You'll never hear me say this.

" how many pairs of your shoes would you like me to polish dear?"

Riverwalk

'Oh I could live without the internet, no problem'

A small portion for me please.

Oh I do wish I hadn't retired, I'd much rather go back to full time work with all the children still living at home……

Oh Ana you hav made me laugh especially 'bless em'.

Isn't golf exciting and don't golfers wear great outfits?

I'm beside myself One Direction have split up!

Victoria Beckham's shoes sure look comfy.

Rap, it's just so poetic!

Aren't selfies interesting?

"I'm so glad the neighbourhood cats have chosen my vegetable patch as their communal toilet...bless 'em!"

"I'm so proud of my figure"

"You always clean the oven darling, I'll do it today"

(Sorry Absent my mistake).

Gosh my toes look good in summer sandals.

"I'd love to spend the afternoon watching you play bowls sweetheart". ��

"no darling, seven hours doesn't sound too long for a walk at all!" (See my profile...)

Oh Lona, same for me, with the x2 and everything!

Also 'I care so much about my house being clean and tidy, I am going to ignore the kids and crack on with it'.

Meh!

Love it Lona!

Whilst DH would usually say 'Oh dear, the cat's been sick, I'll clear it up' you will never hear me say 'Oh look, the cat has brought in a bird, mouse, frog, bat - I'll sort it'

Lona

Brilliant Lona

I wish I'd never got divorced! X2!

DH -" I'll cook the dinner tonight"!

How about something the DH would never say?
" oh, God, the cat's been sick, but don't worry love, I will clean it up"

I like that one, too StillTheLemon. I've thought of another one - I am so glad DD married that twerp!

I'm so disappointed there's no more football on today, can we please check again to see whether some obscure European teams are playing?

I'll stick with Lona's suggestion!

I so admire Simon Cowell. Such a lovely man, and I think it is fantastic that he had a child by his best friend's wife and then plastered details of his new family all mover the popular press.

I'm so looking forward to the new series of the X-Factor...

I really really struggled with this last night... hence no posting. I have two children with additional needs and there are lots of things I thought I would never say but have done... (do not lick your sister, your sister is not your slave, take your own socks off, you can not sleep on the bannisters)

However, Lona has come up with a certain one for me:

I'm going to clean right through the house today!

At least with mn down I may, (looks for flying pigs) get the flat cleaned up a bit more.