Soop's Kindly Kitcheners

Dustyangel Not seen yellow or orange Welsh poppies before, where do you live?

Up here in Cheshire they are rife in gardens. They are very pretty but seed prolifically and are very hard to dig up. The roots go down very deep. There are worse things though.

Why do I always come on GN when everyone else has gone to bed. And no one was about to talk to at 4am this morning when I was awake.

I first saw yellow Welsh poppies in the Lake District, near Grasmere

These Welsh poppies do seem to me to be spreading about more than they did 20 yrs or so ago.

GandT I have just read your post and send my good wishes. I myself am currently very depressed but do not have depression which I think is a different thing.
I have posted before on another thread about a friend of very long standing who has not been very understanding about anyone else's problems since she and her H went up in the world considerably both financially and socially . It was very hurtful at the time but like all thing it passes. I see her occaisionally when she can spare the time in between long haul holidays and her new friends.
They have just come back from another short break and she rang me last night and verbally attacked me for not making an effort to see her, for not inviting her to my home to which she no longer feels welcome and for generally not being a friend !!!
I have been alternating all night between fuming and being upset.
Her H and mine were great friends and played squash every week, golf, but at different clubs and went out for a drink every Friday for years. He has not once been to see my H and doesn't even ask about him.
She is coming for coffee tomorrow at my insistence and I don't know yet how I will be.
I am sorry to once again be the one to bring the mood down but I needed to get it out. My other friends are also her friends and I wouldn't say any of this to them.

I suggest you are honest with her and say life has been very difficult for you and you have felt down and miserable. She then has a chance to be a good friend to you and if she doesn't respond perhaps her friendship is not worth having. Hope you feel a bit brighter soon Ann.

Goodness, ann, what a difficult 'friend'. I wonder if your friend's changed lifestyle is actually as comfortable as she projects? She may need you but just doesn't know how to ask kindly? Also how close a friend she has ever been? I do hope she can be supportive to you but wonder if she knows how. You are being both brave and kind in inviting her. Please don't let her distress you, I hope your coffee is reasonably comfortable but of course she is coming to your home and you don't have to tolerate rudeness there, or indeed anywhere. Take care g&t, hope this recurrence is of short duration, it's a difficult illness to manage sometimes. Sometimes the snakes in the snakes and ladders that is life surprise us, wishing everyone a good supply of ladders .

"With "friends" like that" annsixty, as the saying goes "...."
You could laugh it off showing her that you at least have retained a sense of proportion and perhaps when she sees what you have to cope with she will be suitably ashamed.

If not, then however sad it is to lose a friend (and she sounds like she really doesn't deserve the title) you must write them out of your life.
(They sound totally selfish to me , so no loss)

Agree with mumofmadboys. It would be so good if you could discuss how you feel with this friend. It needs to come out. All the best ann. Thank goodness you are still posting!

Good Morning All !

I love the yellow poppies. My lone red one has now dropped its petals, so I'm glad I took a picture when I could. I shall keep an eye out for Welsh poppies for next year.

Your poppies look lovely Dusty I love a natural look too. Grampy struggles with that sort of thing ( he likes tidy rows lol).

Charley so the cat flap saga continues ---its like a series...I'm enjoying the next instalment !!

Daphne good news !!!!

Sorry to hear that Gandtea , hope your dark cloud passes soon .

Ann your friend doesn't sound like one you need in your life. I am a firm believer in some people being toxic - its not really their fault . They just aren't good for us. She sounds like that. The other thing perhaps to remember is not everyone stays in your life forever, some friends come and then go and that's fine. True friends stick around. I hope your coffee morning goes well, but if not , then you don't need that in your life I suspect.

One spot of good news for me...we had our house valued yesterday and we had been working off selling at a much lower figure. So it would be good to sell at the higher one. It feels a bit real now , and whilst I'm sure its right for us it will be taking us further away from our little ones.

That's going to take some getting used to but we really feel its now or never. I'm sure it will take a while to come to fruition so hopefully everyone will be used to the idea by then.

Hope the sun shines on you all today x

Don't go for long GandTea lots of GN friends here to help.
Flipping eck ann I'm sure you could do without this upset, a true friend wouldn't do this to you. Try not to let her get to you, her loss. Show her the door if she keeps on.

GandTea Come back soon, you will be missed.
DaphneB Nice to see you hope life is a bit easier at the moment for you and dh.
Annsixty When your 'friend' comes for coffee,I'm sure she will be suitably ashamed of herself when you explain your situation. If not, then you are better off without her as she is making you feel angry and upset, and you have enough to deal with!

I'm another who is down at the moment and not feeling very chatty. So I too am taking myself off.

for everyone x

Lona the fact is my friend knows exactly what my situation is, she chooses to put herself first. Her BiL has vascular dementia and she was as unsympathetic towards her S as she is to me. It is something we should cope with.

Not you too Lona - not something I said I hope
You will need us to find the kettle to help you settle into your new home ??

Annsixty She does sound toxic. I would suggest you reduce contact if she makes you feel worse.
You are struggling on as a carer and you do your best to keep cheerful. That in itself is difficult to do.(((hugs)))

A lot of us needing a pick me up, we might have to have cake today, think I'll use up the ripe bananas and make some healthy banana bread for everyone.

