Dreading today.

All a bit late now but wouldn't it have made more sense to go by train? I go to quite a few concerts on my own (Billy no mates) but wouldn't dream of driving there now and use the train - I even get a taxi from a hotel to festival grounds as I've lost my car too many times in the past. I understand business meeting schedules change and the pressures of work commitments having been married to a workaholic for 45 years and to be honest my own husband would react in exactly the same way but he doesn't have the health issues. Good luck on finding a hotel and enjoy Bruce if you do get there.

I think that's a really good post Lucky.

Apologies if that all sounded a bit blunt, but I really think he could do this by himself! I do not manipulate my OH into going places or doing things he does not want to do; and I do not think you should feel pressured into this.

Grannies of the world unite!

OK - I know this is hard, but I would simply say that you are not going. There is nothing good about all this for you - you don't want to hear the concert, you don't want to do the journey, so why should you do it? My OH has not wanted to go to anything anywhere anytime for years, so I just get up off my arse and go alone. Is your OH not able to do that?

Maybe you should resist the control freakery in this one very minor way (and it IS minor) so that he starts to take your needs into account a bit. TBH I do not think he is behaving reasonably - you are a free adult and, whilst we all try to work round our spouses, you do have some right to say and do what you want.

Spend the evening with a in the comfort of your own home and listening or watching something that you will enjoy. It is not a lot to ask for!

I know that your OH has been ill and that this will initiate a guilt trip, but honestly, if he is well enough to hold down a job with important meetings, then he is well enough to go and hear a concert on his own. I know this guilt trip well as my OH is unwell and I spend my whole life making allowances for him, but, ill or not, our spouses are grown adults and we cannot pussyfoot around them all the time even if only for the sake of their self-respect.

I'm going out now, I feel as if I am abandoning you to your fate!! Please let us know how you get on.

If you decide to go, play loads of Springsteen in the car on the way so you know the words, he plays all the old favourites this tour, The River, Born to Run, Atlantic City, Thunder Road etc so you should be able to have a good time even if he is not really your cup of tea, the atmosphere is fantastic.

Although I said don't go unless you get a hotel, I really do hope you do get to go and you enjoy it. It is an experience. Good Luck.

I do drive-have driven for decades without so much as a speeding ticket-but DH doesn't let anyone drive his car. Suggested taking mine but his is more comfortable apparently and more powerful for long distance driving. ( I have a 1.6 diesel Renault Captur, auto-perfectly suitable for task) I'm not happy driving in the city but motorway and country roads are fine.

The more I write the more control freakery I see in DH. Knew it but hits home when trying to explain things to others.

I am def packing overnight bag. Still trying to get room so back to iPad and phone.

Do you drive katek? Could you share the driving? It might be that your husband will feel enlivened by the concert and more able to drive then than in the morning? Perhaps if you popped an overnight bag into the car if you were both tired you could book into a Travelodge on the journey home. Hope you enjoy it in the end and all goes safely.xx

Sorry my last post was a little sparse but I'd previously written a much longer one and then my pc froze up and I lost it!!

The last time my partner came with me to Bruce was at Coventry a couple of years ago. He wasn't feeling too good, but hadn't told me beforehand. We took hours to get out of the town (road closures and traffic chaos seem to go hand in hand with Bruce concerts) so it was a 10 hour round trip in the end just from Sheffield. Two days later he collapsed and ended up in hospital. A kittens scratch on his leg had been made much worse by all the travelling and he had to have massive doses of antibiotics. He doesn't come any more, I go with my daughter, much less stressful!!

You have my sympathy too katek and I speak as someone whose life would definitely not be complete without Bruce. I was at Manchester last week and will be at Coventry (my 7th concert) on Friday so I know a bit about the practical issues.

Firstly have you booked parking? Leaving at 2.30 with a 3.5 hour drive means you will have half and hour to park and the surrounding area to the concert will be very busy.

Secondly it takes longer than you think to get out of the concert area. It's only an hour and half drive from Manchester to my house but we didn't get home until one in the morning.

I would not go unless you can get a Travelodge booked on the route home and he promises to go sick for the meeting tomorrow.

Thanks GA....will get onto that now!

Always been that way-probably contributed to the heart attacks. He's a classic type A personality but also has major dramatic mood swings. He isn't bipolar as far as I know as his mood changes don't last long. Can you have rapid cycling bipolar?? It would explain a lot. Def trying to prove something to his father.

