Getting words wrong

My FIL reported that some neighbours had driven off to Glastonbury in a hired Doberman!

I am pretty sure that I have already mentioned the occasion when I wandered into the kitchen one morning and asked Mr absent, "Do we have any Viagra?".

He blanched and asked why.

"Oh, the usual reason," I replied. "It's not working, it must be blocked. You'll have to take off the shower head and soak it."

A huge sigh of relief followed. "Yes," he said calmly, "There's Viacal in the cupboard under the sink."

My old neighbour used to use Domestless down the loo.

My sisters late MIL once reported that she'd stayed with friends for the weekend and she was going to 'retaliate' - reciprocate we think she meant - by inviting them to stay with her in the near future.
She also liked to go on 'all exclusive' holidays.

Those posts are really funny.
45 years ago, wedding shopping with my mother, while I was trying a dress on I heard her tell the assistant that my bridesmaid wanted a Dutch cap!

My mother frequently asked her hairdresser for a 'blow job' and my aunt (her elder sister) referred to the menopause as the 'monoplus'

Actually I'm still at the memory.

Lol. When we hadn't been here in the UK long, I told a colleague who had invited me for lunch, that I was sorry I had to blow him - found out later after much hilarity in the open plan office that the expression is "blow you off".