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OK, the Idiot has stopped being funny now!

(39 Posts)
kittylester Thu 14-May-15 14:18:50

Apparently, the divorce papers arrived with the Idiot today. I can tell as he has taken to FB to post a less than flattering photo of DD with the comment 'The morning after B (their son) was conceived, in Margate of all places. What a costly s**g that turned out to be!'

I am so cross that I don't quite know what to do! DD is so upset she is watching CBBC under a quilt with the children when she has two cakes that need doing by Saturday am. angry

And, now I'm going to visit mum, so she'd better behave if she knows what's good for her!

Grandma2213 Fri 15-May-15 00:56:04

kittylester I have every sympathy. In our case it was DiL who was posting on FB and though she was canny enough not to mention my DS's name it was obvious who she meant. As for text messages, I have never seen such language! She even used DGS's phone sometimes and he is only 8 years old. I can only hope she deleted them!
Ignore and keep your dignity as loopylou says. Do not sink to his level. You are both better than that! I hope he gets exactly what he deserves in the end. Keep strong.

Judthepud2 Fri 15-May-15 01:10:37

Kitty that sort of thing is SO annoying! But that is why he is doing it. It is vile behaviour but better not to respond which is what he wants.

We have one of those in the background, the biological father of my DGS1. A horrible man who uses social media to continuously and publicly insult and humiliate my DD. complains about not being 'allowed' to see his son but never asks to see him and has never contributed a penny to his upbringing. He is not part of DGS life but uses him to gain sympathy from those who don't know the situation. He is a pathological liar. He acts like this with other people too. Insults and taunts publicly.

He thrives on people responding to his vile posts so we keep an eye on what is said in case there is a need for legal action but we NEVER respond. The only time DD took action was when he posted on FB that anyone seeing her should give her a beating! FB took this down very quickly.

So....I do feel for you and your family coping with your Idiot! angry

FarNorth Fri 15-May-15 07:24:08

Kitty, that FB post shows what a total creep (and other stronger words) he turned out to be. It's not anyone's fault for being taken in by him.
I hope your DD can use it as evidence in some way.

gillybob Fri 15-May-15 07:37:48

Kitty your DD should send him an email/letter (recorded for possible future reference) requesting that he take down the photograph. She should also say that she forbids him to post any photograph of her in the future. If he fails to do so, she can go directly to FB and tell them to take it down.I know someone who has done just that, for lesser reasons than your DD too. I am so glad I am not part of the FB generation where lives are run and sometimes ruined by a few clicks of the keyboard.

kittylester Fri 15-May-15 08:10:52

Good morning! Thank you all for your support and words of advice. I really appreciate all your posts! I knew I could rely on you all to make me feel less like committing murder! flowers

Gillybob, I am glad your friend had a good result through FB. DD reported a much more serious post and were told there was nothing they could do.

Jud that it exactly our experience and why we keep an eye him. Although our Idiot does usually pay up. DD never responds either.

(((Hugs))) for everyone else coping with idiotic ex in laws. The frustration and impotence is really awful. flowers

gillybob Fri 15-May-15 08:27:21

Sorry to hear that kitty I think perhaps they are less responsive to complaints than than the used to be. Perhaps your DD should have a well though out "one liner" that she posts in response to everything the idiot says. I am sure the GNetters could think of a really good line that will shoot him down in flames!

ginny Fri 15-May-15 09:16:00

Kitty I haven't commented on your posts about this awful person ( can't call him a man) before. DD1 had similar instances with our ex SIL.

I have to say that he does see DGS regularly and after trying to pay as little as possible and lying about his income he now pays regularly.

He used to send vile texts and e-mails to DD all of which are still on file and will still now after 4 years try to wind her up and worry her. She has learned now that he is all hot air and communicates as little as possible and only in connection to their son.

The ex has remarried but it seems he still wants to be part of DDs life and the only way he can do this is by trying to disrupt her when he can.

Sad really as DD is now very happy with a lovely chap who is great friends with DGS. From his behaviour I can only summise that Ex. is not really happy and maybe regrets what he lost.

I feel for you.. We know we should ignore the nastiness but that's easier said than done.

whenim64 Fri 15-May-15 09:44:08

Far too many ex-partners behave like this. What happened to dignity and a commitnent to looking after their children's well-being? Son's partner has an ex who doesn't take financial responsibility for his children but delights in buying them unwanted things like dozens of doughnuts, hamsters and skates that don't fit them! He's the one who misses out on being a dad because he's too busy trying to wind mum up. She now refuses to communicate with him except through my son. Why won't they grow up? (Don't answer that......a futile exercise!)

kittylester Fri 15-May-15 10:04:49

DD has a theory that his personality stopped developing when he was 4 when. Apparently, our Idiot (and quite a few of the others!!) seem to fit exactly the definition of narcissism. sad

Lona Fri 15-May-15 10:08:42

Yes! Also some traits of a psychopath too. shock

petallus Fri 15-May-15 11:04:17

I suppose I should be grateful that my ex son-in-law has contented himself with cutting himself off entirely from DD and us.

Unfortunately he has included his 9 year old son in this which is not so good.
I could even say it's heart-breaking.

petallus Fri 15-May-15 11:05:11

Or at least very sad. DGS wonders why his daddy doesn't contact him but says he still loves daddy!

Judthepud2 Fri 15-May-15 14:30:02

Petullus how sad for your DGS! Ours knows of the existence of his biological father but has never known him or shown any interest. He dotes on his 'daddy' though.

Kitty now you mention it, narcissism explains a lot.