Modern babies

Elegran I like your l3.23 post - very wise and kind.

My "modern baby" 2yr old DGS and mum were staying with me.
We had Dal, spinach, chapatis and sweet potato which he loves.

When I asked him what he was doing with his dinner, he replied "I am putting my sweet potato onto my chuppati because I want to make a wrap."
That was me told!

I am impressed by the range of foodstuffs mums are encouraged to get their babies eating right from the start. No more tastless Heinz baby foods real food to start with. He loves brocolli and garlic bread. I think was in my 20s before I tried that.

I can't remember my maternal GM and paternal lived with one of her daughters and her 2 children (my cousins) were the only ones that mattered. My own DC never knew their paternal GP and my own Mother about whom I have posted before was a possessive and quite critical GM and my DC did not gell at all with her. I, on the other hand,am perfect and adored by all

And the DC would be perfect too, as would their offspring! [halo]

Would that everyone were as perfect as we are, Rosequartz The world would be such a wonderful place! (modest blush )

I know none of us is perfect but the DGDs OG is similar to me, so nearly perfect!!

Yes, of course, and I am sure she is great fun.
It is the drip feed of insiduous little ideas, undermining of his mother and the encouragement of bad manners that are worrying.

And those whose other grans are not perfect - maybe they contribute something else to their grandchildren?

One of my grandmothers taught me (without knowing it) how to let go of my children so that I would keep them, not by example but by observing from an early age the result of not letting go. I loved her as much as the "other" gran, who was much better at personal relationships, but I could see with clear childish eyes her failings, and how she could not help them.

Children are very good at seeing people as they really are, and loving them anyway.

That reminds me of a saying, that we don't love people because of their virtues, we love them despite their faults.

Those of you who have wonderful 'other grans' for your DGC count yourselves lucky.
DGDs' other granny is wonderful, but I'd best say nothing about DGS' s other gran (although she doesn't drink and she does adore him).

Drunkenness aside. Presumably she isn't drunk all the time? What do the child's parents think?

I think that saying one would have preferred a different other gran for you grandchild is a very arrogant, judgmental and unkind thing to say.

Just make sure she doesn't have sole charge of DGD at the weekend however much 'fun' she might be! After a litre of vodka

Grandmothers are very important in a child's upbringing if they're lucky enough to have them.

Sadly I am now the only grannie, my son's Mil passed away two years ago.

My little Gd has so many little ways that so remind me of her other grannie. It's heart breaking that she's no longer with us.

My son's father-in-law is consumed by grief so I am now the only grandparent really and despite my own bereavement I've had to step up and carry on.

My Gd is 4 now and very interested in what I do and say. So is my Gs and I've tried to help them a lot during the past two years. I only wish the other grannie was here to help out. She was such a wonderful person.

Children watch the adults around them and form their own conclusions (I know I did.)

But maybe she is always cheerful and loving to your DGD and doesn't criticise the other grandma (you) although she knows that you resent sharing your grand-daughter with her and run her down? If so, she will win her heart hands down, you can't beat her.

I speak from experience, having had one granny who was always optimistic and one who was always complaining. Even at age 8 I knew it was because of their different life histories, but when she said to me "You like Granny X better than me don't you?" what could a truthful little girl say?

thatbags, I was not winding anyone up. the person I was referring to wears high heels or trainers with mini skirts, tight jeans and loads of make up, she buys DGD trashy clothes and lots of rubbish plastic toys. This person drinks a litre of vodka in a weekend and shouts like a banshee when drunk. How is that winding anyone up.
I would have preferred a quiet person who works hard, wears reasonable clothes and lives a simple life, to be the person my DGD looks up to as her other grandma.

Your Thursday 22:41 post strikes me as a perfect example of a complete wind up, ethelt.

Helen Mirren, Carol Vordeman, Felicity Kendal (as mentioned on another thread.

So many modern babies seem to be taken out without sufficient clothes on. Just tiny babies - fashionable but bare legs & arms.

And ethel shouldn't worry - just think of Saffy from Ab Fab

I am sure you could never look like a street walker, flickety

I do know what ethel means, though! More tarty even than 'mutton dressed as lamb'.
Quite different to 'smart'.
Not everyone wants to see 60 year old boobs hanging out and a vast expanse of thigh - although I grant you that some may like to!

I would have thought most of us have learned by now that children grow up whatever you do, so the strictly brought up toddler becomes the rebellious teenager almost over night and the toddler dressed in multi- coloured, tarty outfits will suddenly only wear black as she gets older. My DGCs are loved and cared for and that's enough for me.

etherltbags That is very judgemental. How does a 60 year old street walker dress? As a 70+ woman who likes to feel smart I am feeling worried. And however she dresses why will that mean a negative impact on DGD. I am sure she loves your mutual DGD as much as you and would not do or say anything to lead her astray.

my dgd's other grannie dresses like a street walker at the age of almost 60 so goodness what influence she will have on dgd.
DD lets her wear whatever she likes, tried shoes and it hampered her walking so shes only just in proper shoes now at 2+. I dress her in whatever is clean as I did with DD. I got a pair of shorts from a jumble sale and she wore them for months before someone said they were boys !!. DD is even more laid back than I was much to the horror of Ggranny.
I just go along woth whatever Dd and partner say.

I have five grandchildren all from DS2 and his two marriages. Four girls and one boy.
I learnt to keep my mouth shut very early on, but they were all dressed in conventional baby clothes, no ear piercing or wide headbands with flower attached. They all wore soft boottie like pram shoes called padders until walking.
The only time I cringed was when my grandson was brought home from hospital at two days old wearing tiny denim jeans with matching jacket.
DGS is autistic and DGD3 became addicted to drugs at 15 but now is compleaty off them.DGD1 is a Maths graduate and is now working for a large bank training to be a chartered accountant.
In November I became a great grandmother courtesy of DGD2.She is only 21 but doing a great job, great grandson is a lovely contented little boy and is not dressed over the top.

I've only occasionally felt critical of my DCs' parenting, none of them has done anything outrageous. Mostly I'm filled with pride and admiration at how they manage full-time jobs alongside raising their children.
I too have an autistic grandchild and am saddened by the impact this has on every aspect of life for all of her family but her parents have coped with amazing patience and good sense.