How old was your DD when she gave birth and who was with her?

Just remembered, my friend had her second at home in the early '70's her mum was the one that caught him as he shot out suddenly and nearly hit the floor
My mind boggles a bit as to what position her DD was in at the time.

Mamma TJ i don't think your odd the only way I would be there would be if he couldn't get there in time and she needed my support but I feel it's a very special time between husband and wife that you will never get again and let's be honest some mothers can be pushy.

I was hundreds of miles away when my eldest daughter gave birth, so couldn't have got there if I'd wanted to; but there was never any suggestion that my daughter wanted me to be present.

When my second daughter was pregnant she was surprised to discover that I had not realised that 'of course' she wanted me to be present; she had simply made the assumption that I would be. I checked with her husband to see if he also wanted me to be there and he did. I am so glad now that I was because he and I shared a very special time together (my grandson was premature and it was a very long and difficult birth) and as my son in law has since died I am glad that the memories of my grandson's birth are available to him through me.

When my daughter had her second child with her new husband I went through the same process of checking if my presence was wanted and it very much was. So once again I shared a grandson's difficult birth and bonded with my son in law over the experience. Several times during the birth he told me how glad he was that I was there with him. (Not them note, he thought I was there to support him through the arduous process - although my daughter and I knew that was all part and parcel of supporting her. )

My youngest granddaughter was born thirteen weeks early in New Zealand so there was no chance of me being present at the birth!!

My sons have yet to have children, but I shall be delighted if my lovely daughter in law invites her mum to be present at the birth.

My sister was with her daughter at the birth , the husband told me as much as he loves his mother in law he wishes it had just been him and my niece but he kept silent not to upset anyone , he said it did spoil a very special time

I had just my husband with me when I had our two children, my Mum made it clear that she was to be phoned first with the news but other than that she didn't want to be involved.

My daughter had her first and third child at home and it was just her and my ex son in law at each birth. My middle granddaughter was born in hospital and it never occurred to me to ask to be there either, I was more use looking after my grandson.

My gt-niece had her first baby almost two years ago and had her husband, mum, gran, mum-in-law and sister with her and she is planning to have the same support from them when she has her second baby next month.

It is up to each person to decide who they want with them I believe, if my daughter had asked me I would have stayed with her but I had no expectation that I would be asked.

I only have sons and they were both there when their children were born - I would never have expected to be asked - well it would have been a little difficult with the last two who were born in NZ. When I had mine there was never any thought of my husband being there - he left me at the hospital door and was told firmly to go to work and they would ring him when there was news. How times have changed!

I was 22 when I had DD and not even DH was allowed in the delivery room.
DD does not have children, but had she been pregnant, I could not imagine her wanting a second person in the room.

DD was 38 when she had our only grandchild nearly five years ago. Only her husband was present. As she had a very difficult time, in some ways I was glad not to know anything about it until it was all over and she and baby were fine. Probably, in the circumstances, anyone other than her husband would have just been getting anxious and getting in the way of staff.

Our DD was 25 and I and SIL were there during labour and birth.It was a long and complicated birth and we were all relieved it turned out well.I got to 'cut the cord' it was a wonderful moment.SIL appreciated me being with him.
Not present for birth of other DGC as DIL only wanted DS with her and not even her own Mother.

Wasn't Queen Victoria expected to have the Prime Minister and the Archbishop of Canterbury present to witness the birth?

DD2 was 30 and she asked me to stay with her but eventually she needed a Caesarean but she knew I was staying nearby. Her DH was excellent which is something he often isn't so that was fine. My sister asked me to stay with her but I made sure I went straight out of the room as the baby was being born so that she and her DH could be alone to share the moment.

DD1 was 25 when she had her first with just her husband present and a quick labour. When she had her second, three years later, she called me to get her to hospital as her husband was at work an hours drive away. That was all the time it took and by the time he arrived DGD2 was well and truly here. I felt bad that I had been there rather than him but she does not hang about. She had her third, and last, recently and although mega speedy and quite early, daddy was there this time and I was on holiday.

