I am so fed up about being let down.

Good point about extra adult, Nonnie.
Katek - I think your problem may be you have been so enthusiastic, versatile and hardworking in the past that no one else thinks they would measure up!

I know I probably should allow the consequences of their non actions to occur, but then I would let down a cast and crew of over 40 people, some of them children. It's not their fault, they've all worked very hard and the littlies are so excited. I'm also concerned about laying it on the line in case it prejudices my friendships, but the result of that strategy is me becoming more stressed and resentful. For my sins I also stage manage the production so all the logistics of organising set construction, lighting, sound, pyrotechnics fall to me as well. I've also got landed with creating a magical Santa's grotto out of a small ante room for the Xmas Fair. Thank goodness for yards of cheap organza and a staple gun.

I agree with all those who say confront the slackers.

I think it is essential that the singing teacher has another adult present and not for the reason stated. DS and DiL each sometimes work with teenagers and have been told to never be alone in the room with them because they could be accused of a misdemeanour so need a witness at all times. In their case they make sure a pianist is always present.

Its very frustrating Katy when it all falls to one person. But I think there are the doers and the slackers in all areas of life.

We have a very similar thing going on at the parent led toddlers group I go to with DGS, there is a supposed rota of jobs - set up room with activities and play areas, prepare snack, arrange and set up craft item per week, story time and songs, clear up and clean down at the end of the morning. Even with the rota all but the story time/songs gets left to the 3 or 4 grandmas and the younger mothers take the morning as a social event and we are run ragged.

Don't know what the solution is other than step back but then I feel in my case that the children would miss out... stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sorry not much help.

I have the same thing with my choir - it is an informal group and there is no three line whip - but occasionally when we have a gig looming it does get a bit irritating when attendance is poor - always for very good reasons of course - but I have to turn up every week!!!

There are times when the only thing you can do is lay it all on the line.

If this is making you feel stressed and you are not enjoying it then you have to be honest with all the other people. You say that two of the main people are close friends, so, explain to them. The singing instructor should tell the teenagers that their behaviour is not acceptable. If you don't tell people how you feel , but just brood on it and get upset, how can you expect them to know ?

I hope they all step up to line and the production goes ahead with everyone having a good time.

I sympathise. We have been involved with similar things and it does get exhausting trying to keep all the balls in the air. DH wrote and directed last year's village panto and got very frustrated when people didn't turn up to rehearse. He found it helped to break down rehearsals into small parts initially so that only a few people were involved at a time and they weren't standing about waiting to do their bits. Also it meant a lot of the time they could rehearse here so we would have 3 people at 6:30 then one would go away half an hour later and those remaining would be joined by two more then an hour later they would all go and someone would come and practice some singing. Closer to the event they had to have larger groups and do longer scenes and eventually have everyone. It involved lots of spreadsheets planning the rehearsal schedule.

I think that until you are fed up enough (or, worse! too stressed and frazzled) to not pick up the tab when people let you down in this way, they'll carry on doing it. If the panto didn't happen because people didn't pull their weight, they might buckle down.

Then again, they might not. I wouldn't have your patience or strength. I'd have said sod it long since.

I wish!! All my troubles would disappear at the end of each broadcast!

Call a meeting with the people you should be able to delegate to and tell them what you've just told us. Emphasise your willingness to get the panto out but also your genuine need for support especially in view of health issues.
Put someone in with the singing instructor to monitor the teens' behaviour. Could she tell them how they make her feel?
Is there anyone in the community who could be assistant to the wardrobe person?
You don't live in Ambridge do you?! ??

Are you Linda Snell?