A very difficult situation-what to do?

Thank you other ladies for your support. Much appreciated. x

With all that experience why did you need to ask Gransnetters what you should do?

Those cases that you came across in your work, do seem a lot more extreme than this mother with her three fairly well looked after children. Perhaps it's a bit like seeing "reds under the beds".

I think that it was a difficult call to make. And one that was better made than unmade.

One can still doubt oneself Jingl. Even if it were reds under beds I'd also rather err on the side of caution

I still wonder what the social workers will do. What will they say to the mother?

Katek, what a heartfelt post summarising years of personal and professional knowledge of addiction and its impact on children. It's a relief to seethe vast majority of posters here empathise with you in relation to this incident.

I'll answer jingle's question as best I can and put my tin hat on. This referral should result in an assessment of the children's needs. That will start with a discussion with their mum and should include initial enquiries with school, family centre, health visitor, community drug team. The mum should be seen with the children. The aim will be to support mum in her care of the children.

jings The social workers will say whatever needs to be said to find out the truth, ascertain the position and get her back to considering her three - three - underschool children. If she is getting "medication" and is known to them, they are the ones whose jobs will be on the line if/when those children come to harm.

Yes, she is a mum in difficulties, but social workers are supposed to help her out of them, not ignore her.

You ask why katek posted this? To see how other GNers would have reacted, perhaps? Most would have done the same thing. Only a few would have passed by on the other side while children were at risk.

Doesn't it take a village to bring up a child?

Well done KateK. Passers by seeing this behaviour should report such concerns to the police giving as much identifying information as possible.

It may or may not lead to the child being identified but at least someone has tried.

In this situation, as others have said, the methadone clinic would almost certainly know exactly who it was.

Yes, indeed Stansgran.

I would hope the social workers would devise a plan whereby the mum doesn't have to drag her three young children along to collect her methadone. But I doubt if anything that practical will be forthcoming.

The incident of the two year old drowning in the bath is horrifying. Not exactly a success story for the social workers.

Don't know why you think you need a hard hat iam64. To have been in the profession you worked in you must have developed a very hard shell by now.

If the mum has to go to the shops, visit friends or family, take the children to the park and other normal activities, she could fit in calling at the pharmacy to have her methadone. Family support is all about enabling her to get on with life, not taking responsibility from her. The focus of supporting her would be in helping her to identify how she can do all these things without putting any of her children at risk. Sometimes family support workers are available to accompany people in such circumstances to enable them to work out the best way to cope eg two little ones in the stroller and the other walking on reins, or enlisting the help of a friend or relative. Social workers creating dependency on their intervention aren't really helping people who bave the capacity to take responsibility for themselves.

Makes one wonder what one is paying taxes for sometimes?!

I think you did the right thing. You might have spent a lot of time afterwards feeling that you had let these children down if you hadn't. Unfortunately, sometimes we collude in people's downfall by taking the attitude that we shouldn't interfere. I do think that we are also guilty of lowering the morality of society by letting some things go. Sometimes it was good that people cared what others thought. However, damned if we do, damned if we don't.

You did the right thing. We hear of children having the most terrible deaths and if people had behaved like you they may have been saved.
I think people on methodone pick up their medication daily at a set time when the next dose is due.

Better safe than sorry.

In spite of the headlines, it is not true that SWs whip children away from their families at the drop of a hat - in fact, many think that they often err too far the other way.

I am surprised that the whole gamut of services for children were unaware of a young mother on methadone.

There's no reason to suspect that they were unaware. As KateK says, the SW she spoke to said the family was probably in their system already, and later it was confirmed that they had the matter in hand.

I missed that in an earlier post Ana. I have been flitting in and out.

Having worked with vulnerable people for years ('till 3 years ago), I still sometimes call in worrying situations to Social Care. I know it's the right thing to do, but sadly, also know they almost certainly won't do anything but log it. This is because, as others have said, social workers are just massively overworked.

That said, if enough worrying incidents are logged, eventually, a picture builds up which is hard to ignore. Certainly, if the family is already known to them, your report will add to their understanding of the potential risks.

I think it was the right thing to do.

Absolutely the right thing to do KateK, as I said before, it was people not wishing to interfere that led to Jamie Bulger's killers being able to drag him along several streets after abducting him. Many witnesses at the trial acknowledged having seen him and bitterly regretting not stopping them and asking what was going on. A few people on here have been a bit narky and sarcastic in their posting, and I wonder how they would feel if their grandchild skipped along and into the path of a lorry, and nobody 'interfered'. This poor woman obviously needs support and help, and so do her children and alerting SS was the right thing to do in my mind and I would have done the same, not through any official or professional experience, but because I am a human being.

Can't believe people are bringing up the case of little Jamie Bulger. (which was completely different)

Oh yes I can. #Gransnet

Go katek! And just for the record, why was the question even raised about why a child's hair colour was mentioned? I saw the original post as just a description of the child. The query looked to me like trying to provoke a racist issue that was simply not there.

Can't you, jings? A small child out of sight of mother is vulnerable to all kinds of dangers - abduction by twisted murderers is the worst one, but it is only one example. There are others, though, which could be disastrous - running into a busy road is one.

For a short time I used to take a 4 year-old neighbour's child to nursery along with my own. I had a toddler in a pushchair, my own nursery age child and a child of my own just started at school. My two always walked beside the pushchair, or one would hold my hand. The other child wouldn't hold my hand or walk beside us. One day she decided to teeter along the edge of the kerb, and when I asked her to come away from the road edge, she refused. When I put out my hand to take hers - she flounced off into the road! where I had to follow, grab her hand forcibly and grip it all the way to nursery. That could have been a tragedy in one act.

GillT57 - agree with everything you say.