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Modern babies

(57 Posts)
apricot Wed 08-Apr-15 20:15:41

Today I met a two months old baby called Pixy, which would be cute for a puppy. Her tiny feet were strapped into plastic sandals.
I wondered what her grandmothers thought about her mother's parenting style. Have any of you had to bite your tongues not to criticise your grandchildren's upbringing?

KatyK Thu 09-Apr-15 17:18:17

Occasionally but we have one grandaughter, she is 14 and she is beautiful, kind, polite and clever! Yes I know I would say that but she is. So they have not gone too far wrong.

rosequartz Thu 09-Apr-15 17:20:34

Well, that was clever, KatyK you posted at 17.18.17 and my clock says 17.15! grin

It is one of those which takes the time from satellite so confused

KatyK Thu 09-Apr-15 17:25:41

How odd rose. Perhaps my granddaughter gets her cleverness from me!

rosequartz Thu 09-Apr-15 17:33:16

You are ahead of me, anyway grin

but then most people are!

rosequartz Thu 09-Apr-15 17:33:42

Just putting the clock in the window to see if it can catch up!

KatyK Thu 09-Apr-15 17:43:16

Hope it can rose!

apricot Thu 09-Apr-15 18:33:18

I've only occasionally felt critical of my DCs' parenting, none of them has done anything outrageous. Mostly I'm filled with pride and admiration at how they manage full-time jobs alongside raising their children.
I too have an autistic grandchild and am saddened by the impact this has on every aspect of life for all of her family but her parents have coped with amazing patience and good sense.

pinkprincess Thu 09-Apr-15 21:55:34

I have five grandchildren all from DS2 and his two marriages. Four girls and one boy.
I learnt to keep my mouth shut very early on, but they were all dressed in conventional baby clothes, no ear piercing or wide headbands with flower attached. They all wore soft boottie like pram shoes called padders until walking.
The only time I cringed was when my grandson was brought home from hospital at two days old wearing tiny denim jeans with matching jacket.
DGS is autistic and DGD3 became addicted to drugs at 15 but now is compleaty off them.DGD1 is a Maths graduate and is now working for a large bank training to be a chartered accountant.
In November I became a great grandmother courtesy of DGD2.She is only 21 but doing a great job, great grandson is a lovely contented little boy and is not dressed over the top.

etheltbags1 Thu 09-Apr-15 22:41:18

my dgd's other grannie dresses like a street walker at the age of almost 60 so goodness what influence she will have on dgd.
DD lets her wear whatever she likes, tried shoes and it hampered her walking so shes only just in proper shoes now at 2+. I dress her in whatever is clean as I did with DD. I got a pair of shorts from a jumble sale and she wore them for months before someone said they were boys !!. DD is even more laid back than I was much to the horror of Ggranny.
I just go along woth whatever Dd and partner say.

FlicketyB Fri 10-Apr-15 16:16:14

etherltbags That is very judgemental. How does a 60 year old street walker dress? As a 70+ woman who likes to feel smart I am feeling worried. And however she dresses why will that mean a negative impact on DGD. I am sure she loves your mutual DGD as much as you and would not do or say anything to lead her astray.

trisher Sat 11-Apr-15 09:49:15

I would have thought most of us have learned by now that children grow up whatever you do, so the strictly brought up toddler becomes the rebellious teenager almost over night and the toddler dressed in multi- coloured, tarty outfits will suddenly only wear black as she gets older. My DGCs are loved and cared for and that's enough for me.

rosequartz Sat 11-Apr-15 11:16:55

I am sure you could never look like a street walker, flickety smile

I do know what ethel means, though! More tarty even than 'mutton dressed as lamb'.
Quite different to 'smart'.
Not everyone wants to see 60 year old boobs hanging out and a vast expanse of thigh - although I grant you that some may like to!

rosequartz Sat 11-Apr-15 11:18:14

And ethel shouldn't worry - just think of Saffy from Ab Fab grin

posie Sat 11-Apr-15 11:45:33

So many modern babies seem to be taken out without sufficient clothes on. Just tiny babies - fashionable but bare legs & arms. confused

FlicketyB Sun 12-Apr-15 06:55:36

Helen Mirren, Carol Vordeman, Felicity Kendal (as mentioned on another thread.

thatbags Sun 12-Apr-15 07:43:59

Your Thursday 22:41 post strikes me as a perfect example of a complete wind up, ethelt.

etheltbags1 Sun 12-Apr-15 09:17:25

thatbags, I was not winding anyone up. the person I was referring to wears high heels or trainers with mini skirts, tight jeans and loads of make up, she buys DGD trashy clothes and lots of rubbish plastic toys. This person drinks a litre of vodka in a weekend and shouts like a banshee when drunk. How is that winding anyone up.
I would have preferred a quiet person who works hard, wears reasonable clothes and lives a simple life, to be the person my DGD looks up to as her other grandma.

Elegran Sun 12-Apr-15 10:13:30

But maybe she is always cheerful and loving to your DGD and doesn't criticise the other grandma (you) although she knows that you resent sharing your grand-daughter with her and run her down? If so, she will win her heart hands down, you can't beat her.

I speak from experience, having had one granny who was always optimistic and one who was always complaining. Even at age 8 I knew it was because of their different life histories, but when she said to me "You like Granny X better than me don't you?" what could a truthful little girl say?

Falconbird Sun 12-Apr-15 10:37:49

Grandmothers are very important in a child's upbringing if they're lucky enough to have them.

Sadly I am now the only grannie, my son's Mil passed away two years ago.

My little Gd has so many little ways that so remind me of her other grannie. It's heart breaking that she's no longer with us.

My son's father-in-law is consumed by grief so I am now the only grandparent really and despite my own bereavement I've had to step up and carry on.

My Gd is 4 now and very interested in what I do and say. So is my Gs and I've tried to help them a lot during the past two years. I only wish the other grannie was here to help out. She was such a wonderful person.

Children watch the adults around them and form their own conclusions (I know I did.)

rosequartz Sun 12-Apr-15 10:54:34

Just make sure she doesn't have sole charge of DGD at the weekend however much 'fun' she might be! After a litre of vodka shock

thatbags Sun 12-Apr-15 11:18:14

I think that saying one would have preferred a different other gran for you grandchild is a very arrogant, judgmental and unkind thing to say.

thatbags Sun 12-Apr-15 11:19:34

Drunkenness aside. Presumably she isn't drunk all the time? What do the child's parents think?

rosequartz Sun 12-Apr-15 11:37:17

Those of you who have wonderful 'other grans' for your DGC count yourselves lucky.
DGDs' other granny is wonderful, but I'd best say nothing about DGS' s other gran (although she doesn't drink and she does adore him).

Elegran Sun 12-Apr-15 13:23:04

And those whose other grans are not perfect - maybe they contribute something else to their grandchildren?

One of my grandmothers taught me (without knowing it) how to let go of my children so that I would keep them, not by example but by observing from an early age the result of not letting go. I loved her as much as the "other" gran, who was much better at personal relationships, but I could see with clear childish eyes her failings, and how she could not help them.

Children are very good at seeing people as they really are, and loving them anyway.

That reminds me of a saying, that we don't love people because of their virtues, we love them despite their faults.

rosequartz Sun 12-Apr-15 17:03:58

Yes, of course, and I am sure she is great fun.
It is the drip feed of insiduous little ideas, undermining of his mother and the encouragement of bad manners that are worrying.