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I've learned a valuable lesson

(129 Posts)
NanKate Fri 18-Mar-16 15:27:28

We are house and cat sitting for my DH's brother and wife. They live in a beautiful riverside house in the East Midlands. The house is gated.

We have only been here since Monday but I am going slowly more doolally at the feeling of quiet and isolation.

They have triple glazing so I can only hear my tinnitus bashing away. hmm

We have gone out and about everyday to keep me sane but I am counting the minutes, hours, days till we return to our lovely little house in a bustling small town in the Thames Valley.

If we ever have to move it is imperative that we choose somewhere to walk easily to some decent shops, a place where there are plenty of small cafés, and activities such as WI and U3A to keep me occupied.

I can't even watch my programmes that I stream on my IPad (tennis from around the world, Scandi Noir series, films etc) because they don't have unlimited Broadband.

I know I may sound very selfish, but my DH who rarely complains is also feeling trapped in this isolated paradise.

Give me a noisy High Street and plenty of passersby in exchange for just watching some bl**dy ducks on the river.

I've got cabin fever arghhhhhhhh !

NfkDumpling Sat 19-Mar-16 06:40:50

That's ok Wot. Norfolk is the second biggest county apparently, and there are bits which are really open, isolated and ever so slightly weird. My bit is Norwich and the Broads and the north east bit, and it's becoming quite popular and crowded here! Where are you?

Mamie Sat 19-Mar-16 06:54:08

Another one here who loves living in the depths of the French countryside. Absolute peace and quiet, pitch dark at night, strong sense of community. We often drive to our nearest shops (10 km) without seeing another car.
We used to think that we would want to go back to England eventually, but I don't think we will now. When we come back here after a visit, we are coming home.

M0nica Sat 19-Mar-16 07:46:25

We live in the quiet part of a big village. It has a Co-op, Indian restaurant, hairdresser, several pubs and a good bus service.

We moved from a busy corner in a big town and we have never regretted the move.

A time may come when we need to be much closer to facilities, but we have been here 20 years and see no need to move in the near future.

wot Sat 19-Mar-16 10:30:24

Norfolkdumples, I'm at the far end of Dilham there is a pub but I could never go in on my own.

wot Sat 19-Mar-16 10:32:12

But I have got large garden whereas in hove/brighton it was just a concrete yard (easy maintenance!)

Lavande Sat 19-Mar-16 13:03:55

wot I was house and cat sitting for one of my sisters who lives very near to Dilham over the Christmas period. Not only that but called in for a drink with some friends who also live in Dilham. Small world as they say.

wot Sat 19-Mar-16 13:17:19

Gosh, lavender! You could've come round for a cuppa ( or a tipple) when are you coming again? I spose I've lost my anonymity now but not a secretive person anyway.(grin)

Galen Sat 19-Mar-16 13:50:45

I live on the edge of a N Somerset town on the top of a hill looking out over the Bristol Channel.
The small road I live in is very quiet and I can hear bird song. I hardly see a soul in winter apart from my cleaner and Gardner.
I would hate to live in a noisy environment. I can't stand raised voices and noise.
Not sure how I would manage without my unlimited broadband though.

gettingonabit Sat 19-Mar-16 14:04:18

galen that looks suspiciously like the Severn Crossing?

Greyduster Sat 19-Mar-16 14:19:29

We often drive past houses deep in the countryside and I wonder what it must be like to be so isolated - nothing around for miles, no village, shops or other houses. I love the country but that wouldn't suit me. At the moment, we have, I think, the best of both worlds. I sit here now looking over miles of woods and rolling countryside all of which is easily accessed on foot from our front door. In one direction we can see across the moors that are the beginning of the Peak District. But ten minutes walk down the main road we have a large supermarket and petrol station, and are within easy distance of the village for the dentist and the doctor. Fifteen minutes walk, or a couple of stops on the bus, is the terminus for the Supertram which takes us into the city centre. It is quiet without being isolated. All that may change, of course, when HS2 hoves onto the horizon, but by the time they get round to bringing it 'up 'ere!' we could well be pushing up daisies!

Galen Sat 19-Mar-16 14:45:53

It is the Severn crossing. It's just up river from my house. This was taken from my back garden. This one is looking straight ahead

kittylester Sat 19-Mar-16 16:03:56

NanKate, I've pm'd you!

gettingonabit Sat 19-Mar-16 16:06:51

I'm guessing somewhere between Aust and Pilning? (nosy). That's one heck of a view you've got thereenvy

rosesarered Sat 19-Mar-16 16:12:48

When we first retired we chose a hamlet ( wrong move) so then moved to a very large village , much happier now and feel in the centre of things.

Galen Sat 19-Mar-16 16:27:51

No I'm Portihead. T'other side of t'bridge

merlotgran Sat 19-Mar-16 16:32:27

In the seventies we lived very close to where downtoearth is about to move from.

