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Naughty Nanna.......but doing the best I can!

(189 Posts)
Katek Fri 04-Mar-16 09:30:36

I have allowed dgs to watch more tv than he's normally permitted. It's been a great help in letting me tidy, prepare his food etc, then we sit down and play until lunchtime. He's quite grizzly and argumentative as well (not his usual) so I'm heading off confrontation with him. There are times and there are times, and I don't think now is the right time to be firm with an unwell, grumpy, missing his mum, tired 2 year old. I'm also not in my 20s/30s any more! I'm justifying it to myself I know, but I do feel guilty.

Indinana Fri 04-Mar-16 09:42:04

It sounds as if you're doing a fantastic job Katek and I'm sure his mum and dad would be completely forgiving about the extra tv time as they must be so very grateful that you've been able to step in and help them. And no, I totally agree about this not being the time to be firm with him - you must do what you think is right for him and for you until he is in better health.
You seriously have no need to feel guilty - I'm quite sure many of us would be struggling to cope full time with an unwell 2 year old. I certainly would be! Well done, you're doing great smile

grannylyn65 Fri 04-Mar-16 09:48:54

My son and ddil know very well that Grannies rules are somewhat flexible !!!!

kittylester Fri 04-Mar-16 09:52:34

I think one of the best granny bits is sitting watching TV with a poorly child especially now as DGD1 (age 7) loves things like musicals!grin You are doing great KateK.

Lona Fri 04-Mar-16 09:53:17

No need to justify Katek, when GC feel poorly anything goes as far as I'm concerned! You are doing a great job, and it's very hard work at our age wink flowers
Hope he's better soon.

Teacher11 Fri 04-Mar-16 10:04:30

Day time TV and the poor quality programmes aimed at children are not good for their language and reading skills and general development. I never let my children watch anything before 3.30.

There are some good alternatives. Story CDs are brilliant, especially when unabridged, and they build up concentration, listening, vocabulary and grammar skills. The adult also gets to choose the CDs and thereby controls the input (you can, for example, avoid, 'Teletubby' type non-language based programmes). There are also CDs that teach numbers, letters and tables by songs and chanting.

You can offer picture books to two year olds as it is never too early to kick start their pre-reading abilities and habits.

DVDs with children's narratives are better than 'putting the telly on' as, again, the adult can control what is watched and ensure it is of a high quality.

Libraries offer children's CDs and DVDs at minimal cost and charity shops are full of such material at bargain prices.

grannylyn65 Fri 04-Mar-16 10:07:51

Guess I won't be babysitting for teacher then !
Note to self, recharge ipad!

Katek Fri 04-Mar-16 10:21:59

Thanks fellow grans - feel a little less guilty! His parents do so much with both boys small as they both are, They constantly interact with them and use every opportunity to give them new experiences. It's exhausting watching them. I think they could be a little kinder to themselves but hey-ho, their children, their choice. I shall try not to feel like I'm letting the side down though.

Tegan Fri 04-Mar-16 10:25:21

My one year old grandchild isn't allowed to watch tv at all. I'm not sure when she will be allowed to do so but feel that a life without Postman Pat, Bagpuss, The Clangers et al is rather sad sad [my happiest memories of childhood being Rag Tag and Bobtail and The Woodentops]...Didn't stop me talking [as people who know me [you know who you are wink] will justify!!

Lona Fri 04-Mar-16 10:26:09

That's all very well Teacher but a poorly 2 year old probably wouldn't be paying that much attention.

Jalima Fri 04-Mar-16 10:30:16

Nor me, grannylyn!

There is nothing wrong with an hour or so of Peppa Pig, Mr Maker or Justin, especially when you have an unwell, fractious toddler to care for, or if you want to keep them out of the kitchen when you're cooking.
I disagree that programmes such as these are poor quality.

We recorded Stickman when it was on and DGD could watch that time and again.

As long as it is not on all day that is fine smile
And no, this is when we realise that our energy levels are not what they were.

Jalima Fri 04-Mar-16 10:33:43

Fancy that, I never knew that you could offer picture books to two year olds!
You live and learn on here grin

Note to self, sarcasm is not witty.

Katek Fri 04-Mar-16 10:39:31

When I said he's watching more tv Teacher11, I didn't mean I'd switched the box on and left it running. He's watching pre-recorded episodes of programmes approved by his parents. He also 'reads' voraciously, has a huge library of books and will happiky follow stories like The Gruffalo. We've been working our way through his Thomas collection while he's been unwell. (Books are very important in this house-mum is faculty head of modern languages with her subject being English.)

Grannaby Fri 04-Mar-16 10:47:15

A friend of mine was banned from watching the Flowerpot Men in case she didn't learn to speak properly! She is now a vicar and must therefore be more eloquent than me. Flobadob . . .

morethan2 Fri 04-Mar-16 10:48:59

This is the world As it is. It's not ideal but I wouldn't even feel the least bit guilty. As long as there is lots of other stuff going on a little bit of children's t.v now and agin won't do any harm. It's not as if your shoving him in front of Jermy Kyle every time you have him don't beat yourself up

harrigran Fri 04-Mar-16 10:57:13

I am glad Teacher isn't my DIL because she would be getting a few choice words from me. A sick child will not sit and look at picture books, all they want is cuddles and moving wallpaper.

