Do you call your OH "dad"?

Never! He is my partner not my father. Although it may be a cultural difference, it is just not done where I come from.

About, mum and dad, being a northern, or Scottish thing. This was done, when the children were growing up. When they heard the parents, addressing each other, by name. They naturally started using it too. In order to prevent this, they used mum and dad in front of the children. It became a habit, and they used it, when the children, weren't there, without thinking,

I call my DH Grandad when the grandchildren are here, but that's it!

Weird?

He is poa. It is a wierd name but now I call my ex poa cos that is the name my grandaughter calls him.

I call him "hey you"! Seriously, we have the usual pet names for one another, which we normally use. MIL is like an older sister (he is almost 10 years younger than me) and has always been Anne, agreed on first meeting. He called my mum "mum". When my son was little, there were 3 generations on one side - greats, grands and mum & dad, so one was Grandmama and Grandpumpa, then Grandma and Grandpa and mum & dad. My difficulty is addressing envelopes and greetings cards to MIL - it is generally written as "Anne/Mum". On a slightly different tack, though, my parents were relatively old when I was born (my father 46) and I always really hated receiving letters from them addressed to "Mrs Patrick O'Connell" - that goodness that ghastly custom has died . . . I kept saying that my name was not Patrick, but they couldn't accept that argument. Did anyone else appreciate the suggestion that you were an adjunct to your spouse? Grrr - just the thought of it!!!

We use each other's names and always did, even I. Front of the children, but in front of the grandchildren we are Bubba and Poppa. It started when they were babies to reinforce what they should call us. We could probably stop now but it might be hard to change.

We don't call each other anything when talking to one another - I call him dad when referring to him to our sons and he's always been Papa to the GC. On cards I often put Charlie 2 - he's Charlie 1 - I've no idea where that came from but now I come to think about it he will sometimes shout Charlie when calling to me :-) I certainly wouldn't like it if he started calling me Mother or even Mum!!

I call DH Daddy if I'm talking to the cats about him SiL calls DD Mommy, but he's American. GS3 being half Hungarian calls DS Papa.

ninathenana - I wasn't offended but I do sometimes feel the need to stick up for the north, especially given the fact we seem to be in decline economically

I agree that the habit of telling children for example to 'ask daddy', rather than ask fred (given name) is probably done to discourage children from using their parents first names. I don't mind when children do this with parents or grandparents but it does seem a shame to miss out on the opportunity to use a word like mummy/daddy/grannie, it confirms a very special relationship

baubles Sorry I didn't mean to sound cross, I understand what you meant now.

Having always called my husband Papa our eldest daughter(about 5) came home from school one day and with a huge sigh said "I wish I had a Daddy. Everyone else in my class has a Daddy". Took a little while for her to believe they were the same thing!

My 3 children have each adopted different names for Father, so I now have to remember when talking to the grandchildren which one they use, Papa, Daddy or Baba (this last one is Middle Eastern). But all the Mothers are Mama when the children are very young and then they change to Mummy once they start school.

Hope everyone has a good Christmas full of joy and laughter.

Granjura:

Well I always called my dad 'papa' - but where we lived it made sense

We were visiting Warwick Castle once- and dad went walking ahead and we lost him for a while- I was calling him 'papa, papa' and somebody replied 'Nicole, Nicole' and we all had a good laugh.

grandmac I'm sorry, I obviously didn't explain properly. My FIL was always called Papa by his grandchildren and Dad by his children.

As he aged his daughters stopped calling him Dad and always called him Papa in what seemed to me to be a patronising manner.

My own father was also Dad to his children and Papa to his grandchildren, he wouldn't have been at all pleased to have his 'Dad' status removed.

No, I don't like children using parents or grandparents first names.
I was wondering if that's where the practice of calling you OH 'dad' or "mother" so that young children learnt to use those titles rather than copying the adult being called Bob, Sue or whatever.

I used to call my DH 'Daddy' when the DS were little, to them. It didn't work though as they decided to call us by our given names before they were 10. The DGS are going the same way with us and their parents. What makes children decide to do that? And would you mind?

Iam64 sorry if I offended you. I was thinking of programs such as 'When the Boat Comes In' and some of the Catherine Cookson dramas. As I said 'old fashioned' I do realise it could all be poetic license

I call my DH by his given name but of course refer to him as 'your dad' when speaking to our daughters. He calls me by my given name and I would take great exception to him calling me Mum !

Neither of us are the sort to use 'Darling or that sort of endearment. When he says 'Yes Dear' I cringe as I know it's because he is not really listening.

I have never called my husband 'dad' except when referring to him to the children. BUT my husband got in the habit of calling me 'mum'. It nearly drove me insane, until in the end I just ignored him completely if he called me 'mum'. Thankfully that cured him!

No, we use our given names. I sometimes say "your dad" or "your father" when talking to the children but mostly I'll use his name

I'm a northerner (she shouted loudly) the chip on my shoulder is showing in response to negative comments about not calling your other half "dad" because it's a northern thing. No one in my family, including grandparents who worked int'mill, ever ever called each other by anything other than their given names, unless it was "love". My mother always referred to my dad as "xx love" when talking about my father.

I call mine Alan, his nickname is Algie, he calls me Mum.

No never we call each other by our names but my children call him by his name as he is step-dad to them, the grandchildren either call him by his name or Grandad then his given name

baubles Why is Papa patronising? Our children always called their Father Papa and now he is no longer here we still use that term when talking about him. We pronounce both syllables the same, not with a long a on the last one. My son's children call him Papa too.

I never called my husband (sadly gone) 'dad' if I was talking with him. He knew he'd have deserved a slap if he called me 'mam' (yes, northern but we are are not aliens!) However, if our children were part of the conversation, we might use those names to avoid it sounding as if there were two extra people in the room! So if one child asked me a question, I might say, "What do you think, Dad?" and he would give his opinion to them as their Dad. Sounds complicated but it makes sense to me!

When I was about 14 I was with my paternal grandmother and an entry in the death column caught her eye. After the usual comments she gave a little sigh and said, 'he was the last person to call me 'Connie'. In the family to husband, as well as children she was 'mother' or 'grandma'. Outside the family she was Mrs T****.

I vowed then and there that I would never let that happen to me. It hasn't.