The things they say

DGS aged 6 (mummy an English teacher so vocabulary advanced) decided that oxymoron meant someone who was rubbish at making gravy.

My 6 had old grand daughter was excited about visiting her favourite big cousin in Glasgow. Many questions were asked the absolute best being, Mum is going to see cousin Jim like going to Disneyland. Her mum had difficulty replying to that.

Me to DGS (4): I know you know your numbers. Do you know your letters too?
DGS (confidently): oh yes, A, G, B, F, S, R. S is like this (doing wiggly hand movement)

I love his baby words. He's always called motor bikes pop-pops, and any vehicle with a siren is a woo-woo. Unfortunately dad corrects him, so now if I say oh look there's a pop-pop he'll say Grandma it's not a pop-pop, it's a motorbike ☹️

One Christmas Day I asked my 3 year old grandson to put Baby Jesus into the crib, which he duly did. A little while later he asked his Dad very quietly whether next year Grandma's Baby Jesus would be bigger. There really wasn't an answer to that.

Lying on the beach in a swimsuit, relaxing in the sun with Grandaughter playing in the sand, she stops strolls over to me and gently strokes my arm, then my tummy and whispers "Nanna, I love you (before I could reply she continues with..)and your body is just like a bouncy castle in your swimsuit you can't see it properly in your clothes but now you can see all the ripples on your tummy go up and down like you could bounce on them". Beach confidence took a sudden downward spiral..... Diet here I come

Years ago we moved into a converted barn, when my granddaughter came to visit I explained that cows were kept in it when it was part of a farm. She looked around thoughtfully and then said but Grandma how did they get up the (spiral)staircase?!
She is now grownup and a teacher.

Loving these lol.

Many years ago my eldest son used to often stay with his paternal grandparents. In the morning he was allowed to climb into bed for a few minutes before ma-in-law got up. One morning she got out of bed and (as she thought) discreetly took off her nightie to dress, a little voice piped up "Nanny I can see your boobies.." She then realised he could see her reflection in the mirror across the room! She did have a good laugh about it, as did we.

The youngest daughter (5) of that same son was sitting on the floor watching the fish in my aquarium. The large Angel fish comes right up to the glass if you go near, Lucy watched it for a moment then turned around and said "why is it watching me?" My OH replied "because he's wondering what it is looking at him". Quick as a flash she said "no it's not, it's because I'm beautiful". And although everyone laughed, who were we to disagree lol.

Some of these had me in stitches. I wonder if we remember grandchildren's comments better because we see them less than we did their parents AND have time to write things down. My gs is 6 and interested in wars; he knows I visited my great-uncle's WWI grave in France. He said "Mamie, did they use bows and arrows to fight in those days? A hundred years ago was really the olden days, wasn't it?" I guess from his perspective it was!

Granddaughter aged 6 shopping with Daddy, asking to buy everything under the sun. Daddy explains that you cannot just buy something because you like the look of it and we all have to work to earn money and save up if we want something in particular. Granddaughter - "so when I grow up and go to work and earn money can I spend it on what I like then ?" Daddy confirmed that she could and her response was "Oh goodie, I can buy all those things that Mummy says are inappropriate" !!

These are great. My DGS, then 4, asked who my Mum was. i explained that sadly he never knew her as she died before he was born, "who shot her" was the response!!!

My then 5 year old son was sitting on the floor playing when something happened and he said a little swear word. I was rather shocked and said to him 'where did that word come from' and he replied 'out of my throat'. I had to walk outside to laugh.

I used to help out in my children's infant school and if a child couldn't spell a word they would ask me to write it in their spelling book. A little boy came up and asked how do you spell fort. I said do you mean like a castle or do you mean to fight but you fought. No, he said, in his best Essex accent I mean like you fink but you fought. Made my day.

This is my first post-so be gentle with me!
Our DGS (7) asked DH the other day walking home from school what he would receive when DH died! Grandad explained everything would go his Mummy and her sister but if there was anything he especially wanted what would it be?
He thought for a moment (dear husband is an artist) and said "one of your pencils please" How sweet! We're now going to get a set of pencils for each of DGC enscribed with their name and love from Grandad!

One of the funniest ones that my own daughter came out with, was when she was about 3, I can't remember exactly what she'd done, but I said 'Kelly, where are your manners'? To which, quick as a flash, she replied 'in my toy box'! We couldn't stop laughing for ages.

That's so sweet Newquay. And welcome to Gransnet

Out for a stroll in the country one day years ago, with DS2 then aged 6. We got to talking about what there was to be afraid of and when I asked he said he was afraid of highwaymen! Heavens, it wasn't that long ago.....

When my daughter was small I would wash her hair and wrap the towel round in a turban. One night she said 'Mummy, I don't mind having my hair washed but please don't put a turnip on my head'. We still laugh about that one!

During our nature walk my 18 month old granddaughter was excited to see her first real octopus. When daddy arrived home she desperately tried to tell him about our day and became increasingly frustrated due to her lack of vocabulary. Unable to say the word octopus she was near to tears as her little fingers demonstrated the movement of the octopus in the water and she repeatedly said "we go beach, wah-wah (water) Nina see" (frantic hand actions). I was on the point of helping her out when a glorious smile lit up her little face as she announced "Nina see wah-wah spider". The logic in the way she had classified a new animal impressed me so much I felt sure she would grow up to be a zoologist.

Just had a phonecall from darling daughter
DGD 2 wanted to speak to me! She's 2!
" Graggy, I want to watch a video on mummy's iPhone can you tell her I can?"
Me! No, mummy's house, mummy's rules!
At my house it's Graggys rules ( but I always check with darling daughter to make sure it's ok!)

DD has never been allowed to forget the time we drove past a hardware shop. There was a giant swiss army knife revolving in the window, it was about 3 feet tall and had all its blades extended. She stared at it and said " but where would you have a pocket big enough?" She was about 12 at the time!

GS1 (9) had successfully auditioned for the lead in the school play. He said he wasn't surprised that another boy hadn't got it because "at his audition he kept including ellipses that just weren't appropriate" I had to go and look up ellipse

Last year I bought DGS age 3 some slippers with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on them. When I told him, he corrected me: "you mean Ginger turtles, Grandma!". I tried to convince him that I was right, but he wouldn't have it: "I do assure you, Grandma, that it's Ginger. And I know that for a fact!"

Hmm - needless to say that they will always be the Teenage Mutant Ginger Turtles to me now, even when DGS learns otherwise

Cagsy that reminds me of when DGS2 asked me about who my Mum was. I said she'd died and he said "oh no! Who killed her?"

Years ago a little girl I used to look after was asked, at playgroup, where she would like to go on holiday. She replied "I want to go to Heaven, I've heard it's very nice there"

When my granddaughter was 2 she asked me what her toy was called.

'It's a unicorn.' I replied.
'A menicorn ' she said, pointing to herself.

I was at a loss to explain why she was wrong.

DS 1, now 37, used to call nipples "ee bars" due to a silly game played when having a bath with exdh, in which DS would press one, dh would go "ee" then when the other was pressed he would go "bar"

As he was about to start school, I thought he really should know the proper word, so while bathing him I pointed to his and asked what they were called "Ee bars" came the response.

I explained that they were actually called "nipples".

Not long after starting school, I thought I would see if he remembered the proper word, so again while he was having his bath, I asked if he could remember what they were called.

He looked up at me with those big blue eyes and said............

" Is it tits?"

At school the children always said Ginger Turtles and Light Saver as used in Star Wars