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Mother's Day and new extended families!

(81 Posts)
Grannyknot Wed 11-Mar-15 09:24:27

It's a funny old world, just when you think you can finally relax in your groove for all time, another curve ball comes your way.

I don't give a hoot about Mother's Day - to me every day is "family day"! My son's mother-in-law has only daughters and a huge fuss is made of Mother's Day, with expensive gifts. So the pressure is building and his wife is a "first time mother" this year too, I am suddenly feeling the pressure when I see "To Daughter-in-Law on Mother's Day" cards, and both my children think they have neglected me for 30 odd years! Sometimes I think the best Mother's Day gift would be a day when I am left completely in peace! confused smile

How does Mother's Day work in your family?

TwiceAsNice Thu 12-Mar-15 07:16:44

Brought to me not fought to me, why don't I proof read!

Grannyknot Thu 12-Mar-15 07:32:14

lona sorry to read you have that situation in your son's life flowers.

absent I can't for the life of me work out why I should feel insulted at my light-hearted comment about wanting to be left in peace for a day. If we were in the same room, and your words had been spoken, they'd have gone right over my head. Whoosh.

Leticia Thu 12-Mar-15 07:32:37

I am all excited this year as all my sons are coming home and we are going out to lunch!

Lona Thu 12-Mar-15 08:17:00

Leticia that sounds like a good Mother's day to me [ flowers]

Iam64 Thu 12-Mar-15 09:03:19

Middle daughter is joining me on a muddy dog walk, then driving me to a great local pub/restaurant for brunch. Youngest daughter dropped a card off yesterday, along with her puppy for me to look after as she's going away. Interesting as a mother's day gift smile

My mum died 8 years ago, her sight deteriorated over the final years of her life, to the extent that going off to M&S unless one of us was with her, became impossible. She loved a wander around her favourite shop and often chose a gift for special occasions during one of our trips. He absence always hits me again when Mothers Day gifts appear at M&S. I understand why people become irritated by the over commercialisation of any special occasion but we live in 2015, it's part of the way things are and we don't have to let it bother us so much smile

vegasmags Thu 12-Mar-15 09:03:53

I usually get a card from each of my DC, and sometimes flowers or chocolates. As they both live over 200 miles away - in opposite directions - I never actually see them on the day, and so I appreciate their thoughtfulness. I wouldn't be upset if nothing arrived, but I am touched and pleased if they remember.

Tegan Thu 12-Mar-15 09:16:29

Years ago I helped out a friend who needed some waitressing doing on Mothers Day where I waited on all the mums that had been taken out to lunch, only to get home and everyone to ask what was for dinner sad. And another year my ex took the children out for the day and gave me a pot of paint to decorate the bedroom [must point out that I loved decorating back then and it was nice to have a chance to do some without the kids being under my feet]. I'd hate to have a fuss made of me on mothers day, although I did cry a lot one year when I thought my son had forgotten to send me a card. One year, when he was away at uni, he got his dad to bring me a bunch of flowers; I thought that was very sweet. I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to things like this, as I give such an impression of not wanting any fuss and then expect them to se through my bravado confused.

Anya Thu 12-Mar-15 09:54:46

Mothers' Day can be a sad time for some if you've lost a child, be it recently or almost a lifetime ago. I know a few people in this sad position and I that there are some on GN.

flowers to you all x

Falconbird Thu 12-Mar-15 14:41:36

My greatest wish for Mothers' Day would be to see my 3 sons reconciled after a massive falling out two and a half years ago when my DH died.

I will see the 2 who are still friends on the same day, but the youngest son is holding a massive grudge against his two brothers - so sad. They were all good friends until their dad died.

I will keep hoping sad

etheltbags1 Thu 12-Mar-15 15:17:48

I have a thread on a similar subject about fighting in families over days such as mothers day.

absent Fri 13-Mar-15 05:06:16

Jus because a card is chosen with love doesn't prevent it from being tacky. Have you looked at any of the current offerings?

absent Fri 13-Mar-15 05:15:02

grannyknot The "mother as martyr" is a less than complimentary, though often well-deserved description of particularly controlling and debilitating kinds of mothers so I merely speculated that comparisons with early Christian martyrs might not appeal to those who were not unduly concerned about cards, presents, and which mother of which partner got the longest visit etc. Equally, some might find an equivalence of those who died, often excruciatingly painfully for their beliefs, with someone who didn't want a lot of fuss about Mothering Sunday a bit OTT.

Fili Fri 13-Mar-15 05:24:04

Happy holidays! Wish to all mothers only happiness!

seasider Fri 13-Mar-15 07:21:47

Out for breakfast with DP and DS. Then late afternoon, for the first time in years we are going out for lunch. DD usually cooks but she deserves a day off too. I will meet up with DS and all the DGC while DP travels to visit his mum. have asked for no chocolate as given up for lent . I have asked for a fish for my new tank instead!

Falconbird Fri 13-Mar-15 07:30:15

Does anyone buy their daughters or daughters in law a Mothers' Day Card.

I was surprised to hear that you can buy such cards! I will buy flowers for my DILs but I don't have any daughters.

I agree that mothers' day has gone OTT but then so has everything else, especially Christmas.

I often text a friend or two "Happy Mothers' Day" especially the ones from school gate days because we share that bond of being friends when our kids were little smile

Anya Fri 13-Mar-15 09:01:26

We can all take what we want to take from 'days' such as Valentines Day, Mothers' Day even Christmas and Easter. Yes, there is a degree of hype in the shops and advertising on the TV but as we're thinking, intelligent people it's up to us to celebrate these occasions or give them a miss.

I do find it wearing that some people see only the negative though as if we are obliged to buy into all the publicity. I loved the 'tacky' cards the children made at school and presented to me with great pride on Mothering Sunday. I still enjoy the bought cards they give me each year and the occasion for a family get together.

janeainsworth Fri 13-Mar-15 10:30:44

I don't think cards that children have made themselves could be described as tacky.
Tacky to me means false sentimentality - something a child would not understand or be capable of.

Tegan Fri 13-Mar-15 10:42:48

I've still got that cards that my kids made for me, albeit being the ones that they did actually make...some are obviously ones that the teacher has helped them with [not quite the same].

Anya Fri 13-Mar-15 11:23:36

It's not my word JaneA just quoting an earlier post. I don't think that either, they were treasured.

Fili Sat 14-Mar-15 05:07:13

Maybe children are capable of more things that you think)

absent Sat 14-Mar-15 07:06:23

Of course the cards that children and grandchildren make, as well as the poems and messages they write, are delightful and massively special. It's the commercial rubbish with its trite verses – at silly prices moreover – that is tacky.

Anya Sat 14-Mar-15 11:52:35

That's a sweeping generalisation absent

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 14-Mar-15 12:43:08

I can't agree with that absent. There are some lovely cards available. I have had some beautiful ones over the years. I always leave mine out for ages. Seems a shame to put them away.

soontobe Sat 14-Mar-15 14:37:01

I think that a lot of mothers day cards are too sugar sweet.
I always imagine that it is quite difficult to find cards for those mother/daughter relationships that are not all sugar.

rockgran Sat 14-Mar-15 15:14:25

I always make my mother's day or birthday card into a notebook that I use for planning the garden, shopping or similar. That I way I can enjoy it for a lot longer. Just staple in a few sheet of paper and trim.