Sort of a thoughtful present but......

I hope your present to him was a waste bin to put it in Charleygirl

No rosequartz it was designer clothing!

It's the most thoughtful of gifts that we truly cherish, and usually it has nothing to do with how much you spent!

Right, even a secondhand car bonnet?
I think you must be kidding NatalieMartin!

rosequartz and loopylou I think that NatalieMartin was having a go at me being scathing about my ex only spending £2. It was not the money it was the rubbish gift, irrespective of cost.

I understand you Charleygirl at least (as others have said) Mr P does put thought into his gifts!

One year when we were very, very strapped financially, he bought me a code words book from the £1 shop. I was very chuffed, as I did not expect anything, and I enjoy word puzzles of most types.

Irrespective of cost he put some thought into the gift phoenix.

X once bought me an excercise bike, as we owned a Gym and Fitness Centre at the time which had 6 of the same bikes it seemed a bit pointless.
He was really good at buying presents so that one was a surprise.

DH is well aware that birthday and Christmas presents should not be something that should come out of the household budget! Sadly this does not mean I get lovely thoughtful gifts. Well, it does, but it's me who does the thinking. We went through a bad time financially some years ago and any money for gifts had to be carefully spent. We chose our own gifts to avoid disappointment. Unfortunately DH still wants to do this and I am left constantly hoping he will produce something lovely he has chosen for me. Still waiting.

rosequartz how on earth did you find that photo?!

My problem is the other way round. Most christmases I get some sheila fleet jewellery but dh says he needs nothing! So each year it is a struggle to find something he would like. I usually end up giving him money. Mind you he still has the money I gave him last year!

My ex once bought me a hand drill as I kept asking him to fix things.

Another time he bought me long handled shears so I did not have to bend down to cut the edges of the lawn (I was 8 months pregnant at the time.)

To be fair he bought me my first bike at age 40 and then sneaked DC out to watch me try it out and fall off. They all found it very funny.

He also bought me a lovely coat which was too small so he sent it back and never replaced it!

Yes I did say "My ex"!

My ex once bought me a bottle of port, a bottle of sherry and a bottle of martini. I don't drink. He was an alcoholic so he had them all in one night.

I was hoping for perfume. I got a colander. It's how to respond that's the issue. Tips please. This is not the first time my husband has done this sort of thing and I never know whether to laugh or cry when he looks at me all expectantly

Did the colander fit his head well?!

I was quite restrained considering. Seriously though often (over the years) a relative has presented me with something I would never have chosen in a month of sundays and it's so hard to look pleased. don't want to sound ungrateful or for them to think I don't appreciate the thought - however ill conceived. But it si very hard

Yesterday something happened that made me think about this thread.

Hubby ,who does not 'do' presents or send cards ! was on the computer and he started grinning and rubbing his hands like Scrooge with a feather up his backside.

I said "What's up with you ". He , " I've bought you a Christmas present this year". I said " Bloody hell , what is it ". After some further piddle taking I finally got a reply.

" You know you wanted the Baroness Trumpington biography, well I've just bought it for a 1p (penny) mind you the p &p was 99p".

What a love!!!!!!

"

at "Scrooge with a feather up his backside"

POGS! That's true love for you...

If you knew him Ana it is

POGS are you sure that he could really afford it? There will have to be some belt tightening I think.

That's a good point. He can have bread and dripping for tea.

Sadly these men suffer from gift hint blindness. It is a condition that can afflict anyone but more men suffer it than women. The main symptom of gift hint blindness is the total inability to recognise when someone is subtlety, or in the worst cases, directly hinting/telling about desired gifts. Sufferers often misinterpret an everyday comment as a direct hint. Therefore a conversation regarding a broken toilet seat could be misconstrued as a request to be given a new one. One about damage to a car bonnet might be seen as a desire for a replacement. However remembering a situation when he was chastised for wasting money, the gift blind husband thinks his wife will be doubly happy if he buys a second hand one as not only will it replace the one she has mentioned but will also be cheaper.
How can we help the unfortunate sufferers of this appalling condition? If the recipient is less than overjoyed the sufferer is surprised and upset that his gift has not been appreciated in the way he expected. After all, in the mind of the sufferer, the gift was asked for. The worst thing to do to a gift hint blindness sufferer is to be unappreciative when you open the carefully wrapped gift that you have convinced yourself is a tablet or Hudl only to find it is a tyre inflator. This helps neither the recipient nor the sufferer.
Further research needs to be done into this common but often ignored affliction. Until a cure or some sort of successful behaviour modification therapy is discovered, there are two main ways to help the sufferer and the recipient. The first way is give the sufferer a written list showing, not only, the gifts required but also where they can be bought, how much they will cost and a date by which they should have purchased them. The second way is to take him to the shop, point out the gift that you want and to stand over him whilst he buys it.
Living with a gift hint blindness sufferer can be very challenging. The best thing to do is find a website such as Gransnet and start a thread which will allow you to vent your frustration and disappointment. You will also find that as others post on your thread that you are not alone.

One year my dearly beloved bought me the Nigella cookbook about being a Domestic Goddess and a bread maker.

My brother once gave DH a Santa suit as what else do you buy the man who has everything. The same year he gave me a gift wrapped roll of black bin bags.

Having taken vqs hints on board I have found the best solution is to expect that that is what will happen and then go out and spend quite a lot on something I would really like and then I feel much better.