Thoughtful Posting

FFS, this thread is far too serious. I came here for an argument and this is just contradiction...

nanaandgrampy, interesting question about when newbies become oldies. My feeling is that if newbies don't mention they are newbies and just jump in and muck in, then hardly anyone notices. They might notice a new nametag but if the newbie is just joining in rather than complaining, then they soon just become part of the oldies crowd gransnet crowd.

Really, the only difference between newbies and oldies is that oldies have had time to get to know each other through much discussion and, sometimes, through meetups that have led to blossoming friendships. We were all newbies once.

Oldies are, on the whole, perfectly welcoming of newbies. What they don't welcome is complaints about Gransnet or about how they post, about how they are as people, as personalities. Gransnet forums are for everyone who wants to join in.

Anyone who feels change is required should perhaps ponder the saying: "Be the change you want to see", rather than shifting the responsibility onto others.

In my opinion, when joining any organisation, a year before a person is not a newbie?

If you want an argument, polly, argue. You should be able to find something to argue about in my last post. I invite you to do so

No arguing from me, life is too short!

jalima, I did think imperfect had a valid reason for her unhappiness had valid feelings. I also thought they were self-centred feelings and that it'd be less self-centred not to be laying the blame for them elsewhere by wanting other people's behaviour to be different.

I used the verb argue as equal to discuss, pol. Of you don't like the discussions on this thread, why are you here chipping in? There are plenty of others where all is sweetness and light and nobody discusses difficult ideas.

Nothing wrong with those, btw, but this isn't one of them. If you don't like it, I suggest, with humour, that you bugger off it . Otherwise, join in and discuss. Or just read it.

if not of

I just think it's all been said and it would be better to leave it. I can take humour, love it.

Though, actually, you are perfectly entitled to chip as you were doing. It's just a bit irritating. But I should deal with that myself ?

As you were ?

You can now see OP where this sort of thread leads, as Anya said in the first few posts! It was ( sorry but has to be said) a bit of a lecture.

Nanaand g "Just a question - when do "relative newbies" become oldies in forum terms?" To reply to a genuine question with (I hope it comes over as that) a genuine answer - I don't think it is time exactly, more amount of posting and perhaps integration - by which I don't mean vanishing into the amorphous mass, but having had enough reciprocal conversations to no longer feel like a stranger parachuting in with unasked-for advice.

Very few people read all the posts in all the threads on all the topics on the Gransnet forums, so it is hit-and-miss whether a few posts have made a new member visible to everyone. Therefore, they don't instantly become a known voice, and the instinct is to think "Who is that, then, appearing from nowhere and wanting to regulate what has been going on successfully for so long?" A very natural and human reaction!

For instance - I personally feel more acquainted with NanaandGrampy than I do with Ginny42 or Imperfect27 - though this thread has increased my acquaintance with them both, particularly Imp who has had a lot of conversation with a lot of other posters and now seems much more three-dimensional. (Hope the abbreviation doesn't annoy, but it is shorter to type)

Yawn

Maybe not an intentional one Imperfect but that is how it came across from you.

Just read all today's posts and rather than repeat everything that's already been said by Jane, kitty, alea and bags I'll just say I supect Imperfect has no intention of moving on from any unpleasant threads she starts and will no doubt start up another one in due course.

We've had members like that before so we know what's what when it comes to someone who loves to get under people's skins.

Strange username for one who wants everything to be perfect.

I won't be able to get that Fairground Attraction song out of my head now.

Thatbags appreciate the response.

Something to ponder over methinks .

True, Elegran

Actually, nanaandg, you've struck me as a jumper and joiner-inner of the kind I was describing. I've no idea if you're a relative newbie or a cranky old oldie like me!

thatbags I see.
imo it's easier to modify your own behaviour and your reaction to other people's behaviour than to try to change theirs - without in any way being submissive to them. I have found that through experience, an example of which I posted on that other thread.

There's nowt so queer as folk as my DM used to say.

Elegran thanks for your response also.

Particularly resonates with your 2nd paragraph . Not something I'd given much thought to but can now see how that would impact.

Interesting stuff !

Her post was flouncing.

I called her "Jenny" for a reason. Probably lost on Gransnetters. I would never make a mistake with bags's name. Or ab's. Or *wilma drawers knickers fit. etc. etc. Perhaps because they are regular posters. And would be missed if she left.

That's all.

they. not she

I do like to be subtle.

Thatbags ahhhh opinionated that's me

I've lurked a long time but only posted in the last couple of months . So I'm a "newdie " !! Hmmmmm might need to rethink that

Probably lost on Gransnetters that's going to annoy me now not that it is lost on Gnetters but the reason .....
Unless you had a gin-soaked great aunt Jenny?