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How many children do you have ........and why?

(86 Posts)
kittylester Tue 01-Sept-15 10:14:22

Last night's Eastenders made me think about our family and why it is how it is.

DH and I always knew we wanted a big family and had 3 children very close together (fun but exhausting!) But, when I was expecting number 4, I had a missed abortion (like Shabnam) but mine was more traumatic in that I didn't abort until 6 weeks after the baby died (the consultant went away for a month and we were in shock confused) and then I went into labour naturally.

Eventually I plucked up the courage to try for number 4 but it took a while to conceive so there are 6 years between number 3 and number 4. We so enjoyed number 4 that we had number 5. So, when DD3 was born we had children aged 16,14,12 and 6.

How did your family come to be the shape it is?

Maggiemaybe Thu 03-Sept-15 16:53:02

Having two DDs first I was often excused for having number three with - "I suppose you're trying for a boy".

Oh me too, NfkDumpling. And when DC3 did indeed turn out to be DS, someone actually wrote in the congratulations card "Hurray, you've got it right at last". shock angry

Luckygirl Thu 03-Sept-15 17:09:57

Oh Maggie - don't get me going on this one! I had 3 girls and got thoroughly fed up with people "commiserating" with me when I had the third. angry She was (and still is) perfect and so beautiful - how can people say these crass things?

larry5 Thu 03-Sept-15 17:32:48

I have 3 too ds and one dd who was born when I was 40. There is a 15 year gap between no 2 ds and dd. When ds2 was 14 I was late one month and although I didn't think I was pregnant (I wasn't) I told dh. His reaction was 'Oh that would be good' so we tried for no 3 and I was pregnant within 3 months.

I was asked all the time if I wanted a girl but I just wanted another baby who happened to be a girl. I knew when she was born that I didn't want another dc as I couldn't put myself through another amnio and also as the two boys had fought I knew I would be better coping with just one!

apricot Thu 03-Sept-15 18:52:12

A friend looked at our fourth baby girl, out in her beautiful big pram for the first time, and said, "They're going to cost you a fortune in Tampax one day!"

rosesarered Thu 03-Sept-15 19:02:32

don't people say outrageous things to new Mums?
I never felt the least bit guilty then or now for having 3 children, why should I, we did all we could for them and never asked for a penny, would still have managed even without the bit of family allowance.
I was pleased that we had one boy, having already had two girls,and remember kitting him out in blue woollies for a walk in the pram, being stopped by a complete stranger [old lady] who beamed at me and said " Isn't she a sweetie!" Grrrrrr.

rosequartz Thu 03-Sept-15 19:55:27

Oh yes, my DS was always mistaken for a girl - he was beautiful.
He's still very handsome, but no mistaking him for a girl nowadays!
(gets his looks from DH not me)

rosequartz Thu 03-Sept-15 20:14:00

ps in answer to the OP title - I have three.
If you don't know why kittylester then I need to take you aside for a little biology lesson grin

TwiceAsNice Thu 03-Sept-15 23:44:23

I had 3. I had started wanting 4 but had a dreadful pregnancy with baby no 3 and decided to stop then when she was 15 months our second child died at almost 5 after a 6 months treatment for Leukaemia. I remember thinking in the middle of the pain how much I regretted that I couldn't get pregnant again ( husband had had a vasectomy after 3 baby was born) although another child could never have replaced our DS I thought at the time it might be the only thing that might keep me sane. There is now almost 8 years between the DD,s and surprisingly considering the age gap once they became young adults they have always been extremely close. I empathise with all the other posters who have lost children at whatever age it is truly the most terrible thing to happen to anyone.

One of my beautiful granddaughters looks just like him.

vampirequeen Fri 04-Sept-15 12:04:40

I had DS who sadly passed away so quickly (maybe too quickly but I wouldn't change her) went in for another. I'm incredibly fertile so fell pregnant on more or less first attempt....def first month of trying. DD1 duly arrived. I wanted to enjoy her so didn't plan to have another for a few years. On cue DD2 appeared when DD1 was 4 years old.

Then I married DH who brought me 3 grown up step children and 2 little children.

loopylou Fri 04-Sept-15 17:45:47

I have two, a 'pigeon pair', with two years and two months between them. I lost one between them, I was 18 weeks pregnant.

Only ever wanted two, didn't care whether boys or girls. I was one of three girls, my father wanted six shock, my mother lost twins before me and said no way but now often says she would have liked another baby.

It's so sad that many here have lost babies or children, flowers to you all x