Imperfect27 Fri 04-Mar-16 10:59:05

KateK, I think your lovely family are just lucky to have you there to help! You are obviously conscientious and doing extra thoughtful things to support them. My daughter is also a head of faculty (Englsih) and has a house stuffed ful of books - I am enjoying lining up a library of my own for DGS, but I know TV will also play a valued part.

Teacher 11, I know we have to sort wheat from chaff, but there are some very good children's programmes out there - and some terrible DVDs! Personally, I didn't like Tellytubbies which came out when my youngest was pre-school, but how we loved Sesame Street and Come Outside with Pippin the dog and my children definitely learned from those programmes!

I expect many of us have memories of cuddling up with our own poorly children and being grateful for some comforting TV. I like nothing better when I am poorly myself - sometimes we need what is familiar.

Katek, I hope your dgs is soon better and I am sure he won't be scarred - soothed and comforted, yes. You sound like a brilliant nanny to me.

TheMaggiejane1 Fri 04-Mar-16 11:04:49

I agree with you there harrigran. I also don't agree that children need to be constantly stimulated and interacted with. We all need some down time and children need to learn how to amuse themselves for short periods of time!

Luckygirl Fri 04-Mar-16 11:09:48

You do not need to justify yourself. If the circumstances are such that you need to be involved in the care of your GS then you must do whatever is needed to make it possible for you to do it - i.e. do whatever gets you through.

I am in the same boat doing 2 days child care a week, and if I am flaked out then they watch some TV. End of.

They do not watch it for hours at a time, but I use it as a chance for me to recharge my 67 year old batteries so I can then do something else when I am recharged.

I absolutely reject this nonsense that children should be doing something creative or educational every minute of every day - I would not want to be doing that myself and, just like us adults, children enjoy a bit of vegging out.

To be honest the above post by Teacher11 fills me with horror and makes me want to puke. It is this sort of guilt trip that is making today's young parents exhausted and miserable - "it is never too early to kick start their pre-reading abilities" - oh yes it is. For heaven's sake, they are children - they should be working out how to get on with others, using their imaginations and having some cuddles and fun - and that includes TV, which is part of modern life. I make quite sure that any present that I buy my GC does not have "educational" written on it. FFS they get enough of this stuff rammed down their throats when they get to school and have SATs to worry about and other such nonsense - give the poor things a break.

We are not in our twenties any more; we have to do the child care in the best way we can given our limitations. We bring other valuable things to these children based in our experience and a sense of balance.

Children need to learn how to entertain themselves - we should not be doing stuff with them all the time - if they do not learn to amuse themselves then they will be ghastly demanding brats.

You are not a "naughty nana" - you are human. Don't let these poncy dictators get to you - do what is right for you! Don't you dare feel guilty!!

POGS Fri 04-Mar-16 11:21:55

KateK

He won't be effected either way. All the little chap wants to know is Nanna is there to love and cuddle him.

Hope he picks up soon and get's back to being a little ?. smile

Elrel Fri 04-Mar-16 11:36:51

I agree with POGS. Sure you have no need to feel the least bit guilty. Hope he's better soon.

Anya Fri 04-Mar-16 11:37:48

B****cks Teacher there are many good quality TV programmes on these days. In fact when my GC wandered off I often used to sit and watch thrm alone.

I've got a poorly 4-year old here today. High temperature, flushed, lethargic (usually a live wire) normally I wouldn't be too bothered, and just be happy to let nature take its course, but with all this publicity around meningitis at the moment I'm finding it very stressful. I'm quite happy for her to lie down and just watch TV.

Luckygirl Fri 04-Mar-16 11:49:40

I hope your DGD is better soon Anya and that your GS too Katek is back to his normal self speedily. How lucky these Mums are to have you!

Luckygirl Fri 04-Mar-16 11:54:36

By the way Teacher - my DDs were brought up on the principle that there was more to life than book-learning, and I always counter-balanced the pressure to achieve from school with the important things: learning to be kind was at the top of the list.

They all did brilliantly in higher education and have strings of qualifications to their names, so they did not miss out from not being force fed education too early.

It has all got out of hand. The child minder who looks after my DGD one day a week had her OfSted rating reduced from outstanding to good on the grounds that she did not do enough maths with the children in her care: aged 9 months, one year and 2. Sigh.

Elrel Fri 04-Mar-16 11:56:37

Absolutely, Anya. There's a lot of good children's programmes on tv, some informative, some distracting, some just right for a poorly child. GS 5 and I both learnt things from a recent CBBC programme about Space which fascinates him. His little sister was calmed and amused by Abney and Teal.

Years ago I used to occasionally cuddle my first GD in front of the now defunct Landscape Channel when she couldn't sleep. 'Moving wallpaper' and quiet music soon did the trick.