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Is it a generational thing?

(59 Posts)
Lilygran Thu 24-Sept-15 15:50:03

When I dip into Mumsnet, I find really offensive comments and really bad language. Most forums I visit are the same, even ones supposedly devoted to academic discussion. On GN there's strong peer pressure to avoid being rude and intemperate. The moderation is pretty severe, as well. So, is it just because we're older and more easily offended? Or are the women who post on GN different from the kids on Mumsnet? Anyone moved from one to the other?

SueDoku Fri 25-Sept-15 13:28:24

I use both sites. In general I prefer MN (sorry) as the age difference really is very apparent - and I'm not just talking about the swearing... This site is lovely, and there are some good discussions here - but they don't 'grab' me like the AIBU ones 'over the way'.
People seem to take offense very easily, over things that wouldn't cause the bat of an eyelid on MN, and it really does seem a bit staid by comparison (oh and by the way, I'm 67). I'll crawl back under my rock now...

Maggiemaybe Fri 25-Sept-15 15:03:48

I don't know how you find the time, SueDoku. I look at MN occasionally, but found myself skimming through their thread on Dr Foster today and lost half an hour. Nearly 600 posts! I'll stick with GN's 20 odd. grin

petra Fri 25-Sept-15 16:47:26

SueDoku. I know exactly what you mean,and I'm 69. I couldn't possibly post stuff on here that I post on MN.

thatbags Fri 25-Sept-15 17:30:52

Thank you for those posts, suedoku and petra. I sometimes feel really out on a limb here not taking offence and arguing that it's how words are used that's important, not which.

Mamie Fri 25-Sept-15 17:45:29

I agree suedoku, petra and bags.
I am 65 and swear merrily in context. grin
I hate the idea of something being "generational" because that seems extraordinarily narrow and limiting. Some of my generation (including me) demonstrated in '68 and helped found the women's movement of the 70s. Why would we want to censor language on an open forum?
I like the cut and thrust of debate on Mumsnet and I spend more time there for that reason.

merlotgran Fri 25-Sept-15 17:58:35

Having read this thread I think I'll have a look at mumsnet. Do they have a sense of humour?

Anya Fri 25-Sept-15 17:59:46

Nothing wrong with a well placed expletive.

Ana Fri 25-Sept-15 18:00:55

I don't swear very often, and never in public, but I don't find the words in themselves offensive, especially when used to demonstrate a poster's anger or just plain bewilderment.

There will always be some on this site, however, who will adopt the moral high-ground and object to swearing, even if an acronym is used...hmm

Leticia Fri 25-Sept-15 18:24:40

I find this site to be generally quite laid back and tolerant.
I get shocked by many of the posts on Mumsnet because, on the whole, posters are younger but completely intolerant of opinions that are different and they can be very unpleasant and rude.
Yes, they do have a sense of humour, merlotgran and some are extremely funny but some don't get it at all. It depends on the forum- best not to enter some!

merlotgran Fri 25-Sept-15 18:28:12

some are extremely funny but some don't get it at all

Same as Gransnet then. grin

Ana Fri 25-Sept-15 18:35:09

grin

Mamie Fri 25-Sept-15 18:40:55

I find Mumsnet very funny, Merlot. I don't find it any more tolerant or intolerant than Gransnet tbh. I also really like the range of professional expertise that you get on there.
AIBU can be a bit robust!

townie Fri 25-Sept-15 18:45:25

I feel just the same as Suedoku Mamie and other MN supporters. I spend much more time on MN and find it generally more stimulating and interesting.
GN is pleasant to dip in to and has some useful advice sometimes but is a bit staid. But then as a baby boomer feminist I've never aspired to be 'lady-like', or indeed a 'lady'- though I do value good manners in the sense of being considerate, etc.

Leticia Fri 25-Sept-15 19:02:28

I find MN is more addictive -purely because some of the posters have such weird views! Some of the threads in 'classics' are priceless!

baubles Fri 25-Sept-15 21:14:11

Another Mumsnet fan here. I admit that when I first happened across it I was put off by some of the posts which seemed very harsh to me. Five years of grandparenthood later I find it a great source of information on a variety of child related subjects.
I've seen many examples of great kindness and compassion too. Just look beyond the language.

If I'm awake during the night I turn to Mumsnet Classics for entertainment, lots of the threads are an absolute hoot, I've actually laughed till I've cried reading some of their shenanigans.

I'm definitely a convert. smile

janerowena Fri 25-Sept-15 21:23:20

It is very funny, and yes they can be very kind. Once you find the area that interests you the most and stay on it, you soon get to recognise the names just as you do on here. It's big enough not to worry that you will come across someone you know, too! I have never come across DD or any of my friends, that I am aware of. Each separate forum probably moves at the same speed as the whole of gransnet, apart from chat and AIBU of course.

ninathenana Sat 26-Sept-15 11:15:57

I've just tried to do some 'lurking' over there. I can't open any threads. Is that just me or do you have to join to see anything ?

thatbags Sat 26-Sept-15 11:25:39

"Look beyond the language" is excellent advice, baubles. As an Ecuadorean friend of mine used to say: Listen to the meaning, not the words.

kitty1898 Sat 26-Sept-15 15:37:00

My friend swore with frustration at her ipod and it replied "that wasn't very nice." It's a speaking app called Siri.

annodomini Sat 26-Sept-15 16:07:37

I hope my car never learns to talk back. shock

Coolgran65 Sat 26-Sept-15 20:40:50

I swear in a gentle fashion.... if there is such a thing.
I use bl**dy, and cr*p, etc but never say the F word..... except.... if I am really really angry ... it is saved for effect. And even then would never use it ouside of the family. Because I don't use the F word in everyday language it has a great shock value when needed. angry

Definitely have never ever used the C word.

On the other hand my dh could get a gold medal in swearing Dh was in the RNavy for 9 years and was thereafter in crime prevention. Swearing is a part of his language.

There was little swearing in the home when I was growing up. My father worked as a docker and I'd never heard him use the F word. On one occasion I mentioned this to my son and son laughed. He said that 'Granda could swear like a trooper'.

I consider myself broad minded and young at heart, I'm not staid in any fashion ( I think ) perhaps I never learned to swear openly hmm - doesn't mean I'm not thinking it

glassortwo Sat 26-Sept-15 21:04:01

I have to admit my favourite word at the moment is don't look if you will be offended Tw*t its adaptable to most situations.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 26-Sept-15 21:14:53

grin

Maggiemaybe Sat 26-Sept-15 21:16:30

Oh, glassortwo, twit doesn't even count as swearing these days. wink

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 26-Sept-15 21:18:28

grin again. Lol