You'll never hear me say this.

Oh I do wish I hadn't retired, I'd much rather go back to full time work with all the children still living at home……

A small portion for me please.

'Oh I could live without the internet, no problem'

Riverwalk

" how many pairs of your shoes would you like me to polish dear?"

Give me the cloth and spray and I will clean the inside of the windows.

I don't need an iPad ..... Or red wine!

Let's have a lovely day out at the shopping centre.

Oh its like totally awesome!

Me.." Quick! Put the tv on, we're missing the rugby!"

DH..." I think I'll just do a bit of ironing now".

"Oh, I really shouldn't." (While taking a cake anyway.)

'Can we watch some football please?'

Yes, dear, I love all this really tuneful modern jazz you continually play in the study, please put it on in the kitchen/lounge/car so I can enjoy it too.

I've just seen the GN newsletter and you will never hear me say, 'Oh, yummy, yet more courgette recipes!'

Oh good its raining- so good for the garden and it will keep the dust down at the County Show tomorrow!

"Let me take the bins out,darling it's raining and you want to watch the golf."

"are yah awright there?" My pet hate

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to contribute to my dentist's kids' school fees.

"I'd like to drive" I would say"I will drive" or " It's my turn to drive." But if anyone is willing to drive me, that 's great.

I was so busy and forgot to eat.

Hmmmn, chocolate cake, not my favourite.

"Can I get...?"

"Yum yum, goat's cheese" - it is one of the few things I just can't even swallow...

To husband - oh you drive, darling, I feel so safe when you do ... (Reaches for Valium)

That'll see me out

Yes, I'd love to cook another meal.