In fairness I have to say that my husband often has to be the one to accommodate other people's timings when it comes to arranging client meetings - no matter how much it creates difficulties for him, so we'll give your husband the benefit of the doubt there perhaps.
There are rooms to be had, tonight, in Glasgow with airbandb Katek:
www.airbnb.co.uk/s/Glasgow--United-Kingdom?checkin=01-06-2016&checkout=02-06-2016&guests=2&ss_id=omyo64eg&s_tag=4ryS_czH

Has he always been a workaholic or is it just since his heart problems? Is he trying to prove something?

Got it in one Jud!

Re the meetings issue, there is more to this than meets the eye IMO. In my working days, meetings were negotiated and arranged to suit all parties. If he had had other meetings already arranged at that time, surely he would have had to postpone these ones. Sounds like a workaholic!

Oh dear, Katek, you have my sympathy. DH hasn't recognised that he is over 70 and behaves like a teenager as far as his music goes. Luckily, DH hasn't any health problems. Has your DH been told to be 'careful'? If so, you could use that. Or, find out how much the tickets would sell for on Stubhub, would that sway him? DD went to see Adele a while ago and was sorely tempted by the £2,000 that her tickets would have sold for.

And, surely he won't be on top form for a client meeting tomorrow after all that driving etc?

Just read your post katek. Can you book a country B&B that would be a little nearer and a shorter drive?

x

I would agree that staying the night and getting up very early the next day would be the best solution. You wake refreshed and dawn is about 4.00 up in Scotland, so daylight driving.

Due to changes in circumstances it is something we have had occasion to do. Once doing a round trip to London from Birmingham and back, all before starting work at 8.30 am!

Good luck.

X

Thanks for your support everyone-I'm really feeling down/anxious about the whole thing. Re work, it's client meetings so he has to go with their requirements he says. I don't inhabit his work world so don't know if the meeting times could have been altered. I suspect that DH could have said he was on holiday for a couple of days but he wouldn't do that. Work has always taken priority.

I tried last night to book a hotel room as you suggested Alea, but there's not a room to be had in the whole of Glasgow. Presumably there are another 50.000 Springsteen fans booked in. I cancelled the one we did have a few days ago when all the work stuff kicked off. Nearest I can get would be Edinburgh west and that's over an hour's travel.

I do feel backed into a corner, DH is only thinking of his own wants/wishes here. I'd feel better if he even acknowledged/recognised the effort it will take me instead of just expecting it to all happen. He is a bit Peter Pan about some things especially music. His heart attacks happened relatively young, 52 and 53, so he's had issues about proving himself as good as the next man since then. He def pushes himself too far-caught him on Sunday carrying stack of 4 substantial garden chairs all at once. I live in dread of him taking it just one step too far. He's been very, very lucky in that he's not only survived, but survived with very few ill effects. Seems to think his meds are magic bullets that will protect him from any harm now.

KateK you're stuck between a rock and a hard place and I suspect that you'll end up going to the concert anyway, so I echo the suggestion made by Alea. Tell your husband that you'll go on the condition that you stay in a hotel tonight and leave early in the morning. If he isn't prepared to compromise then I think I would tell him to go alone and worry about him in comfort at home. Tough decision for you, I'm sorry.

This is exactly the sort of thing my ex would put us through - what's meant to be an enjoyable social event is causing you so much stress!

I hope it turns out not to be so bad

My OH is another one who does stupid things like that. I say what I think about his daft ideas and leave him to it. He tends to do the opposite of any sensible suggestions.

sort

Can someone else go with him?
Sounds like he is going to go, come what may.[I know the sor. My dad was one]. He wont be reasoned with. No point trying. He will have to take the consequences[and you get to pay unfortunately].
But I dont see that you have to go.

If you can do the drive in under 4 hours then why not still stay in the hotel and leave at crack of dawn tomorrow? A 3.5 hour drive in an afternoon may be even easier early in the morning and you could stop once well clear of Glasgow for a coffee/breakfast. Surely a meeting tomorrow will not be earlier than 9? Could it maybe even be pushed back by an hour?
That's my thinking, I really don't like long drives at night, some do, but either way I would go with him or else you would be up all night worrying.
One thought though, parking anywhere near Hampden when there's a big event could be a nightmare. Sorry to add to your woes, but he needs to take that on board too.