Do you remember?

Hi apricot and Letitia, I had all 3 of my babies at home, even though for first one I had no one to look after me ! She came in just over 5 hours, I had done all the exercises regular ! Also cut out bread, cakes, potatoes for four weeks before due date! It worked, easy birth at 6 lbs, yes I remember clearly saying as another contraction started ...not yet a minute more ...I then had cramp in both legs !
But with midwife on the bed saying come on kick me but deliver this baby now !! She was wonderful as were all the nurses that stayed with me from start to finish.
2 baby arrived after only on 3 hours labour, hubby looking after first one due to her waking!
3 baby arrived in two hours, and hubby delivered him! all good births , wish now I had more !! But money was tight!
Home births are back ....they are the normal place to have babies, in your own bed !! No fuss,
Never left alone, now have 9 grand children who I saw within hour of birth! Two GT grand ones ! Who because of distance was unable to see until time period later!
It's sad that lots of mums go into labour scared, and in doing so create more pain in trying to resist the contracts! Also first babies bigger than 6 lbs are going to be more hard work therefore longer time and of course suffer more pain!!! Midwives do tell these mums this !!!

I think it was pure luck that I had easy births. I would still have been too pessimistic to have them at home- I liked being in the right place if there were complications.

However had I had a 4th I might not have made it to the hospital.
By the time I got anyone to take me seriously with the 3rd I said 'can I push now?' And the midwife said 'yes' and that was it! She wrote down 2 mins for the second stage but I doubt it was that long!

I don't remember much about the pain at all and precious little about first labour. It was twins and I was already in hospital with 'high blood pressure' As it turned out I had undiagnosed pre-eclampsia. Waters broke before the BP could be lowered and I went into labour immediately. Given pethidine before I needed it as staff began to realise something was wrong. I remember coming to in the delivery suite with a room full of people, midwives, obstetrician, registrar, paediatrician, student midwives, student doctors, 1st year house doctors (it was a teaching hospital) and me splayed out exposing my all! DD1 born quickly and easily and passed to me for a cuddle. And then back into labour. DD2 born 20 mins later by forceps as things were going massively wrong. And yes, the stitching process was awful!

The next thing I remember was being woken up in the ward with a cup of tea, and feeling a terrible shaking starting. Nothing more for 2 days! I had full eclampsia and nearly died. Very traumatic start to motherhood.

DS was back to back, long and painful. The threat of a c-section got both him and me moving and the birth was quick and easy. DD3 was relatively simple and straightforward. DH and I by now old hands and shared the gas an air! She was 10 days early and 8 lbs. so glad she wasn't late!

DH at all births and remembers NOTHING!

I have been at the labours of all 6 DGCs and the births of 3. I remember EVERY ONE! What a privilege!

First birth was a little traumatic- horrible midwife who gave me an internal and I seriously thought her hand would be waving out the top of my head! And she spoke not a word except for saying 'I'm going to give you an internal!'
Second time around my waters broke at home, DH had to stay at home to look after DD, weather was appalling, freezing fog and temperature through the floor! Ambulance arrived, my husband invited them in and asked if they would like a hot drink! Fortunately they declined! Birth was much calmer even though all of the babies born that night were whipped away, covered with foil blankets and lined up against the radiators in the nursery as it was so cold.
I also had an ambulance to bring me home and will always remember the male paramedic saying 'We don't often get such a glam mum to take home!'. This was because as a specs wearer I always (and I mean ALWAYS!) wear eye makeup. He made me feel good though.

Oh yes, Ana and kittylester! My DD came in 2 hours, early on Christmas morning. The worst aspects were indeed when I finally saw a doctor who stitched my tear and the sensation of sitting on redhot knives for days afterwards.
I thought that was normal until I had my DS. He came even more quickly, before the ambulance! We were taken in later to be checked over and I was pleasantly surprised to be able to sit without the stabbing pains. I honestly hadn't realised that the stitches were the problem, duh!

I had to be cut when I had DD1 and my GP happened to be in the hospital. He was called in to stitch me up. Goodness knows what he was doing there. Attending a party at the nurses' home perhaps, as he rolled in on a wave of whiskey fumes, very jovial and hail vulva well met. He demanded the biggest needle and proceeded to peer at it crosseyed trying to thread it, staggering slightly, while I watched in trepidation with my legs up in stirrups. It all added to the ambience, of course.

I can remember both of my very difficult childbirths as if they were yesterday.

DS1 was born in 1969.I went three weeks overdue and was finally admitted to hospital to be induced. I started labour naturally during the night and went about 18 hours with nothing happening but horrible pain.DH went home aftr visiting hour as he did not wish to be present.After this a midwifery tutor came in with two student midwives to do a teaching session on me.She pulled down the sheet, looked at my tummy then shooed the two students out.I can remember her saying that the doctor should see me first she then left the room returning with the doctor and another midwife.When they pulled the sheet down I remember seeing that my bump has changed shape.
What had happened was my son had gone into transverse lie, my waters had broken and were green with meconium.All I remember after that was being run down to theatre, having the mask put onto my face for a GA and my son was brought out by EMCS almost dead because of a complication with the birth and the GA which almost killed me as well.
We were both brought back to life and made it home after 2 weeks.I did not see him until he was 2 days old as I was very ill until then.

