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Is it a generational thing?

(59 Posts)
Lilygran Thu 24-Sept-15 15:50:03

When I dip into Mumsnet, I find really offensive comments and really bad language. Most forums I visit are the same, even ones supposedly devoted to academic discussion. On GN there's strong peer pressure to avoid being rude and intemperate. The moderation is pretty severe, as well. So, is it just because we're older and more easily offended? Or are the women who post on GN different from the kids on Mumsnet? Anyone moved from one to the other?

gettingonabit Sun 27-Sept-15 15:05:51

Lily I was about to say the same. Although swearing is common on Msnet, and the discussions are generally pretty robust, there only has to be the slightest hint, intended or otherwise, of racism, sexism or any kind of -ism and posters take offence in droves.

There's an interesting thread going at the moment where posters are going crazy in a debate over a child being given an emergency lift by a GRANDMOTHER!!! WTAFgrin

Lilygran Sun 27-Sept-15 12:29:27

Interesting the way this thread has largely focused on swearing!

petra Sun 27-Sept-15 09:39:20

"Is it a generational thing" My 6year old GD loves to shock with her swear words. Her latest favorite is, wanker. My 9 year old GS wouldn't dream of swearing.?

Nelliemoser Sun 27-Sept-15 08:38:59

Oh dear. I swear more than I should usually in frustration at life and frustrating people and my computer when it does not do what I want it to. and when other drivers drive too close or I hurt myself.
I need to reform! Wash my mouth out with soap and water.

Indinana Sun 27-Sept-15 08:28:51

Oh swearing is part of my everyday. I never swear abusively, only in frustration (mostly). You know, the dropped cup (or the dropped stitch!), the phone call just as you've sat down, the rain when you've got a lineful of washing - a muttered 'for fuck's sake' is my usual response to these things grin.
I totally agree with thatbags - it's all about context. Use any word in an abusive manner and it's offensive. The usage is offensive, not the word.
I hate the idea of something being "generational" because that seems extraordinarily narrow and limiting - yes, Mamie, how very true. Though I do think with age we generally become a little more relaxed and accepting of some things, and the knee doesn't jerk quite as readily as it once did.
I often pop across to MN and love to lurk on threads, giggling to myself at the rapid crossfire and breakneck speed of some discussions. It is fun! And since the arrival of GC I have found the site is very useful for advice, shared experiences, reviews and so on.

thatbags Sun 27-Sept-15 08:19:50

'Meaning' is exactly what's important to me. If I say fuck when I drop a hammer on my toe (if!) it doesn't mean the same thing as if I'd told someone angrily to fuck off.

PRINTMISS Sun 27-Sept-15 08:16:42

Just read through all these, and I feel quite a freak, I just don't swear, never have, and it would not come easy for me to do so, I think. My grandmother swore at us all the time as children, so I know all the words, even the modern ones, listening to various conversations, so I suppose really it is a question of habit, rather than the 'meaning' of the words. Interestingly enough, our son, who doesn't talk, manages the word 'bugger' beautifully, if he happens to hurt himself in some way or the other. No idea where it got that from.

glassortwo Sat 26-Sept-15 21:19:20

Maggie and so satisfying wink

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 26-Sept-15 21:18:28

grin again. Lol

Maggiemaybe Sat 26-Sept-15 21:16:30

Oh, glassortwo, twit doesn't even count as swearing these days. wink

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 26-Sept-15 21:14:53

grin

glassortwo Sat 26-Sept-15 21:04:01

I have to admit my favourite word at the moment is don't look if you will be offended Tw*t its adaptable to most situations.

Coolgran65 Sat 26-Sept-15 20:40:50

I swear in a gentle fashion.... if there is such a thing.
I use bl**dy, and cr*p, etc but never say the F word..... except.... if I am really really angry ... it is saved for effect. And even then would never use it ouside of the family. Because I don't use the F word in everyday language it has a great shock value when needed. angry

Definitely have never ever used the C word.

On the other hand my dh could get a gold medal in swearing Dh was in the RNavy for 9 years and was thereafter in crime prevention. Swearing is a part of his language.

There was little swearing in the home when I was growing up. My father worked as a docker and I'd never heard him use the F word. On one occasion I mentioned this to my son and son laughed. He said that 'Granda could swear like a trooper'.

I consider myself broad minded and young at heart, I'm not staid in any fashion ( I think ) perhaps I never learned to swear openly hmm - doesn't mean I'm not thinking it

annodomini Sat 26-Sept-15 16:07:37

I hope my car never learns to talk back. shock

kitty1898 Sat 26-Sept-15 15:37:00

My friend swore with frustration at her ipod and it replied "that wasn't very nice." It's a speaking app called Siri.

thatbags Sat 26-Sept-15 11:25:39

"Look beyond the language" is excellent advice, baubles. As an Ecuadorean friend of mine used to say: Listen to the meaning, not the words.

ninathenana Sat 26-Sept-15 11:15:57

I've just tried to do some 'lurking' over there. I can't open any threads. Is that just me or do you have to join to see anything ?

janerowena Fri 25-Sept-15 21:23:20

It is very funny, and yes they can be very kind. Once you find the area that interests you the most and stay on it, you soon get to recognise the names just as you do on here. It's big enough not to worry that you will come across someone you know, too! I have never come across DD or any of my friends, that I am aware of. Each separate forum probably moves at the same speed as the whole of gransnet, apart from chat and AIBU of course.

baubles Fri 25-Sept-15 21:14:11

Another Mumsnet fan here. I admit that when I first happened across it I was put off by some of the posts which seemed very harsh to me. Five years of grandparenthood later I find it a great source of information on a variety of child related subjects.
I've seen many examples of great kindness and compassion too. Just look beyond the language.

If I'm awake during the night I turn to Mumsnet Classics for entertainment, lots of the threads are an absolute hoot, I've actually laughed till I've cried reading some of their shenanigans.

I'm definitely a convert. smile

Leticia Fri 25-Sept-15 19:02:28

I find MN is more addictive -purely because some of the posters have such weird views! Some of the threads in 'classics' are priceless!

townie Fri 25-Sept-15 18:45:25

I feel just the same as Suedoku Mamie and other MN supporters. I spend much more time on MN and find it generally more stimulating and interesting.
GN is pleasant to dip in to and has some useful advice sometimes but is a bit staid. But then as a baby boomer feminist I've never aspired to be 'lady-like', or indeed a 'lady'- though I do value good manners in the sense of being considerate, etc.

Mamie Fri 25-Sept-15 18:40:55

I find Mumsnet very funny, Merlot. I don't find it any more tolerant or intolerant than Gransnet tbh. I also really like the range of professional expertise that you get on there.
AIBU can be a bit robust!

Ana Fri 25-Sept-15 18:35:09

grin

merlotgran Fri 25-Sept-15 18:28:12

some are extremely funny but some don't get it at all

Same as Gransnet then. grin

Leticia Fri 25-Sept-15 18:24:40

I find this site to be generally quite laid back and tolerant.
I get shocked by many of the posts on Mumsnet because, on the whole, posters are younger but completely intolerant of opinions that are different and they can be very unpleasant and rude.
Yes, they do have a sense of humour, merlotgran and some are extremely funny but some don't get it at all. It depends on the forum- best not to enter some!