What an odd phrase or saying!

If I made a slight mistake sewing, knitting, painting or whatever I would get frustrated and want to unpick and put right the mistake but MIL would say 'a blind man on a galloping horse will never notice that!'
(not very pc these days, apologies).

Ours was a blind man in a dark passage!
My grandmother used to say of something that was a bit discoloured or stained and hadn't washed clean "Oh it's like the old woman's dishcloth," I always asked why of course and was told, "It'll dry a better colour."

Just seen refs to Charlie's dead which we always said if someones slip was showing. We also referred to our petticoats as Charlies but whether that came from the expression or the other way round I've no idea! I always understood the saying to be related to the way people closed their blinds/curtains when someone in the family died.
We also used to say 'cold hands, warm heart' and 'a rose between two thorns' if a girl sat between two boys. Wouldnt go down well today!

In response to an unbelievable story we would say, " Do you think my head buttons up the back?" or " I came up the Clyde on a banana. "

I sometimes use the expression 'Heavens to Betsy'.
I use it because it's so old fashioned so it tickles me but I've no idea where it comes from.

I have seen 'a thorn between two roses' as a comment on FB (the one in the middle being male)!
and we used to say 'Charlie's died' when your slip was showing.

Mum used to always send me 'up the wooden hills to Bedfordshire'

My nan used to say, knee high to a grasshopper, when I asked how tall she was.

We went up the wooden hill as well!
We also got told "If ifs and ands"- it finished "were pots and pans there'd be no work for tinkers" I knew it by heart but didn't know what a tinker was until I was quite old.
And "If wishes were horses beggars would ride"
Of course the one that always shut us up was "Children should be seen and not heard". Imagine trying that one on your GCs

My granny used to say a messy house was like "Annaker's midden" , which I believe was called after a Glasgow butcher ( Annaker), who threw all the unusable bits & pieces into the back yard.

My father's reply to any " What will I do?" question was always, " Do what they do in Kilmarnock".

He also saw many men about many dogs!

I can't bear people saying No problem when I'm complaining in a shop etc. I say Yes, there is one. That's why I'm here.