Time to toughen up?

She's not on GNet is she? Probably wouldn't recognise herself.

We all feel like this sometimes * sunseeker* but have you told that 'friend @ ( who was , in my opinion RUDE) how you felt ?

Some people just need to understand that every action has a reaction. You came willingly to her aid and the very least she could have done is let you know when your help was no longer needed.

I'd say this is a bit like the boy who cried wolf - next time you wont be so quick to change your plans. If she takes offence then she wasn't much of a friend to start with .

No you are most definitely not a wimp sunseeker. You are a very kind and generous-hearted person and I'm sure there are people among your circle of friends who are well aware of your worth and wouldn't dream of taking you for granted. The others, well just offload them, they're just users. We've all met people like this. I think you seem to be wising up to them now! The thing to do is always give yourself a little time before jumping in and agreeing to whatever demands are made of you. Time to think things over and decide whether this is a genuine friend or a user.
And next time someone needs to see you to help out with their problem, suggest a venue round the corner from where you live!

You sound like a lovely friend but don't be a martyr you deserve better I would make it clear how she has annoyed you.

Oh sunseeker I sooooooo know how you feel. I often feel like I have MUG printed on my forehead.

Your (so called) "friend" must have been thinking "now which idiot mug can I use to offload my problems onto" and then when her problem was sorted the same (so called) friend didn't even afford you the courtesy of letting you know. Disgusting behaviour.

I often tell myself that next time I will just say "NO" and I even rehearse my speech, however when the question (or demand) is put to me my resolve goes straight out of the window and I hear "YES" and a sigh coming out of my mouth.

My problem is she is not the only one who seems to think I am a mug. A few months ago I was contacted by someone who suddenly stopped speaking to me without explanation 6 years ago. She said she was in a lot of debt, not unusual for her, and was selling her flat in order to pay it off and didn't know where she was going to live. She then went on to say how lucky I was to live in such a nice house without any debt. I talked about it to my sister in law who very firmly told me not to offer to take her in. I emailed her back saying I was sorry to hear of her problems but that I was sure one of her daughters would take her in. I haven't heard from her since! I have spent most of the night thinking of all the times I have put myself out for people who were not there for me when I needed help. I think I give off a vibe which shouts "walk all over me - I'm a wimp"!

sunseeker, you are clearly a nice person and a good friend. I'm sure you have plenty of other friends and you could well do without that one. She's not a friend if she behaves like this.

sunseeker, she was totally out of order. Next time she has a problem remind her that she treated you without consideration and you are not prepared to drop everything for her. Perhaps she will get the message, I suspect not.

Oh dear. Oh heck. How rude of her.

I had to stand up to my own family at the weekend. I do think that we all need to stand up from time to time in order to sort things out.
In my own case, I had been generous with them, and thought my generosity was being taken for granted. Turned out there were some misunderstandings all round.

Personally I would say something to her. You might find out if she is a true friend or not.

Stay as you are, sunseeker. You sound like a really lovely friend. Perhaps give that particular pal a piece of your mind next time you see her, though.