Let's be spies too

Ditto! Love it,*crun*.

crun !

My DH says he would recommend me for the spy job. He says I don't miss a trick, he can never get away with anything

that's a terrible pun crun

I used to work for After Eight, they sent me undercover conducting espionage in the Polo factory. I was a mint spy.

Poor phoenix, she'll end up walking like the Tin Man in Wizard of Oz!

If phoenix is going to fall over, she could get a lot of documents rolled round her legs under her lisle stockings and the Nora Batty look would disguise them nicely.

The spy couriers came here today, but they wanted the most recent documents to be signed for - where's the secrecy in that, may I ask?

I use the same spy couriers, they deliver to me frequently from a large global organisation whose gadgetry is well disguised purely by the sheer volume of its parcels.

Pssst.....over here......don't look round. I just happened to be peering through my curtains and I think I've uncovered a massive spy ring. I've just seen a furtive looking man sneaking up next door's path. He dropped a suspicious looking parcel into her green wheelie bin and jumped into his van before anyone noticed. A minute later, her next door came out and retrieved said parcel, then walked nonchalantly back into the house. Now I'm on high alert, it's dawned on me that this is going on all over the place. I might just infiltrate this spy ring - the van had some lettering on it - R.M. (Russian Moles?)

The Greggs pie are a mastertouch.

As all children know, we grannies have eyes in the back of our heads and my specs can be adjusted so I can have 360° vision. Also, my hound dog will be useful for tracking scents as long as it's a foreign spy with a meat pie so I think I would be a valuable MI5 recruit. I have a message for Red Cow:

'The Greggs chicken and mushroom pies have just come out of the oven!' Please commit this to memory and destroy the evidence. You know what you have to do

There might be a danger of phoenix tottering and falling over if she isn't used to being well endowed voluptuous janer, which might mean giving the game away.
Also she might need a self-righting bra /knickers to pop her back upright, a bit like lifeboats have?

Yup, there's definitely a niche in the market that needs filling. The available kits need a bit more finesse, I think. Crocheted covers rather than black plastic, for a start.

I think phoenix underestimates herself, as with an empty large bra she could stash away so much more. You could have a complete survival kit in one, and an assassin's one in the other. Someone somewhere must make an assassin's kit. <googles> If not - Dragon's Den could be the next stop for GN!

JaneR.....am creased with laughter!!!

If I were Spymaster General I wouldn't hesitate to recruit the lot of you!
Formidable Grannys Army present arms!
Perps and suspects should be quaking in their shoes, no match for GNs Brigade (or should it be a Platoon, or a Battalion- no idea what the difference is !

Brilliant! That would scare them to death. And probably suffocate them if that didn't work.

What about a quick release lace on your corset, janerowena? You could reach down as if you were absentmindedly having a good scratch, yank it out, and bingo!

Oh yes, I would love a pair of those too! I was also thinking that there must be a way in which a garrotte could be fashioned into a pretty brooch or necklace. Maybe a necklace would be better. Whip it off my neck and straight onto someone else's.

Purely in self-defense, of course!

if you find where they keep your lipstick, janerowena, could you please look around and see if they have Rosa Klebb shoes with the blades in the front that you can get to pop in and out? I would love a pair to do the tyres of the car which parks over the dropped kerb in a street near here. I need to use the dropped kerb to get my shopping trolley with the rest of my equipment up and down, and as there is plenty of parking space in that street, it annoys me unduly. How are we supposed to stagger zoom about gathering information if we have to spend an hour and a half getting on and off the pavement?

Who put trench coats into the charity shop?? We need them back.

Is there a free travel pass with the job? I wouid find that terribly useful.

'Allo, 'allo.....Night'awk calling .....'

I always wanted one of those lipsticks that was really a teeny gun. Many, many times.

Got the dagger at last, so I've put my hair up in a bun to hide it. Hope I remember where I've put it...