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I'm sending wrong message

(76 Posts)
wot Thu 28-Jan-16 17:21:30

It's my natural tendency to be friendly to "tradesmen" or anybody that finds themselves in the vicinity of my bloody awful desolate house. But these people always think "I'm coming on to them" I mean the latest one is a tiny wrinkled chappy of about 5 feet. This has always happened to me. My friend says "well, you shouldn't be so sexy" but honest lyrics I'm not. It's a bloody insult! Who do these guys think they are?? (Wouldn't much nd so much if they were fishy and good husband material)

NanaandGrampy Fri 29-Jan-16 12:40:22

Maybe he just likes a chat .

It's a difficult line to tread, I'm always super friendly and love a good chat ( as long as they are working whilst talking) but I don't think it's ever been taken as more than just being friendly.

Good luck finding the right balance .

wot Fri 29-Jan-16 12:15:50

Yes, thanks for the tip. Luckily though, I had not started on the wine whilst "the Wrinkled Gnome" was about. Poor old thing he is though.

NanaandGrampy Fri 29-Jan-16 12:09:41

No problem , now we understand better.

Perhaps if you're unhappy with uninvited attention you could distance yourself from tradement if you can. Be polite, offer a cuppa if they will be there a while and then take yourself off somewhere else in your house to avoid chatty conversation.

Maybe that might help?

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 29-Jan-16 12:09:01

Do they still make Woodbines? #blastfromthepast

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 29-Jan-16 12:08:22

pollyparrot shock. Never smoked in me life! grin

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 29-Jan-16 12:04:09

It's ok wot. Really sorry you are unhappy at the moment. Hope things look up soon.

NotTooOld Fri 29-Jan-16 12:00:44

Petra - NFN. grin

Alima Fri 29-Jan-16 12:00:24

wot, do forgive me if I have jumped to the wrong conclusion but could that have been the problem with the wrinkled gnome? Maybe that after a few glasses you had lost any inhibitions so he though he was on a promise? Just a thought.

wot Fri 29-Jan-16 11:49:53

I have indeed apologised to Jings and do so again. Sorry I was nasty. I love Yorkshire by the way!

NanaandGrampy Fri 29-Jan-16 11:42:49

Maybe Gransnet + alcohol is as bad an idea as texting when tipsy ? Because to be honest after your original post it all went to pot , and I think you probably owe Jingl an apology.

pollyparrot Fri 29-Jan-16 11:40:42

Perhaps cut down on the woodbines? grin

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 29-Jan-16 11:36:42

Cambia grin I love the North York moors. Fond memories of Goathland. Not sure I could cope with living there permanently though. For one thing I would need a good fire and woodsmoke makes me cough these days.

Caramac Fri 29-Jan-16 11:33:09

My dad was a milkman and so we always offered our milkman a cuppa. I did the same when I married. I have 2 brothers and have no problems talking to men. Unfortunately some men interpret friendliness as something quite different and frankly this can only mean their opinion of women is low and vastly inflated of themselves/men in general.
I no longer offer drinks but what a shame that is.
Wot how isolated are you? You sound like you could do with a bit of company.....even just a cuppa with someone.

Cambia Fri 29-Jan-16 11:27:15

Jinglbellsfrocks the north yorkshire moors are not bloody awful desolate!!! What a cheek! But then I am a solitary soul..... I loved Knoydart in Scotland and you could only get there by boat or a twenty mile hike over the hills. Just call me hermit.....

wot Fri 29-Jan-16 11:17:39

Yes, I want to be pals. I guess I I was being silly after a bottle of wine after my nearly dry January. I don't know what the reference s were about Norfolk though......Yes, I live here but not a native!
Sorry if I've offended anyone. Got a headache today so that's my comeuppance!

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 29-Jan-16 09:37:24

Yes wot. I have always been decent to you. I thought we were pals.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 29-Jan-16 09:36:11

I don't understand this at all. I was worrying in the night about what wot said to me on this thread. I do not know what brought it on.

And I am pretty disgusted that only one other poster had the kindness to put in a word for me.

#Gransnet [fingerdownthroat]

kittylester Fri 29-Jan-16 09:22:06

Oh dear! confused

obieone Fri 29-Jan-16 07:40:06

Personally I welcome posters with no children no education or class and no grandchildren.

I am not on here very often [so havent seen any problems that you have had in the past on here] but if you want to pm me anytime about anything, I will get back to you at some point.

Imperfect27 Fri 29-Jan-16 06:57:08

Dear Wot I identify with the problem you seem to have and I do sympathise!
I was raised with four older brothers and went to an all girl's grammar school so as I grew up my experience of the other sex was very limited and I would say I was openly friendly towards all men, but that is all - just conversationally friendly!!! I would never describe myself as 'sexy' even in my hayday (!) and I didn't wear makeup. But on a few occasions I have had men begin to flirt and/or be suggestive. As soon as I have realised I have drawn back and been careful, but none of the attention has ever ben invited by me. I honestly think some men have very big egos and it is evident that some also have some very negative attitudes towards women.

I said I have learned to be careful, but it is frustrating when you are just being nice and someone misinterprets it - wilfully I would say. Even down to offering a a tradesman a cup of tea ...

I also noticed a distinct shift (for the worst) when I became a divorcee - it does seem that if some men know you are single (and some of them still married) you become fair game for lewd advances!!!

I'm sorry you have had to put up with unwanted attention. Yes, we do have to think what can we do to try to ensure it doesn't happen, but actually men should behave better and have more sense!

WilmaKnickersfit Fri 29-Jan-16 02:25:26

wot what's going on? Why do you think nobody on here agrees with you? You sound very down sweetie, is everything OK?

Going back to your original post, I agree it might be a good idea to ask your friend exactly what she means?

And what did the guy today do to upset you like this?

wot Fri 29-Jan-16 01:13:09

Decent

wot Fri 29-Jan-16 01:12:24

Yes, you alway were deent, jingles

wot Fri 29-Jan-16 00:33:33

Yes,yes, let's hear it for t wot.no children, no education or class no grandchildren. Only opinions that seem to Rouse scorn and hostility. Well, thanks for your love and care..not

wot Fri 29-Jan-16 00:02:39

I have loved Gransnet but it has seemed to be that I am the sort of poster that says things people don't like. I was trying to connect but perhaps people just see me as a useless, objectionable pleb. I'm sad because I was happy with this site.