Having the house to yourself

Stop doing his stuff. Start in a small way say, suggest he does his own ironing and go from there. It doesn't matter if it all piles up you will be OK.

Thanks AshTree
I'll bear that in mind, and be back for some advice on ground rules
It wouldn't be quite so annoying if he did some of the shopping, cooking and housework; I've given up asking for help, absolutely no initiative whatsoever!

Loopy I wasn't enthralled with the idea of retirement either - in fact I looked on it with dread at the thought of being with my DH 24/7. I don't think it's being selfish at all. We spend the better part of our lives working full time, having our own 'life' which is not connected to our OH or our home in any way, and suddenly this all vanishes. No outside life, no colleagues, no daily commute, no sense of independence. Your whole world reduced to four walls and one other person. It is a cultural shock!
What really surprises me is how many men seem quite happy to be joined at the hip, and don't feel the need for time on their own as we women seem to. I can only think it is a case of Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.
But take heart, Loopy - it actually hasn't been as bad as I'd feared (once I'd established a few ground rules )

I think it is perfectly normal to need time to yourself, and having the house to yourself gives you that, so I relish the time I have when DH is out with the dog or off to his woodworking club.

Oh yes me to. DH goes to Bowls on Wed and Thursday evenings so its a quick whisk round to put all to rights and a glass of wine on the sofa with a glass of wine and a bowl of pasta or somesuch and Netflix. Every other week he has Bowls meeting in the daytime so I nip out in Mildred on my own and enjoy a stroll round M & S Food without him saying 'How Much?' every 5 minutes. He's off to a day at the Test Match this week!

I wish!
My husband hardly ever goes out, he's almost a hermit. But he seems happy to be like that. He has his office upstairs where he spends a lot of time, so that's the nearest I get to having the house to myself.
Like Ashtree, if I didn't get out on my own I would suffocate.

Good luck tanith
With both of us working (partly) from home I'm getting a taster for the next four years until I retire........ I can't say I'm exactly enthralled with the prospect so far!
That sounds incredibly selfish I know but........

Its not just you Soutra, since OH retired only 2wks ago I've had a few evenings when he's played bowls but thats it no empty house when I can do 'stuff'. We are going to have to have 'the talk' if he doesn't stop wanting me to go with him everywhere or he coming with me everywhere.. I'm sure its just the novelty at present till he gets used to his 'retired' state. At least I sure hope so, I don't even know what it is about him being in the house because he has no objection to anything I do while I flitter here and there like a butterfly(a heavy one) from one thing to another but its not the same when someone else is around is it?

I'll let you know how that 'talk' goes if he doesn't settle down in a few weeks...

I am so glad it's not just anti social me

DH does gardening jobs three mornings a week. After chauffeuring him there I have 2 hrs each time to myself before I have to go pick him up, bliss ! I am so lucky with lovely DH if I say I'm going XYZ you don't need to come, he takes the hint on the other hand he will willingly come shopping or whatever.

GK, I know how you feel! DD and the children will move out over the summer and I will miss them all and love the fact that we will have a good relationship with the DGC but I will NOT miss the mess! And, as DH is working loads the house will be all mine!

kitty my daughter and her husband are moving out in 2 weeks' time after house-sharing with us for 7 months! There's lots I'll miss but lots I won't e.g. having to replace the loo roll every day (she was always like that), lights left on in their room when they've left for work ...

On the upside, she has taught me to crochet, having taught herself from YouTube. Although she says haughtily "Your technique is painful"

(Sorry for digressing. BTW I adore my daughter, she's a star).

I totally agree, especially with AshTree's last sentence.
DH works from home as do I three days a week and I think he feels compelled to talk about anything and everything regardless of how busy I am.
I love having the house to myself (is that selfish?)
I escape to my greenhouse when it gets too stressful!

I can relate to that! And not just having the house to myself, but just being by myself, enjoying my own company.
When we were both working, DH worked on Saturdays and I didn't, so I was used to having that time to do as I pleased, sometimes going out window shopping, or walking with my camera in local parks/NT grounds. I used to love visiting other towns, to wander through markets and browse second hand bookshops.
Then we retired. And suddenly, if I wanted to go anywhere he wanted to come too. Or if he wanted to go anywhere he expected me to go too. So I didn't even get the house to myself. Ever. Because we are always either at home together or out together. I had to have a little talk with him, which turned into a big talk, which became quite a row. He just doesn't get it, thinks it's a personal insult that I want regular time to myself.
He does play golf most Saturdays now, though, so I can either please myself at home, or I get in the car and take myself off somewhere. At other times, I tend to quietly get ready - coat, shoes etc, then pick up my keys and tell him I'm popping out to wherever, not giving him a chance to say he'll come with me. Is that awful of me? . But if I didn't get out by myself sometimes I would suffocate.

I love it and, currently, an enjoying it hugely. Though DH has only gone to B&Q to get some ant traps. DD and the children have gone to the 'pairium' to see 'octopussies' so will be out until 5pm.

It's rare since DD moved in it is rare for the house to be completely empty and it is a dilemma whether to 'make hay' and do lots of jobs or just to sit down and do b****r all and relish the peace.

When all 5 of the children were at home Dh and I used to set the alarm for 5.45 so we could have a chat in peace. Unfortunately, even when we don't set the clock, we still wake up that early.

I'm sure, though, there must be lots of people who would relish not having an empty house!

A friend takes DH fishing every Wednesday. I wave him off at 8.30am having been up for ages helping him get ready and packing his lunch. I then have a shower, leisurely breakfast and get stuck into jobs I like to do in peace and quiet like ironing or pottering in the greenhouse. I don't bother much with lunch but enjoy an afternoon cuppa in front of the telly. Even the dogs seem to appreciate the calm with Classic FM on the radio and curl up in their baskets - no yapping or running to the back door because his lordhip's forgotten something......again!!

I pick him up from the village at 5pm. Supper has been in the slow cooker all afternoon so it's READY. Starving, tired husbands do not a cheerful evening make.

It does us both the world of good to have a day apart. Friends are always saying, 'Why don't you go out somewhere?' They don't get it.

I absolutely love having the house to myself. I ramble around and flounce in and out of every room before settling down with whatever I'm doing - a movie at 10 in the morning, knitting, online browsing, baking...all good

Oh yes indeed. Sometimes DH takes himself off to Cumbria to the other home just to check that everything is okay. I get a minimum of 5 hours to myself so use it wisely, painting toenails, reading trashy magazines or watching a romantic comedy film. I once cleaned and tidied the bathroom cupboards, but after he didn't notice, I never bothered again.