What an odd phrase or saying!

I can't bear people saying No problem when I'm complaining in a shop etc. I say Yes, there is one. That's why I'm here.

My granny used to say a messy house was like "Annaker's midden" , which I believe was called after a Glasgow butcher ( Annaker), who threw all the unusable bits & pieces into the back yard.

My father's reply to any " What will I do?" question was always, " Do what they do in Kilmarnock".

He also saw many men about many dogs!

We went up the wooden hill as well!
We also got told "If ifs and ands"- it finished "were pots and pans there'd be no work for tinkers" I knew it by heart but didn't know what a tinker was until I was quite old.
And "If wishes were horses beggars would ride"
Of course the one that always shut us up was "Children should be seen and not heard". Imagine trying that one on your GCs

My nan used to say, knee high to a grasshopper, when I asked how tall she was.

I have seen 'a thorn between two roses' as a comment on FB (the one in the middle being male)!
and we used to say 'Charlie's died' when your slip was showing.

Mum used to always send me 'up the wooden hills to Bedfordshire'

I sometimes use the expression 'Heavens to Betsy'.
I use it because it's so old fashioned so it tickles me but I've no idea where it comes from.

In response to an unbelievable story we would say, " Do you think my head buttons up the back?" or " I came up the Clyde on a banana. "

Just seen refs to Charlie's dead which we always said if someones slip was showing. We also referred to our petticoats as Charlies but whether that came from the expression or the other way round I've no idea! I always understood the saying to be related to the way people closed their blinds/curtains when someone in the family died.
We also used to say 'cold hands, warm heart' and 'a rose between two thorns' if a girl sat between two boys. Wouldnt go down well today!

Ours was a blind man in a dark passage!
My grandmother used to say of something that was a bit discoloured or stained and hadn't washed clean "Oh it's like the old woman's dishcloth," I always asked why of course and was told, "It'll dry a better colour."

If I made a slight mistake sewing, knitting, painting or whatever I would get frustrated and want to unpick and put right the mistake but MIL would say 'a blind man on a galloping horse will never notice that!'
(not very pc these days, apologies).

sunseeker, there are a couple of versions of your DH's Avon saying from Glasgow - "I didn't come up the Clyde on a bicycle", or alternatively "on a biscuit", which sounds more exciting.

Sheilasue, my Granny used to say "As old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth" if you asked how old she was, just like Jalima's DM.

DH's expression for flies being open is "selling matches" for which I can offer no explanation

Fine words butter no parsnips

My late DM always made me laugh when she said 'It's cold enough for a walking stick'.

Sometimes it was 'Charlie's dead'; alternatively, 'It's raining in Paris'. In our part of Scotland a woman who was 'up herself' was 'Lady Muck of Stoorie Castle'.

We would say "Charlie's dead" if someone's slip was showing. Funnily enough, there was a boy in our class called Charlie, but we never connected it with him.

And my father always used to talk of jam sandwiches such as they were given in the Navy: Two bits of bread jammed together!

Ours was 'this won't buy the baby a new bonnet". I remember learning that "you've got egg on your face" said to a man meant his flies were open (not explained until i was in my teens). We also used to say "It's snowing down south" when someone's underskirt was showing. Why couldn't we just tell them?

If I got a small mark on something I was wearing and showed it to my Mum, she used to say: "A blind man would be glad to see that." And if someone was crying, it was often referred to as "Piping his/her eye" - no idea where that one came from.

Found this for shake a stick at, if it's of any interest:
www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-sha2.htm

When asked what was for dinner,my mother would say," A rasher of wind and a fried snowball.

One of MIL's sayings was 'She's all fur coat and no knickers'

What's for dinner? "Three kicks at the pantry door"
I'm thirsty - "Have some Corporation pop"

The version I heard for 'how old are you?' was "I'm as old as my tongue and a bit older than my teeth" - DM's standard reply!

'But Why?' - "because Y 's a crooked letter and Z's not any better"

My mum used that expression, Blinko , but when I asked for butter on my parsnips, she gave me one of her 'looks'.
My aunt, who was very funny and also very vulgar was talking about a snobbish acquaintance and referred to her as Lady Muck the Duchess of Fuller's Earth, or sometimes if she was in a vitriolic mood - Lady Muck from S**t Hill !

My DGC laugh at many of my 'sayings' and claim not to know what they mean. I use the 'shake a stick', 'swing a cat round' and a few of the other ones mentioned on here. Some which have not been mentioned are ' ? o'clock and not a pot washed', which I think is self-explanatory, 'have a larry', which is to be outraged and 'in a pig's eye', expressing doubt at a claim. One which I learned at my Mother's knee, and which always amuses the family is 'run up a shutter', meaning the equivalent of 'get lost' in the modern idiom. I fear I'm Queen of the Cliche'.

She was surprised that it existed as she thought 'Going round the Wrekin' was just a saying fiorentina51 - I could see the Wrekin from just up the road where I grew up - but I don't think I've ever gone round it. How interesting that it has gone out as far as New Zealand!

I've just remembered (it takes time these days ) that the expression I heard DM use was 'There's not enough to shake a stick at' so presumably there had to be just the right number, not too many according to some posters, but enough according to my mum!

absent I'll be jiggered - that's interesting, I never heard my mother swear and she would probably have been quite amused to find that it was a euphemism for something impolite.

I still use the shake a stick expression, and always thought it was something to do with training animals. Not sure why, though. And another saying I heard from my grandparents' day: Fine words butter no parsnips. I think that meant that charm alone would not bring in money to buy food. Does anyone still use it, I wonder?