I'm really a bit ambivalent about this, I really don't know if I'd want to be there or not (the situation hasn't arisen) and I definitely wouldn't have wanted my mum there!
I didn't even have DH at either of dcs' births - he made it abundantly clear he might be a farmer but he wasn't going to be present (in fact he dumped me at the door of the maternity unit and legged it ?)

DD was 31 when she first gave birth and she had her husband with her. The second time she was 37 and again her husband was there, I was looking after GS1 so definitely couldn't have been there.

DD was 25 with her 1st and 27 with her 2nd. I was present for both with SiL and the second delivery was in a birthing pool in the kitchen. My job was to operate the hose and check the water temperature!

I was 31 when I had my first child. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my mother to be there. My husband was with me, which is all I needed. My DD was 23 when she had our DGD. Her husband was there, I would not have been able to be with them even if I'd been asked, as I was working nightshift.

My daughter was 32 but her plan was for only her husband to be present. Perfectly natural I thought and never really considered being there too.
She had a section at 32 weeks due to pre-eclampsia though so we were waiting in the hospital cafe to hear news of both mum and baby. We saw the micro baby when she was stable in NICU but didn't see my daughter till the next day as they kept her in the theatre suite for hours to monitor her.

My DDs both had their husbands there. There was never any talk of my being there but I was attending after wards in the kitchen usually and generally calming everybody down. DD1 the midwife is against a gang of relatives at the birth. The mother and baby need peace and quiet above all else and that until the baby is a week old. I know she makes herself unpopular but deep down that is what most new mothers want once baby is there, but are afraid to say so.

DD was 30. Only her husband was present. Initially she put my name on her birth plan so that I could go into the labour ward and see the baby 'very soon after'. I was surprised, to be honest I would not have expected to be there - it never crossed my mind to invite my mum as my OH was there!

As her pregnancy progressed she opted for a home birth so former plans went out of the window, but she said her DH would ring me when she was in labour. In the event, there was no phone call, baby was born after a fairly quick labour in the early hours of the morning.

I am quite relieved I did not know when she was in labour - I am quite empathetic and would have been imagining the pain!

Through the process, /I had smiled and nodded and said 'Whatever you want.' but I was fairly relieved not to have to be involved as I had had a very traumatic first labour and I was very anxious for her. She also had a rough time.

I used to think that if the dad is able to be present, it should be a private matter for the couple, but reading many posts here has opened my mind. I visited a few hours after my GS was born and on that first visit I was much more concerned with the well-being of my daughter - to see and hold him for the first time was a bonus.

DD was 30 when her first decided to come 6 weeks early. No obstetric details but she had an emergency C section so only medical staff there, not that she would have known.
Somone she knew whose husband was working away had a wonderfully supportive birth partner - Julian Clary!! Good for him!

DD was 29 and her partner was with her. I, my husband and our younger DD were in a waiting room and able to go in and see them one hour after the birth.....such a wonderful moment.

DD was 27 and her husband was with her. We lived far away and went to see them all as soon as she was home

DD was 29, husband and best friend with her (she lived 200 miles away from me then), second due in 10 weeks, now living nearby, I would love to be invited, I wouldn't expect it though, best friend now 200 miles away! Hubby would like me there, fingers crossed ;)

Congratulations on your coming grandchild! Isn't it exciting that the baby you gave birth to all those years ago is now giving birth to one of her own!

I've been at the births of two of my DGC and have to admit, I was thrilled to see them born! But I don't think that means everyone would feel that way. And, IMO, it's up to the parents who's going to be with them, if anyone, especially the mother-to-be - yunno, the one who's actually giving birth (within the context of whatever rules the hospital has, of course).

So I don't think it's "odd' if you wouldn't want to be there MammaTJ. And I certainly can't see insisting, even if that's what you did want. You're entitled to your feelings, IMO. And, in the end, it's all about the comfort level of the parents, again especially the expectant mother. If she doesn't invite her DM, MIL or whoever to be there, then, I believe, they need to respect her wishes.

Unfortunately, I have heard of some GPs insisting or trying to insist that they be present for the birth. So that's probably why DD and SIL "made a point" of letting you know that this wouldn't be happening. They're very they're dealing with someone like you, who wouldn't think of making such demands!

So you're doing fine, in my book, Mamma! Best wishes to you, your DD and SIL - and, most of all, that baby!