It was idyllic. The village was full of young families. We all had cars and regularly took our elderly neighbours to Swaffham for shopping and they baby sat in return. We raised funds to build a community centre and frequented the local pub which sold gut rot sherry from a barrel - you had to provide your own bottle.

The summer holidays were spent swimming in the river Wissey which was crystal clear and a weekly high light was congregating for the mobile library which was a good place to swap gossip and grab the book you wanted which somebody had just returned. Simple pleasures but we made our own fun

We lived in a large farmhouse which was freezing cold in winter so we only used the rooms at the back but in the summer we opened it all up and held a party to which most of the village was invited. The children would all be bundled in one large bedroom and we closed the two staircases off with gates so they could ride their tricycles up and down the huge landing.

Such happy days and I was heartbroken when we had to move for DH's job but I wouldn't want to live there now as, although we live in an isolated part of Cambridgeshire, the transport links are brilliant and everywhere feels 'near.'

NanKate Sat 19-Mar-16 17:02:02

AN APOLOGY

When I first started this thread I never thought that I might be describing the place that one of our Gransnetters lives in. I was rude about the area and said far too much. I really need to rein myself in and think of others' feelings.

Having said that I do not respond to isolation well and even in my own home when we were snowed in for a few days I went a bit doolally. My DH bought me some special grips for my shoes so I would never be so panicky again and it has worked.

When I tried to analyse why I have been so upset this week I realise that it dates back to over 40 years ago when I was just joining my DH's family who lived in this area. It was a bumpy ride and this has come flooding back to me. However that is no excuse for me unloading my upset on others.

Thanks for listening and here are some flowers for the very gracious Gransnetter who knows who I mean.

wot Sat 19-Mar-16 17:36:22

It sounds wonderful, Merlot.

wot Sat 19-Mar-16 17:37:38

Nankate, I, too, have been rude about my area ....sorry!

mrsmopp Sat 19-Mar-16 17:38:50

NanKate, I don't think you have anything to apologize about, and I think you have started a very interesting thread on here, where we have all raised points of view about the environment and locations we feel happier in.
We all have different ideas - one person might love to live in the dead centre of London and another would be happier in an isolated spot in Scotland.
Let's embrace our differences and preferences, and I don't think any of the posters on here think you were being rude at all.
Relax, you are among friends! flowers

Tegan Sat 19-Mar-16 18:21:11

I think there's a big difference between going on holiday and staying in a holiday home and staying in 'someone else's house' even if they're not actually there. I'm just about to go oop north to stay in the S.O's house and have already had a bloomin' row because he gets funny about me packing my stuff in his car [eg no, there, not there...]. At least I now have wi fi there but in the previous place there was no wi fi. I don't like to drive his car so I can never just go off somewhere, so I suffered terribly from cabin fever. It was in the most beautiful location but I reached a point of not wanting to go for more than a few days. Just things like having to have a particular radio channel on when one wants to have another on 'or nothing at all'. Oh, and there isn't catchup tv up there, something that I find impossible to live without these day. Looking on the bight side NanKate, I live just up the road [ish]and, if I'd known sooner [and it hadn't been Cheltenham week!] you'd've had me knocking on your door wanting a cuppa. You've escaped quite lightly imo.grin

grannyactivist Sat 19-Mar-16 18:25:45

I was born and raised in Manchester, and as cities go it has much to commend it, but I really couldn't live there again as I'm not a city girl at heart. I have lived in very rural isolated hamlets, in cities, in towns and in villages. By choice I now live in a small seaside town.

When I choose a holiday I'm drawn to quiet, rural places. Our favourite spot in Norway is a tiny hamlet where a trip to the shop means either a two mile walk to catch a (twice a day) bus into town or we take a boat out to a coastal village with a single shop.

My point is that these things are all subjective and thank goodness for that - otherwise we'd all want to live in similar locations. smile

downtoearth Sat 19-Mar-16 18:27:45

You haven't been rude nanakate just saying how unhappy in that environment it is not a personal attack....I understand that panicky cut off need to get out feeling xxsmile

wot Sat 19-Mar-16 18:35:50

Would anyone be interested in buying a lovely, cosy cottage??!! Norfolk.

NfkDumpling Sat 19-Mar-16 18:47:08

Dilham is v e r y quiet Wot! And what a coincidence that Lavande visits?

I'm in Aylsham. Although fairly central and within easy walk of the town square our road is surprisingly quiet as we're in a 20 mph zone and near a crossroads so cars crawl past as a rule. A fair number of pedestrians though so there's usually something to watch and if I get bored I just do a bit of gardening in the front garden and someone soon stops to chat! The best bit is that open countryside is five minutes walk away and Blickling NT estate five minutes drive. Love it!