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Fun with nuisance caller

(39 Posts)
sunseeker Tue 19-Apr-16 11:59:25

I received a phone call this morning which showed on my caller ID as an international number. All my family live abroad, including my 90 year old mother and my brother who is currently being treated for cancer so I answered it to be greeted by someone claiming to being doing an energy survey for the government. As I had some free time I decided to have some fun so put on my little old lady voice. Call went like this:

Nuisance caller: You are entitled to a free energy survey

Me: Oh at my age I'm afraid I don't have the energy I used to.

NC: No that's not what I mean, for instance do you have double glazed windows.

Me: I'm not sure - my nephew deals with all that for me but I think he did say that he has recently put in Windows 10.

NC: No I mean the windows of your house, are they double glazed

Me: What does that mean

NC: Well if they are double glazed you won't lose any heat out of the windows.

Me: Oh I don't lose any heat out of them, when I have the heating on the windows are closed.

NC: Hangs up

Luckygirl Tue 19-Apr-16 21:29:58

We have caller identification on our phones, so we automatically let it ring if it is a call from abroad - everyone we know abroad is logged in our phone so it would appear as the caller name. Also we are with the TPS, but it does not stop some getting through still. On the few occasions when I do get cold calls, I tell them that we are with TPS and they should not have been ringing, and every time they apologise.

I knew someone who was unfortunate to have to work in a call centre for a while - she was in exactly the position that Nelliemoser describes - and she said it was very stressful - their calls are being eavesdropped all the time, and they have unrealistic targets to meet or they only get a very basic pay. She was very glad when she was able to get out.

The only puzzling thing is that I know no-one who does not hang up on these people, but someone somewhere must buy the stuff or the call centres would wither and die.

Daddima Wed 20-Apr-16 09:39:35

I don't think TPS affects calls from outside the UK, as most of ours show as international. I like a bit of sport too, and my record is 25 minutes with the fellow ( Hector, if I remember correctly, though he sounded very exotic!) from Microsoft who had detected a dreadful problem with my PC.
He talked me through the procedure which would have given him control of my PC ( which I didn't have on) , and was very patient with my " dithery old lady" persona. When he asked what I could see on my screen I told him it said, " Hector is a scamming ba*$#rd who is trying to get access to your PC"

He hung up.

maturefloosy Wed 20-Apr-16 10:18:47

I always say they need to speak to the owner of the house - tell them to hang on and I put the phone down on the table and leave it there -- and just get on with what I was doing. I check 15 minutes later and they have usually hung up and no doubt put some blacklist mark against my number for future calls.!

adaunas Wed 20-Apr-16 10:22:37

Love that sunseekersmile???

Nona4ever Wed 20-Apr-16 10:38:37

I like Stephen Fry's response to these callers.
When he gets such a call he tells the caller that he will be delighted to talk to him - "but first, can I tell you about my Lord and Master?"
Apparently it works all the time.

AshleyM Wed 20-Apr-16 14:28:19

I have a friend that puts her 3 year old grandson on the phone. That sorts them out!

MaryXYX Wed 20-Apr-16 15:15:25

I'm registered with TPS as well, so I know that any sales call is illegal. That doesn't stop the ones who say they "Are only doing a survey" or the ones who are trying to scam me because what they are doing is illegal anyway.

I have used the line "I'm registered with the TPS so making a cold sales call to me is illegal. That means you are a criminal." Unfortunately that usually gets the "Oh, I'm only doing a survey" response.

I did once spend about 20 minutes with "Windows support". I did everything he asked me to very slowly, while reading emails on another screen, until he wanted me to connect to a website in Russia. Then I told him it was time to part company. Another time I got "Windows support" we were part way though and I told him he had missed out part of the script. That ended the call!

More often I just lay the phone down and wait for them to give up.

Tizliz Wed 20-Apr-16 15:40:41

I nearly fell off my chair when I replied 'busy' to the question 'how are you today?' and they lady said 'sorry to have troubled you, goodbye'. Must be a first.

grandMattie Wed 20-Apr-16 16:15:20

One of my friends exclaims with great joy, "I'm SO glad you've called. I MUST tell you about Jesus"! Instant hanging up from the other end!
I normally just gently put the phone to one side and let them carry on until i get a dialling tone - but since my phone is unlisted, it is rare now to get nuisance calls.

MamaCaz Wed 20-Apr-16 18:55:22

Tizliz: That "how are you today" question, from a complete stranger on the other end of the phone really, really winds me up. Because I'm generally too polite to tell them to mind their own f**** business, I usually end up growling some meaningless answer. It's never crossed my mind just to say "busy". I'll try that next time, and at the rate I get these calls (three in the last hour) I shouldn't have to wait long. smile

BBbevan Wed 20-Apr-16 19:01:14

We once had a young man with a very strong Indian accent ring about double glazing or some such thing.. He said his name was Sean!!! I asked him how he was spelling his name, He put the phone down

Juggernaut Wed 20-Apr-16 19:02:03

I say "yes" to everything.....
Am I speaking to Mrs Whatever?
"Yes".
You are owed money from when you took out PPI
"Yes"
We can get you this money back.
"Yes"
Could I please have your postal address.
"Yes"
Okay, whats the first line of your address.
"Yes"
No, I need the first line of your address.
"Yes"

This game can go on for ages, it's great fun!

I"m desperate for one of the callers to ask me if I'm taking the pi**, just so that I can say........"Yes"!

poshpaws Thu 21-Apr-16 01:29:40

I love your strategy Sunseeker. I may adopt it just for the sheer joy of it! At the moment I tend to say "you should be ashamed of yourself being involved in a scam like this" if it's the Microsoft or similar, and "The landlord doesn't live here" if it's cold callers.