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Why do some people make you feel inadequate??

(64 Posts)
Katek Wed 29-Jul-15 23:01:49

You know the kind-they make a virtue out of frugality (even when they don't have to), eschew modern homes and furniture, use great granny's sheets, eat all the right things, aren't overweight, drink gallons of water, decaff tea/coffee, wear sensible shoes, let their hair go grey, recycle to Olympian excesses, never visit the doctor, go on walking holidays, won't use modern kitchen appliances, would rather the house grew mould instead of turning the heating up a degree and also belittle modern telecoms. I could go on......:but I won't!

I always end up feeling vaguely frivolous with my trips to the hairdresser and my beautiful new pink shoes. I do my best within my limitations but feel overwhelmed sometimes by this paragon of virtue.

Matella Fri 31-Jul-15 15:39:39

I know exactly the sort of people you are talking about Katek and until recent years they would have made me feel inadequate too. When in their company I used to find myself adjusting my conversation accordingly so as not to 1. offend them and 2. appear inadequate. I had many so called friends like that.
I think with age now has come acceptance that you have to take friends warts and all. If however friendship does not outweigh the irritability limit, and I am unable to resolve it with them, then I'm afraid they soon find themselves in the 'departure lounge'.
Life's too short not to be yourself and enjoy the way you are. smile
Love the picture and caption janeainsworth ! sunshine

Blueflowers Fri 31-Jul-15 15:41:54

No One. Can make you inferior without your consent
try and remember this saying when you start to feel inferior or intimidated by someone who feels they are perfect and you are not

rubylady Fri 31-Jul-15 15:54:37

My DD made me feel inadequate a long time ago, various things but she even put me down on watching soaps, a bit of escape time for me. Now my DS says the same thing so occasionally I go and watch them with my darling dad who laps them up but sadly forgets the plot due to his dementia. I still love our time together though and he doesn't, not one bit, make me feel inadequate. I'm done with the family who can't accept and love me as I am. smile

PPP Fri 31-Jul-15 16:06:43

I am all for a bit of frivolity.

I spent all my youth and working life being 'worthy' - studied hard, job useful to society, raised my children, worked hard etc. Dutiful.

Now I am an old woman I want more fun in my life. Spend what I've worked for, buy clothes, art, plants, nail polish etc that I dont 'need' but which give me pleasure. The old stuff goes to charity and I keep the economy moving!

Matella Fri 31-Jul-15 17:11:12

Good for you PPP!

Bellanonna Fri 31-Jul-15 17:28:01

I like your sentiments PPP and fully agree. You sound a bit like me!

greatmum Fri 31-Jul-15 17:42:48

Lucky girl
What you described is a person of mediocre intelligence who has by their own 'hard work' and considerable 'bullying' /persuasion has pushed their way into the 'positions of respect' by most, with possible a title too!
These are the rudest and most arrogant people I have come across; during my working life (now retired),
I served as silver service waitress on many 'upper class' dinners at posh hotels, these people were polite, friendly and considerate while serving meal!
But those I served at lesser functions, as in big business yearly dinners or clubs; were on the whole, rude , cheeky in touching ones posterior! Would get up and down during meal or the serving, and when it came to removing used plates or such...if they were talking .. would make the waitress wait until finnished to clear theirs! Showed such bad manners when they should have known better! These folk were also tight fisted when giving tips !!
The guys from clubs and factory's were more polite, but rather too many visits to toilets and would get up to chat to someone to far away !

It's your life.. So enjoy it while your here , live and let live?
I often think .. Life is processing us ??
But for what or where ?

greatmum Fri 31-Jul-15 17:50:01

Rubylady.
We all make mistakes!!
I for one told my DD a few things!
That I wish since I lost him, that I could go back and change !!
They were not cruel as such, a bit thoughtless which with age I have seen clearer !

Bennan Mon 03-Aug-15 07:29:09

Recently I was feeling a bit down after a family gathering, SIL being a bit of a pain, so I took stock of my life and abilities. I went over my talents, interests and relationships and decided that they were more than adequate and that I was doing not so badly for an old broad! Life is too short to worry too much about others who are peripheral to your life. Enjoy what you have, who you are and your loved ones around you, harm no-one and live as well as you can.

Anya Mon 03-Aug-15 07:34:20

Life is indeed too short Bennan so that's the right attitude to adopt.

Atqui Mon 03-Aug-15 11:17:36

These positive comments such as Life is too short etc are all true. When I said earlier that someone's post made me feel inadequate , I was not being facetious. Some people have low self esteem , probably for some deep seated reason, and will feel inadequate no matter how many times they are told to count their blessings or should I say attributes. It's like telling someone with depression to 'Snap out of it' . Sometimes it helps to know that other people do not feel good about themselves. I suppose if I was wealthy I would have therapy as the Americans all seem to do!

kittylester Mon 03-Aug-15 12:06:23

Good post Atqui. It isn't always something an individual can chose to do or not - sometimes it just happens. Those of you who never feel inadequate are very lucky!

Atqui Mon 03-Aug-15 17:39:18

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