Dilemma, should Dad still be driving?

Get him to take you out in the car and see what you think of his driving.

There is no reason just because of his age why he should not still drive. given any other health issues. He could just limit himself to easier local roads which he knows, if he finds driving in busier places more stressful.

At nearly 86 the year before he died, my father drove himself and my mum 100 miles to pick up my aunt in Leicester and after an overnight there on down for a week in Sidmouth in Devon?Dorset via my sister in Bristol. (About 280 miles). 580miles round trip.

He was a safe driver but a little more hesitant as he got older.

I doubt I would have the courage to have my driving tested, just in case.

Sorry flicketyb - I hadn't spotted your message about the IAM assessment when I wrote mine!

I do think that the frank report mentioned would be a good idea of course the person being assessed would be trying especially hard -not necessarily driving in their usual way. The potential danger to other people would be the decider for me. Yes it would be inconvenient not to self drive but it's probably for the best. How could you live with yourself if you had hurt (or worse) others? We've had some very sad stories up here of fatal accidents caused by very elderly drivers.

The institute of Advanced Motorists offer an assessment for the older driver, involving a drive with one of their examiners who will give a frank report - verbal and written - on the driver's ability and safety.

0845-126 8600 ask about Mature Driver's assessment

www.iam.org.uk/drivers/motorists-courses/driving-assessment

ju1160 It does seem a bit of an over-reaction if it was just this "bump" that has caused the family to consider whether your dad ought still to be driving. Lots of people are forgetful - and not only older people - but maybe, alongside concerns about forgetfulness, you have noticed a decline in your dad's driving ability - perhaps lapses in concentration, slower reactions, etc?

On the radio the other morning it was stated that something like 45% of newly qualified young drivers have an accident within, I think, 6 months of passing their test. And young male drivers have much higher serious accident rates than any other group. Given those figures, I do wonder if more attention should be paid to those issues than the issue of elderly drivers - though, of course, elderly people who are demonstrably not fit to drive should be prevented from doing so.

FlicketyB I didn't know about the Mature Drivers Assessment and I suspect lots of other people didn't so thanks for that information. Not that it would affect me as although I have had some lessons I've never had the courage (nor probably the proficiency) to take the test. I haven't given up on the idea entirely but perhaps, in light of this thread, I ought to.

My beloved father in law drove up until 89 but he wasn't safe, his doctor told us but refused to tell him. The police picked him up middle of night (when he started develop dementia) driving wrong side of road, guess what they took him home still wouldn't get involved stop him driving. We had to do that and he was furious but I could not risk some one getting killed.

Since a poor girl was killed near us in Colchester by elderly driver who mounted pavement and had had accident day before they bought I Cassies law giving police power to stop someone driving who is suspect. Thank goodness !

I understand, Jane10 - I just had a vision of the GP snatching the car keys out of your mum's hand while shouting 'that's it!'

The GP didn't keep my Mum's keys but gave them to my sister who had accompanied her. It was a sort of symbolic gesture.

Loopylou, I don`t think he`d do that, he`s never been to a driving instructor, ever. He learned to drive in the 70s by having qualified drivers go out with him, so don`t think he`d go for that at all, wish he would.

The Institute of Advanced Motorists offers a 'Mature Drivers Assessment', a 60 minute drive around your local area in your car. The driver is then given a written assessment of their driving and recommendations about whether they are an excellent/competent driver, need to improve - or give up.

It costs £50 and would give the whole family an objective assessment of your father's driving.
Here is the link: www.iam.org.uk/drivers/motorists-courses/driving-assessment/mature-drivers-assesment

I am planning to do it sometime in the next year.

Very difficult one that number, could you suggest he has a 'refresher' session with a driving school as his skills might be 'a bit rusty' after 6 months of not driving?
Perhaps the children could suggest it? It's all very well them telling you to 'make excuses'!

The reason I suggest this is that DH is a driving instructor and says he does a couple every month at least.

Driving skills can get rusty if not practiced. I used to be a world-class parallel parker but when I moved to MK I never had to do it and lost the knack. It's slowly coming back.

Last summer, my husband started driving again for the first time in a year, he`d had 2 major ops and 3 hospital stays in 2013, and hadn`t driven because he didn`t feel able. When he did start again, his driving seemed okay, but when it came to parking, it was a different story. He scraped his and another car one day whilst parking, and after that, following advice from my kids, I didn`t go in the car with him again, kept making up excuses. Then in January he went in hospital again, for a routine operation, but things went wrong and he was in for 10 weeks, 8 of those weeks in ICU. Whilst he was in hospital, he agreed with all of us that he should give up driving and sell the car. He was back in hospital again 3 weeks ago, with a collapsed lung, he was kept in for 2 days, then discharged. The doctor who discharged him said not to fly, or swim. Hubby asked if he could drive, the doctor said he was perfectly able to drive, so now, instead of giving up driving, he`s going to sell the car and get a smaller one, and carry on driving. My problem is, do I trust him enough as a driver to go in the car with him, and go on holiday, which he`s planning on? Sorry for the long ramble!

Yes, I'm sure your mum's GP was right to tell her she was no longer fit to drive, Jane10, I just thought the taking of the car keys was a bit OTT!

When my uncle developed cataracts, either his optician or his GP contacted the DVLA and he was told his licence couldn't be renewed. This was a blow to him, but sadly he died just a few weeks later so it never became an issue. I think a medical adviser has a duty to report such a situation.

Re my Mum and GP. Probably not legal but I suppose he has a duty of care and was genuinely trying to do the right thing. Mum accepted it. If he thought her unsafe to drive then she most likely was! He couldn't knowingly allow her to put herself and other road users at risk.

You all seem to be basically saying the same thing..... Life's a risk but you have to enjoy it as long as possible. I know the side of the family who disagree are thinking that way because they care for him & are afraid he will get hurt & they are trying to protect him. As I drove home this afternoon I saw a young man in a car at a junction who had a mobile phone in one hand and a cigarette in the other whist trying to negotiate a junction in busy traffic, surely the likes of him are more dangerous than an elderly person. Now if DF was trying to text while driving.............

My DF at 88 stopped driving and became very depressed and totally reliant on my DM. She stopped driving at 86 because she couldn't stand him shouting at her and other drivers so they're totally reliant on my sisters and me.
It's difficult but I think it needs to be his decision. Let him enjoy life while he can!

JU1160 your Father is not ancient, he is 80, and I would hope to be still driving at that age and know many people much older than that who drive.

I think Soontobe that you have been very lucky.It's been the case with myself and with DH that other people have run into us, either at the supermarket or at roundabouts/junctions.Not hundreds of times, but every now and then.
I have never heard of a GP having the powers to take away anybody's car keys, the police , yes.

Is a GP allowed to do that?

I think normally in UK you self certificate yourself as fit to drive when your licence comes up for renewal. I think a recent eye test would not be an unreasonable requirement.
But I agree people of all ages have minor bumps and that is no reason to stop driving. I have a relative of that age who still drives all the way to Spain and back!

My Mum was shocked when her GP literally said that's it and took her car keys off her! Maybe you should be discussing the possibility with him so its not such a shock if it happens?

I havent had a bump, minor or otherwise, for the last 23 years rosearered. I think that I have seen other gransnetters say the same.
In my case, though, I do live very rurally.