This put me off having anymore until 2 years later when I suddenly found I was pregnant again.I don't think the word Tokophobia (fear of childbirth) was invented then but if it had I had it big time. The consultant gynaecologist who saw me decided that I was not built for childbirth, I am 4ft 10ins, would need another section and should have the tubal tie. In other words I was trouble and needed to stop being a bother to them.My DH did not help by deciding to join the merchant navy and clearing off to sea.I got him to sign the consent form for a tubal tie first.
About a month before DS2 was born the experts changed their minds and said I should have a trial of labour as the nreal reason for the C section was the transverse lie. I went into labour 10 days late, was admitted straight to hospital and spent about 12 hours in pain with nothing happening again until a doctor examined me and said I must go to theatre again. DS2's had was still not engaged and my womb was in danger of rupturing through the c section scar.
I prayed to God and all the Saints that we would both survive because my DS1 needed his mother.My prayers were answered when I woke from the dreaded GA to find that I had a live baby. My tubes had ben tied also.

I have five grandchildren and one great grandchild all courtesy of DS2.
My DGD2 had a water birth for her son.I was not envious just happy all went well for her.I have three more granddaughters and hope they all give birth without any complications.

I have a long vertical scar down my abdomen to remind me of my two sons' entry into the world as if I would forget.I still have a horror of general anaesthetics and cannot watch One Born Every Minute.

I give the Midwifery Tutor all the credit for coming in when she did and so saving my DS1's life.

Sorry if this is long, but these memories have not faded.

I was 20 when I had my daughter. I was so terrified that I couldn't believe it would actually happen. I was taken into hospital early as I had high BP. They kept me 'drugged up' to make me relax. They then decided to induce the baby. They sent a student nurse to shave me who announced 'I've never done this before'. She nicked my skin several times. They then gave me an enema. I rushed to the toilet and was sick on the floor. I told the nurse and she said 'well you'd better clean it up then hadn't you?' I was then taken into the labour room, my legs put up in stirrups and I was induced. However it didn't work and they put a drip in my hand and eventually labour started. They had sent my DH home and told him to come back at a certain time and we didn't have a telephone to contact him to get there sooner. I had 7 hours of excruciating labour, during which time a doctor breezed in with students and began discussing my condition. Now I was, and still am, a mouse, but I screamed at this doctor to 'get out'. He said 'now now mother'. I said 'I'm not your bloody mother' and they retreated. DH duly arrived and so did my baby daughter. I SO wanted a girl but obviously if she had been a boy it know I would have been just as happy. A handsome young doctor then stitched me up while two young nurses stood behind him giggling and saying 'I wonder if he thinks about what he's having for tea while he's doing this'. As life turned out, we didn't have any more children. I sometimes think about the other girls that were in the ward with me and what became of them and their babies. That scary day turned out to be the best day of my life

Oh what a story KatyK. Awful being sick and told to clear it up too. A lot of your birth story sounds like my own experience. But you describe it as the best day of your life, despite all the trauma, so the joy of having your daughter surpassed all the bad bits, which are after all transitory. Like you, I did find some of the staff quite callous. I came home from working in Rome to have her so chose a well known maternity hospital in Wimbledon, which the Italian insurance paid for. A mistake really as it wasn't a good experience all round. DD2 was born in the maternity unit of the local cottage hospital, 2 years later, and was a far better experience. No induction or forceps, just a bit of very painful stitching. I'm glad you got over it all, as your description sounds very unpleasant indeed.

Bella Things were different in those days. Most of the nursing staff were 'off hand' in the hospital where my DD was born. There were one or two lovely ones. I'm sure there are a lot of women who had far worse experiences than me. You hear some horror stories don't you? At least we both came out of it well and healthy.

True, KatyK

I had only flicked through this thread and having now read a bit further, there are obviously some really awful stories of difficult childbirths. Hope at the grandparent stage or, if not yet, then soon, the bad memories will have faded somewhat and mums will be enjoying their grandchildren, with memories of their own difficult times buried beneath the surface. Some of the reading made my own recollections of agony and discomfort seem trivial by comparison.

Comments about kidney stone pain lead me to ask for help. For over 18 months I have had a violent pain down my left stomach/groin, usually for up to 20 minutes soon after I get up. Sometimes it lasts on and off all day. At present it's receded a little, not every day and often not so debilitating.

