. A neorotic cat and newborn baby could be a very risky situation.

I do not think it's a safe place to express myself

Poor cat
It must be scared stiff

Rosabella To be honest I would also feel you should tell your son and daughter they need to rehome the cat,or put it in kennels, while they are looking for a new home.
A distressed cat is probably scared stiff by the doggy smells about the house even before they are introduced

I can see this all ending in disaster with an almighty falling out between you and your "lodgers".

If Jinglebellsfrocks feels this way and I quote:-
"Oh. You've said they're small. Release them all and let them fight it out?"

and to quote jinglebellsfrocks

"I think I will get off this thread. I am having a little difficulty in taking it seriously anymore."

Then I will be the one to leave this forum because I do not think it's a safe place to express myself. What I don't need right now is someone telling me that they cannot take my concern seriously.

Thank you, to those who have given me positive advice.

I think chocolatepudding makes an excellent point. What are the plans for the cat when they go abroad? I feel sorry for everyone, but the cat needs a settled environment and it doesn't sound like that's on the horizon any time soon.