I just popped in to say a huge thank you to the ever wonderful soop and see we have a new member of the kitchen but have 3 fed-uppy ones (as DS1 used to say when he was feeling 'blue').

GandTea, I've pm'ed you but agree with everyone else, if you must go, come back soon but we will miss you and wish you well.

Ann, I agree with everyone else - that woman isn't really a friend so don't take any nonsense off her!!

Lona, I wondered how you were as you haven't been posting much. This period is bound to be very emotional for you but you are entering a new phase which will hopefully be calmer and less traumatic than the past few years have been. And, think of coffee, hot chocolate, on that balcony!

Great news N&G, I hope that makes you feel more positive about your move.

We are supposed to be going to Barnsdale today to get ideas for our newly granite chipped front garden. The plan was to have a nice lunch at a lovely pub near Rutland Water and then a gentle stroll round the planting. The sky keeps clouding over so it looks as though it will be a quick dash round the gardens and a meal in the village pub. Not quite what I was hoping for but never mind!

Is that cake ready yet Nana3? I think you are right - we all need a pick me up. I'll put the kettle on.

The manager from the window company rang me at 8am today. He said that the fellow who was supposed to come yesterday tried to ring me but there was no signal. I did not realise I was living in the middle of the North sea. He would be here before 9.30am.

Our watches were obviously not synched but he arrived at 11.15am and spent 5 minutes in his van chatting to a mate so the signal has miraculously returned. It took him 3 minutes so Tara should have an easier life now. A day and a half wasted- but what the heck- I have paid all money owed, I am a woman and am elderly- it really does not matter.

I will have a similar problem next Wednesday when a 2 man team come to change the sealant on every window inside and out. That will be another day wasted. Silly me thought that one man could do it.

N&G that is excellent news you have been told that your house is worth more than you expected.

ann that woman is not a friend if that is the way she carries on- me, me me is her only interest.

I am not a fan of the ladies matches so I will only be watching a little tennis today.

Tomorrow is more exciting- Andy against Jo Wilfred Tsonga and of course Wales playing Portugal in the evening. I have forgotten who Roger is up against but he will have to play tennis for once.

annsixty she doesn't sound much of a friend - you must make a fuss of her but she doesn't have to do anything for you. Is it time to call a halt?

Don't gloss over any of your problems when you see her tomorrow. Make sure that everything and everyone demonstrating what you have to deal with on a daily basis is very much in evidence, in what you say and what she can observe. Fill her in on all that has happened in your life, in detail.

Tell her exactly how you were affected by her rant about not inviting her to your home, about how you have felt unwanted since she filled her life with all these more important friends and all these long expensive trips away.

Suggest that perhaps, since the lack of welcome between you seems to hurt her almost as much as it does you, it would be better NOT to meet but to just keep the old times for their memories of your old friendship.

You may find she leaves in a huff. People who make a big deal of how badly others treat them are generally deeply offended when their own attitudes are exposed.

Daphne Of course you didnt say anything to upset me!
Kitty thanks x
My son says it's because "you are of an age!" I'll get him later!

I still haven't found those honeycomb Magnums. Perhaps they haven't found their way north. However, today, perusing the temptations at Waitrose, I happened to glimpse the chocolate ice cream and blood orange sorbet so was forced to buy it. It's delicious; that orange packs a kick, doesn't it!

First of all...a big, warm welcome to dear DaphneB Some pleasant, upbeat news for you to share with us lot. About time too. Pace yourself. Don't go running yourself ragged. And...well done!

GandTea I have also suffered from clinical depression. To have it revisit from time to time is lousy. One reason why I try to stay away from confrontation, is because such episodes involving cross words, can send me into a downward spiral. Please continue to play your ukulele. Music can be very therapeutic. We all wish you well. Hope that you feel up to returning to us in the not too distant future. I shall send you a beautiful Kintyre sky...I took the photo last night.

Bellasnana Had the wedding taken place on the west coast, I would have tried to meet with you for a blether. It's sunny here. Also, a little warmer than of late.

annsixty If you so-called friend makes you feel wretched - then my advice is - steer well clear of her. You neither need nor deserve the angst.

Wish you well G&T, I shall miss your humour, you made me chuckle and cheered me up. I hope everyone in Soops kitchen will soon be able to cheer you up and welcome you back with open arms.

Oh Soop that pic, you are soooo lucky!!!!

Hello again, Nelliem Good to have you back.

Welcome to mumofmadboys I like your name...and welcome to Nana3.

Lona I was wondering where you had gone. I knew that you hadn't moved just yet. You've a lot on your mind at the moment. Please don't stay away for too long. I think that the current political turmoil/seeming never-ending conflicts around the world (and more besides) are bound to have a negative impact for some people. I have been in the dumps for a while. Thankfully, I'm managing to cope and understand that, in spite of all the angst, there is much to be grateful for. Arm around your shoulder.

kitty thank you for your kind words. Barnsdale is very close to members of our family who live in Oakham. I am partial to pub lunches and banana bread.

Charleyg Oh boy! Your days are never without some drama or other. You really should write a blog. I actually look forward to the daily bulletin.

Elegran Wise words. I would like to think that ann will heed your suggestion. I wish that I had your ability to say whatever it is that you feel.

anno I'm about to discover what's happening at Wimbledon. I also need a good strong coffee.

Another photo of the Paps of Jura.

Here is one of last night's sky especially for you.