Lateness height of rudeness

I 'm an ' on time person in general. DH always wants to be early, which can be almost as annoying.
I don't know what others think but when I invite someone to our home and say come between 7 and half past I would expect them around 7.10 - 7-20 . They would not be late until after 7.30. DH would still expect them at 7. The same would be true if we were visiting, he'd have to be there at 7.

I'm always way too early. But friends know this and they come early too. In fact I met an old school friend yesterday and for once I was only 10 minutes early. She greeted me with " oh I wondered where you were". I once arranged to meet 15 year old DD and left after 15 minutes of waiting. I then felt really mean, but we were in the same town and I knew she was just looking around. She did learn a lesson though.

Excellent way of dealing with an habitual latecomer, luckylegs. A knock it on the head approach, so to speak. People with bad habits won't change the bad habits unless the habits inconvenience them as well as other people.

I couldn't take the stress if it happened all the time, would mention it and say you hate waiting at places on your own, if it continued I would fade out of the picture. If she values the friendship she would make the effort. Once going to the airport, three of us sitting in a taxi waiting for a friend who was always late, the driver said sorry but I will gave to charge you waiting time. When the late friend swept into the taxi one of the group told her she would have to pay the extra, she sulked most of the morning. It didn't happen again.

I once read that habitually late people are attention seekers, it's the " look at me" types who want to make an entrance
That figures, suzied!!
Never thought of that one, but it does fit

I'm punctual and can't understand why others find it impossible. Luckily most of my family and friends are the same so I don't have much to worry about. I sometimes think it would be nice to be more relaxed and casual about arrangements but it's just not in me. I'm ready waiting ages before I need to be. Always.

There's no excuse for being late in my opinion. Most people have mobile phones these days. A text or a quick call doesn't hurt if you are running late.

I was brought up to be punctual but my ex was (probably still is) habitually un-punctual and that really drove me up the wall. I got so fed up waiting for him on street corners when we were doing the Saturday shopping. If only we'd had mobile phones in those days. Unfortunately DS2 , though not as bad, takes after his father.

I once read that habitually late people are attention seekers, it's the " look at me" types who want to make an entrance.

I am in your camp and that way I am not stressed out. It must be a problem waiting for somebody who is habitually late but I am lucky, my friends are usually on time.

People come in three types. The too early , the bang on timers, by the skin of their teeth and the too late. . I am always too early, DH has to be just in time and it drives me mad.

Can't stand lateness, it's just rude. We had acquaintances once, who we invited every now and then to dinner at our house, or they would invite us to theirs.

If we arrived at their house on time, nothing was ever on the go, and they'd spend ages pottering around and by the time the first course was on the table it was 10 o'clock and I'd lost my will to live appetite.

If they were coming to our house for example dinner at 7.00pm I'd time it to be 7.30 just in case, then at 8.00 they'd ring/text to say they were running late and would be there in 30 minutes which usually ended up being an hour at least.

Needless to say we stopped inviting them and accepting their invitations, it was just too stressful.

I hate it too. Probably everyone does, even habitually late people, when someone does it to them.

This is my OH.

I always manage to arrive on the dot, however hard I try not to. I have a good friend who is always, always late - very late; we ran a business together with another friend for 7 years and she nearly drove us to drink. Her worst transgression, which I have never forgiven her for, was when I organised a big dinner party for DH's 60th birthday which involved travelling by minibuses to a restaurant some 30 miles away. She was 40 minutes late, despite being told the bus would leave 30 minutes before it actually would, and we arrived at the restaurant so late that the plans to mingle and have drinks and canapes before the meal had to be abandoned. With hindsight, we should just have left without her and her husband ...
I would nip this thing in the bud TT and make it clear how infuriating it is; alternatively, start to arrive late yourself to make the point..

We have been very good friends with a couple for years - she is an absolute joy, but she is incapable of being on time for anything. We overlook it because we love her to bits, but it is extremely irritating. I can't remember the last time i was late for anything.

One of my daughter's friends, an habitual late arriver, turned up for DD's baby shower two hours late, just as everyone was leaving . She apologised, with some convoluted story about her children holding her up, and then proceeded to sit down and look at the menu By this time it was only my DD and me still sitting there. Awkward for me to call the shots. My DD put up with it for 20 minutes and then said, 'sorry, but we have to go now'. So she was left on her own with her lunch.
Sorry, but it's just rude, plain and simple. We all have clocks, we all have mobile phones. She could have called or texted and said she wouldn't be able to get there until such and such a time, and would we still be there then?. My DD could have said, no we'll have left by then, don't worry.

I'm probably related to Tiny Two's friend...... I really struggle with punctuality.

It is not that my time is more important than anyone else although I understand that this is how it may appear to others, just that although well organised in many matters, I seem to misjudge traffic/mislay keys/specs or other bits and pieces and run late.

I made a huge effort recently as I was beginning to annoy even myself and have improved. In the past, I was not late for work or meetings, appointments etc., so proved to myself that I was not a lost case - if I could manage for these appointments, I could manage for my family too (for it is with those that I am my most hapless).

As a 'later-er' I would mention your disquiet to your friend. Tell her that you are lonely sitting waiting for her and that you would be much happier if she could try a little harder to be on time.

Alternatively, do as my family have done in the past, and suggest a meeting time fifteen (or more) minutes before you intend to arrive. If she should be early, it would give her a taste of what sitting alone feels like!

rubbish with those emoticons, aren't I?

oR not "of" delivery... (tchblush)

but why should her time be more precious than yours? Don't think that is a good enough excuse. I would go home after 30 minutes; or go shopping and pop round to the cafe some time later...
I'm used to lateness, it runs in my mother's family, DH and I are punctual to a fault, arriving early ...
The French have a proverb I was brought up with "Punctuality is the King's perogative" and I think it goes for everyone; whether dentist, friend of delivery man - if not, it should come with a vild excuse.

My DH is always late, and it makes me
It's the height of bad manners in my opinion and he's so bad everyone who knows him gives him a time upto an hour early.
I think it's very disrespectful and pretty much saying 'My time's much more important than yours'
I've told him that the only time in his life he'll be punctual is at his funeral

If someone is late for any kind of meeting with me without apologising first perhaps by text I usually say 'its fine don't worry but I will still have to leave at so and so. I will not let someone else waste my time for me.

I'm a stickler for punctuality - habitual lateness is the height of rudeness IMO.

If your friend had a job interview or was meeting The Queen I bet she wouldn't be late.

In our group of friends we had one who was always late (impeccably good-mannered and kind in all other respects). After one too many times hanging around we set off without her and she had great problems eventually meeting-up with us - she's never been late since!

She may not mean to be late, but she does not mean to be early, as her time is more important than yours.