If I were a young woman now...

"Youth is wasted on the young..." So true, in my case.

I had no confidence as a young woman. Today, I'd have thought for myself instead of blindly following friends into teaching. I'd demand that there were Bolshi, strong women giving younger women careers advice before they left school ;) (Don't think many existed then. If one was in any way academic, careers in medicine, law or teaching seemed to be the only paths open.)

I'd also tell myself to trust my instincts more, and to follow my dreams more and to not fear what might go wrong, but look to all the opportunities that might open up to me if I took more leaps of faith. There is still time to write that book, paint that picture and see the Pyramids I suppose, but it's only now that I appreciate we do spend so many of our young, vital years just settling for what comes along...being unsure and conforming.

The wisdom and confidence that ageing brings ought to be bottled for the young. :D

No regrets. Life is good as it is, but if only I'd grabbed some of the chances that came my way in my teens and twenties. I'll just have to make sure I follow my own advice in my sixties!

I am not sure if I would marry either.

If I had my time again, I would try to care less about what other people thought of me.

My advice would be to consider at length whether or not to get married and if you do decide, then don't leap into that commitment too young. Just live a bit and try being self supporting for a few years. Don't be fooled by the myth of children being little angels and that is all rosy - don't be tied down to the domestic routine without due consideration, especially if you are trying to fit it all in with career ambitions. I truly don't believe you can "have it all" unless you are very fortunate and have lots of help - that's what I would tell a younger woman.

Married at 22 as well. I wouldn't change a thing.

Probably her, then. She looks like she's said F* Off a few times!

Well it was posted to my facebook page - with a picture of Helen Mirren celebrating her 70th. Which does not mean she actually said that- but it looks like it.

granjura - Did Helen Mirren say that? It does sound like good advice except in the 60s the F word was EXTREMELY rude and not one my prudish young self would have used.

Funny so many of us worked for the Midland Bank. I started there in 1960, did the initial (very short) training at the Chancery Lane Branch and then did two years in small London branches. It was a terribly sexist environment and only the male juniors were encouraged to take banking exams and get promotion.

I like Helen Mirren's advice:

I'd say F**k of* a lot more often than I did.

I don't think I would have done much differently, perhaps not bothered trying to do chemistry GCE so that I didn't have to make a last minute change to Art. I realise now that my parents were way ahead of their time and let me make my own decisions.

Perhaps there was a man that I wish now I had slept with. So sexy and clever I'm sure it would have been a night to remember, but virginity seemed so important in those days.

Like you NotTooOld, the swinging sixties didn't impact on me - I wish I had been braver with boyfriends and not such a scared y cat (? Prude ?). Also wish I had gone to University, but there is so much more choice of less academic topics now. I always enjoyed my jobs/career as a Secretary, and later as a quite high level PA, but wish I had realised that I was creative sewing wise and done that as a career. I married at 21, but you can't just say to the man you have fallen for 'go away for a few years while I experiment'. We've been very happily married for 43 years, two DC and 3 lovely GC, so am very happy. I would advise young women today not to leave it too late to have children if possible as it is more tiring the older you get.

I would definitely not get married at 21 like I did. I wish I had experimented a bit instead of rushing into marriage.
And I would fervently hope to go to university. Then travel, working abroad, hopefully, for at least a few years.
Oh, to get a second chance at it all!

I would have married the boyfriend I had at 22. We lived together for a short time then split. We always remained friends, despite both living all over the globe. I married him two years ago instead . Amazing church wedding. Tea party in red cross hall... He was 60 and I was 61! I had children within a marriage but we often talk about how we wished we had a child. He is godfather to my eldest, who is 42. Life is amazing.

You're right, janerowena. At the time I always thought those stories about the Swinging Sixties could not be true but now I know they were true. Everyone appears to have been at it apart from me (and perhaps you!) I remember being very shocked when the male half of a couple my fiancé and I were friends with remarked that of course they slept together as 'you wouldn't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on'. I must have been a terrible prude although I did make up for it later when I was between marriages.

It does! I was the eldest, she told me so many horror stories. She then went on to have three more daughters who were all spared those stories, and it was ages before I discovered that they were all leading far more exciting lives than I was - she had assumed that I would pass on my 'knowledge' to them! It says a lot about our upbringing that we were so wary of sharing our experiences with each other.

janerowena, that rings a loud bell with me. I remained virginal until after my first marriage, being heavily influenced by my Methodist mother. Yes, the marriage was a disaster and ended in divorce. I was extremely miffed to discover years and years later that my slightly younger sister had not done the same! So, like you, I would have put in a bit of practice before trotting off down the aisle. Religion has a lot to answer for!

I would have gone to bed with the same number of people but been more selective [was very naive and stupid in my youth].

I would have gone to bed with more people, instead of being such a puritan. Then I would have known that ex was useless in bed and not wasted so many years on such a spiteful man.

Quite simple really 2 points ... I would have trained as nurse and had a wage all my life instead of being influenced by my dominant mother as I have been called to nurse all my life anyway ... during work and my family ... it was what I wanted to be.

I would have learned to drive when young as trying to succeed later never happened and it has ruined my life ... limited my work chances and limited my horizons as I live in the country.

kitty It was a very respectable choice to work at Midland Bank in those days!

I would follow my dream and not do what my parents wanted me to do...sighs

I worked in Midland Bank too!

I have had a very happy and fulfilled life - successful career and two brilliant children and a supportive husband. I married young but delayed having children till I was fully qualified professionally and had a reasonable cv. The only downside is that having children a bit later and daughter having a career and not having children till her mid thirties means that I am a fairly old grandmother. 'You can't have everything'!

I would tell my younger self to be more self confident about my looks and my ability.

Interesting question as young women today do seem to have so much more choice. They appear to be much more well informed and have more ambition than I ever had. However I was lucky enough to have had a free university education and there was much less pressure on me to achieve so I really enjoyed the freedom. As a result I failed to complete my degree course and eventually went to teacher training college where I eventually got my degree (again with a student grant - no loans to repay). Mistakes like this couldn't happen today with the student loan system so a character like mine could not be built! My career as a teacher was very successful and I think it was meant to be!

I cannot feel real regret because my life has made me what I am, though I would never marry again (even when pregnant).

I'm surprised to see how many of us regret marrying so young! I married at 20, and knew very little about life. I too, listened to my mother's advice to marry a man who could provide.

If I had my time again, I wouldn't have married so young, and would have seen more of life before making such a crucial decision.