Dreading today.

OK - I know this is hard, but I would simply say that you are not going. There is nothing good about all this for you - you don't want to hear the concert, you don't want to do the journey, so why should you do it? My OH has not wanted to go to anything anywhere anytime for years, so I just get up off my arse and go alone. Is your OH not able to do that?

Maybe you should resist the control freakery in this one very minor way (and it IS minor) so that he starts to take your needs into account a bit. TBH I do not think he is behaving reasonably - you are a free adult and, whilst we all try to work round our spouses, you do have some right to say and do what you want.

Spend the evening with a in the comfort of your own home and listening or watching something that you will enjoy. It is not a lot to ask for!

I know that your OH has been ill and that this will initiate a guilt trip, but honestly, if he is well enough to hold down a job with important meetings, then he is well enough to go and hear a concert on his own. I know this guilt trip well as my OH is unwell and I spend my whole life making allowances for him, but, ill or not, our spouses are grown adults and we cannot pussyfoot around them all the time even if only for the sake of their self-respect.

Apologies if that all sounded a bit blunt, but I really think he could do this by himself! I do not manipulate my OH into going places or doing things he does not want to do; and I do not think you should feel pressured into this.

Grannies of the world unite!

I think that's a really good post Lucky.

All a bit late now but wouldn't it have made more sense to go by train? I go to quite a few concerts on my own (Billy no mates) but wouldn't dream of driving there now and use the train - I even get a taxi from a hotel to festival grounds as I've lost my car too many times in the past. I understand business meeting schedules change and the pressures of work commitments having been married to a workaholic for 45 years and to be honest my own husband would react in exactly the same way but he doesn't have the health issues. Good luck on finding a hotel and enjoy Bruce if you do get there.

Lindylou is right about the traffic problems. Cutting it fine, time-wise is very risky because the roads around the stadium could be gridlocked and you may not even get there in time.

I would do as Lucky suggests and give it a miss.

I'm also with lucky and others. That's what I would do. I'd say "Sorry, it's not for me". Actually, I'd have said so right at the start...gently of course

My husband also had a heart attack at 53. The medics told me I saved his life all I did was call an ambulance pronto. I don't worry about him one dot, because no amount of me worrying is gonna change what will be.

I'm sorry if this sounds unsympathetic, but obviously having been married to an A type control freak has taught me this: how to look after myself! I'd never put myself through all that stress and anxiety.

It sounds as if you'll be worried and stressed if you go and worried of you don't. Why not plump for just one discomfort (the worrying part) by not going. As someone said, at least you can worry in comfort at home.

BUT, since your DH is a bit of a control freak, maybe he likes to think that you'll worry. I'd call his bluff and tell him to go on his own because you really do not fancy it and, if he wants you to go to stuff with him in future, either let you organise it (best!) or make plans that aren't subject to so many changes because of his work.

lucky and the others are definitely taking the most sensible and assertive approach, he must do a lot on his own for work if he has a responsible job. Does he travel for that? However, only you can know if this is the right time to make a stand. if it is then go for it, if not then make ithe proess the least damaging you can for yourself. I do still know that in your shoes I would go, but we are all different and you must do what sees possible and right for you. Good luck, let us know what you decide if you can.

My SD and SSIL left their home at 2pm today for Hampden Park (big fans of Bruce)it will only take them about an hour to drive there they park a bit away and walk the rest of the way as parking is a Nightmare so be warned!!

KateK - oh, yes, a control freak. I have vast experience of those, well, one of them anyway. My guess is that he wants you to go and will make a fuss if you don't. I think you'll have to bite the bullet.

Let us know what happens, Kate, we are with you in spirit - even those who can manage without the Boss!

There are Travel Lodges at Stirling and Perth which I assume are on your route north, Kate. Good luck, whatever you decide to do. I wouldn't be in your shoes for anything.

Any chance that you could be sneaky and cancel his earlier appointments or the next morning's work? I know its underhand but could secretaries be taken into your confidence and understand the manoeuvring and necessity for it? Otherwise do as thatbags suggests. You have your own health to consider too... how are you feeling?...Could that be migraine?...Obviously you'll have to cancel...

Well, as many of you predicted I gave in, ceded, capitulated and went to the concert. It was easier that put up with Mr Grumpy although it does reinforce his thinking, I recognise that.

He managed to get clear slightly earlier than expected so we managed to leave just before 2 after I'd driven into town. Traffic was ok and we made good time until first hold up north of Dundee. Cleared that but then it all went wrong when we reached outskirts of Glasgow-horrendous tail backs, slow moving traffic-took an hour to cover around 6 miles. Eventually reached Hampden at 6.30, did route march round stadium and managed to get to our seats just as gig started.

Well, we certainly got our money's worth-3.5 hours of uninterrupted rock music. Very powerful, very professional, the fans were ecstatic but it's just not my thing. Concert finished around 10.15 and had another forced march to get to car. (I don't do walking very well between spinal issues and asthma so it was all a bit difficult for me) Took an hour to get out of car park then 3.5 hours drive home. Gone 3a.m before I got to bed.

I am exhausted, stiff, sore, ears are still fuzzy, and I'm dehydrated from drinking less than 1 pint yesterday because of travelling/toilet issue. I feel like a half shut knife. DH is falling over himself to be nice-I feel too rubbish to care! Hopefully I'll feel more like myself tomorrow.

Thanks for all the support yesterday-it helped me just knowing that I wasn't the only one who though this was a mad idea.

Great big bunch of to you all

Take it easy and be kind to yourself today.

And next time ..... 'What next time?' I hear you ask

Your a better woman than I am!! Take it easy. Milk it for all it is worth!!!

Or should I say "You're" - oops!

katek, well done - you both survived to tell the tale.
May I suggest that as Mr.KK is 'playing nice' at the moment you seize the opportunity to gently explain why he should never put you in this situation (or similar) again.

Pile it on Katek - keep him feeling grateful but guilty and remind him next time...if there is a next time.

I've just read all this and am relieved to see it has all been accomplished and you are now resting up.
I'd suggest taking the opportunity soon to tell him that you won't be doing anything like that again.
You must decide what your boundaries are, make sure he knows them and then stick to them.

Well done! Just say when you feel up to it, that that's the last time you want to be in this position, and he must think of your health as well as his own!

Hi katek. I am so pleased you got home safely. Sorry you didn't enjoy the concert, everyone has different tastes, I know. 3.5 hours of rock music is my idea of heaven, but I am a bit weird, I will be the first to admit that! Even so it takes me a couple of days to recover from a concert and you had all that extra travelling on top. I did think to myself it would be at least 3 a.m. before you got back home.

I echo the other posters, take the opportunity now to ask your husband how he feels after all that driving and his early meeting (did he make the meeting?), and make him promise to go on his own next time or at least organise it better. And I think he owes you a treat you would enjoy, a theatre trip or a decent meal, whatever you would like.

Well done, Katek. Bet you're glad that's all over.

I'm glad it's over and done with, Katek. My Dh would have gone in your place!

My older Dd and her Dh were at the concert last night! They loved it, thought Bruce was marvellous. They ended up walking to and from Hampden as the transport was so bad. That was 25,000 steps on her Fit Bit, apparently. Then they were up early this morning to catch a flight from Glasgow airport.

KateK All in all it sounds a nightmare all round for you.
A rushed journey, a noisy concert and an awfully late night and your health issues.

Make him take someone else next time.
You take it easy now and get him to take you out for dinner.