Gransnet forums

Chat

If I were a young woman now...

(58 Posts)
Indinana Wed 16-Sept-15 10:39:55

How would you approach life if you were a young woman in today's world?

www.facebook.com/kelly.evans.921677/videos/10153349590986645/

janeainsworth Thu 17-Sept-15 14:56:13

I thought so too Stansgran. I was hoping Jingl would come on and say they were a load of moaning minnies but she has let me down grin

inishowen Thu 17-Sept-15 15:03:41

I would not be so bothered about having a boyfriend. It was all about status when I was at school. Instead I'd buckle down and study. Then I would have had the qualifications to go to Art School. I'd have loved to study textiles. I married at 20 and am not sorry I did that as we're still happy together. I just wish I'd had a career first, and one that I could have gone back to after i had the children.

grandmac Thu 17-Sept-15 15:32:48

hildajenniJ and pinkprincess I too wouldn't go into nursing now. I loved my training years (mostly!) and subsequent career but today there is a distinct lack of compassion and care in the nurses with whom I have had any contact. I think I would like to be an archaeologist or an historian.

I would ask my Mum and Dad all those questions which will now never be answered. And I would keep a diary.

But I hope I would have the same wonderful husband and my lovely children and grandchildren, for whom I am so grateful.

Nana3 Thu 17-Sept-15 19:32:29

After I left home I made good friends and had a better life. Then after I met the man I later married we moved back to my home town to be closer to my family. Sort of forgot why I'd left. Bad move, I wouldn't do it again.

LynC Thu 17-Sept-15 20:03:12

I married young against my mothers advice--- she was right!, but my divorce changed my life. Although I made a very succesful second marriage and had another two children I realised that in a different world to that of my parents and grandparents I would have to take responsibility for my own future n those of my children though. I too worked at the Midland Bank on leaving school! I went to uni when the children went to school and had a very successful teaching career! My only regret was choosing teaching over accountancy.

etheltbags1 Thu 17-Sept-15 20:45:01

I would have worked harder at school and got some A levels instead of slogging at night classes, I would have gone into teaching or law instead of just drifting from job to job always seeking something else.
However I cant do anything now and I have got the most adorable DGD and DD so life hasn't been that bad.

AlgeswifeVal Thu 17-Sept-15 21:19:30

I would have worked harder at school. I would have liked to leave home but not marry to have to do it. I would have liked a better occupation like being in the police force or even better in forensics.
What I did was got married at 21yrs to get away from my father as he was victorian strict and I worked as a GPO telephonist as soon as i left school at 15 yrs.

Venus Thu 17-Sept-15 22:38:18

I'm surprised to see how many of us regret marrying so young! I married at 20, and knew very little about life. I too, listened to my mother's advice to marry a man who could provide.

If I had my time again, I wouldn't have married so young, and would have seen more of life before making such a crucial decision.

Grandma2213 Fri 18-Sept-15 00:09:07

Interesting question as young women today do seem to have so much more choice. They appear to be much more well informed and have more ambition than I ever had. However I was lucky enough to have had a free university education and there was much less pressure on me to achieve so I really enjoyed the freedom. As a result I failed to complete my degree course and eventually went to teacher training college where I eventually got my degree (again with a student grant - no loans to repay). Mistakes like this couldn't happen today with the student loan system so a character like mine could not be built! My career as a teacher was very successful and I think it was meant to be!

I cannot feel real regret because my life has made me what I am, though I would never marry again (even when pregnant).

PPP Fri 18-Sept-15 01:44:42

I have had a very happy and fulfilled life - successful career and two brilliant children and a supportive husband. I married young but delayed having children till I was fully qualified professionally and had a reasonable cv. The only downside is that having children a bit later and daughter having a career and not having children till her mid thirties means that I am a fairly old grandmother. 'You can't have everything'!

I would tell my younger self to be more self confident about my looks and my ability.

kittylester Fri 18-Sept-15 07:18:58

I worked in Midland Bank too!