At its worst it was at least as bad as labour and I occasionally wished for oblivion. I'd take strong painkillers with shaking hands.
Some mornings I'm scared to get up. I've had all kinds of examinations, scans etc. They all showed nothing except for gallstones (on the right!!).
Apologies for posting but I hoped someone might have had a similar pain. Thanks for reading!

I don't think the size of a baby has any bearing on how painful its birth is. 10lb babies are very common now and, 36 years ago, my last baby weighed 10lbs 9oz. My labour was the quickest and easiest of all four and she was the only one who came home after 48 hours rather than after 10 days in special care. Two of my babies were ill due to an AB/O blood incompatibility.

Oh yes KatyK I had forgotten the shave and enema! So humiliating! Thank goodness these are a thing of the past!

Elrel my husband suffers from kidney stones. Every so often he passes one and is in agony. The first time this happened was just after I gave birth to DS. The doctor who came out to him said that there was only 1 pain worse than kidney stones passing - childbirth! DH said to me afterwards he didn't realise how bad childbirth could be. Pethidine is the only thing that helps him.

My first baby. The nurse said she was going to shave me and drew the curtains round the bed but left big gaps. The tea trolley lady came round and I felt embarrassed and pointed out that the curtains weren't closed properly. "Don't be silly, we're all girls here together" the nurse said cheerily and left them gaping open. Yes, definitely humiliating.

I found the stitching really embarrassing: spot lit, doctor sitting on a stool and legs in stirrups!

The first sign of being in labour for me was diarrhoea but I was still forced to have an enema!

I had a missed abortion between babies 3 and 4 which was left to 'sort itself out'. It took 6 weeks before I went into labour. I have no idea why we were happy to go along with that plan!

I had a very young doctor who stitched me up - and he was asking the nurse for advice where to place them! I suppose it's hardly surprising that he stitched me up far too tightly and I was in so much discomfort while I was in hospital that I felt sick and hardly ate anything. Removing the stitches was extremely painful and the nurse expressed surprise at how tightly they'd been done, nodding knowingly when I told who'd stitched me.

kittlylester I think it's appalling how you were treated - how distressing that must have been.

I think in those days people felt quite intimidated by and, to some extent in awe of, the medical profession. I always remember getting a very stern lecture about promiscuity from an older female locum GP when I asked for advice re contraception, because I was not - shock horror - married. I can't imagine something of that nature happening these days and if it did I think most young women would make an official complaint.

Nobody seems in awe of me

I can't remember everything about my labours, just snatches.

The first one I went to hospital far too early and was in the delivery room for hours before he was born. No enema but shaved, which wasn't very nice. A friend of ours was the paediatric Junior House Ofiicer on duty, she kindly arranged for a TV for us and my DP watched tThe dirty dozen all the way through before doing the support bit he was meant to be there for! It wasn't at all painful just a bit uncomfortable. I do remember that that delivered DS onto my stomach and there her was, all slimy & blue and beautiful! The hospital was quite advanced for those days and let me breastfeed him soon after delivery. The worst part was being stitiched up, The young doctor was clearly knackered and stitched me far too tightly, made laughing and coughing very painful for days afterwards.

Second baby was meant to be a home delivery but came 5 weeks early and the midwife insisted I went to hospital. DD came much faster but it took me months to bond with her as I was so cross at missing my home delivery*.. I tore with her and was stitched by a more competent (less knackered?) doctor and had no bother with them.

In both hospitals the midwives were lovely. Both labours were painfree.

I felt really sorry for my DD who had her first baby last year. She was induced and had a very bad time (though fortunately short).

*that sounds dreadful, doesn't it. But I can assure you that once I'd bonded I couldn't have wished for a more wonderful daughter and she remains my pride and joy.

P.S excuse all the typos. When will I learn to proof read

Try using some multi syllabic Latin terms Galen that usually does the trick.

Anya

Had DS1 after only 4 hours labour. Probably good as he had a heart defect. But as labour so quick didn't get any pain relief, but did get the dreaded shave and enema!! DS2 born 16 months later just 4 months after DS1 died. Labour about 18 hours and only got 2 Paracetamol! As it was 1am they said "we don't want to wake the doctor to stitch you now as she's pregnant" So had to wait until about 10am before she came and proceeded to stitch with no local anaesthetic and very annoyed because I kept jumping every time she put the needle in!! Hope she got the same treatment! DD1 2 years later was overdue so had a"sweep" to get labour started. Very painful and remember seeing the meconium stained waters and knowing that was not a good sign. The labour was awful as all the pains in my back and I had absolutely no control over them. Again only given Paracetamol even though it was a different hospital. With DD2 7 years later (!!) actually got some Pethidine and gas and air. Lovely! Each labour was different and all were painful of course but it didn't stop me wanting more!
I was with DD1 for the birth of my 2 first DGC and with DD2 for the latest. Her treatment was deplorable and the midwives (apart from 1) were rude and didn't listen to her at all. But what a privilege to be with my daughters as they gave birth to my gorgeous grandchildren.