Theoddbird Fri 18-Sept-15 10:16:01

I would follow my dream and not do what my parents wanted me to do...sighs

Lona Fri 18-Sept-15 10:23:29

kitty It was a very respectable choice to work at Midland Bank in those days! wink hmm

Happy4me Fri 18-Sept-15 10:37:42

Quite simple really 2 points ... I would have trained as nurse and had a wage all my life instead of being influenced by my dominant mother as I have been called to nurse all my life anyway ... during work and my family ... it was what I wanted to be.

I would have learned to drive when young as trying to succeed later never happened and it has ruined my life ... limited my work chances and limited my horizons as I live in the country.

janerowena Fri 18-Sept-15 11:15:28

I would have gone to bed with more people, instead of being such a puritan. Then I would have known that ex was useless in bed and not wasted so many years on such a spiteful man.

Tegan Fri 18-Sept-15 11:30:06

I would have gone to bed with the same number of people but been more selective sad[was very naive and stupid in my youth].

NotTooOld Fri 18-Sept-15 11:33:44

janerowena, that rings a loud bell with me. I remained virginal until after my first marriage, being heavily influenced by my Methodist mother. Yes, the marriage was a disaster and ended in divorce. I was extremely miffed to discover years and years later that my slightly younger sister had not done the same! So, like you, I would have put in a bit of practice before trotting off down the aisle. Religion has a lot to answer for!

janerowena Fri 18-Sept-15 13:56:10

It does! I was the eldest, she told me so many horror stories. She then went on to have three more daughters who were all spared those stories, and it was ages before I discovered that they were all leading far more exciting lives than I was - she had assumed that I would pass on my 'knowledge' to them! It says a lot about our upbringing that we were so wary of sharing our experiences with each other.

NotTooOld Fri 18-Sept-15 16:42:47

You're right, janerowena. At the time I always thought those stories about the Swinging Sixties could not be true but now I know they were true. Everyone appears to have been at it apart from me (and perhaps you!) I remember being very shocked when the male half of a couple my fiancé and I were friends with remarked that of course they slept together as 'you wouldn't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on'. I must have been a terrible prude although I did make up for it later when I was between marriages.

eccentric Sat 19-Sept-15 15:42:30

I would have married the boyfriend I had at 22. We lived together for a short time then split. We always remained friends, despite both living all over the globe. I married him two years ago instead . Amazing church wedding. Tea party in red cross hall... He was 60 and I was 61! I had children within a marriage but we often talk about how we wished we had a child. He is godfather to my eldest, who is 42. Life is amazing.

henetha Sat 19-Sept-15 15:48:29

I would definitely not get married at 21 like I did. I wish I had experimented a bit instead of rushing into marriage.
And I would fervently hope to go to university. Then travel, working abroad, hopefully, for at least a few years.
Oh, to get a second chance at it all!

Nanajaws Sun 20-Sept-15 18:49:12

Like you NotTooOld, the swinging sixties didn't impact on me - I wish I had been braver with boyfriends and not such a scared y cat (? Prude ?). Also wish I had gone to University, but there is so much more choice of less academic topics now. I always enjoyed my jobs/career as a Secretary, and later as a quite high level PA, but wish I had realised that I was creative sewing wise and done that as a career. I married at 21, but you can't just say to the man you have fallen for 'go away for a few years while I experiment'. We've been very happily married for 43 years, two DC and 3 lovely GC, so am very happy. I would advise young women today not to leave it too late to have children if possible as it is more tiring the older you get.

Deedaa Sun 20-Sept-15 20:37:17

I don't think I would have done much differently, perhaps not bothered trying to do chemistry GCE so that I didn't have to make a last minute change to Art. I realise now that my parents were way ahead of their time and let me make my own decisions.

Perhaps there was a man that I wish now I had slept with. So sexy and clever I'm sure it would have been a night to remember, but virginity seemed so important in those days.

granjura Mon 21-Sept-15 11:46:34

I like Helen Mirren's advice:

I'd say F**k of* a lot more often than I did.

NotTooOld Mon 21-Sept-15 14:13:51

granjura - Did Helen Mirren say that? It does sound like good advice except in the 60s the F word was EXTREMELY rude and not one my prudish young self would have used.

Funny so many of us worked for the Midland Bank. I started there in 1960, did the initial (very short) training at the Chancery Lane Branch and then did two years in small London branches. It was a terribly sexist environment and only the male juniors were encouraged to take banking exams and get promotion.