The Going Rate

small gifts ...that should read

Good ideaJ52 a lovely "diamond* white rose for mum n dad would be lovely if appropriate. I like the popular idea of 40 small in a box for your DD. Especially if you start buying them now.

Bikergran: do some of the people you have to buy gifts for have gardens?
Garden Plants can be very economical gifts, as they can be bought for a variety of prices, which do not reflect the lasting value.
Rose bushes or fruit trees perhaps. Just a thought. x

I'm struggling with gifts this year (financialy) so will watch this thread with interest

It was my mums 80th last week (I made a birthday afternoon tea for all, and bought her and "myself" a" thermal Spa experience voucher" well she cant go on her own can she!

Mothers day in March

would have been dh 80th a few days later so we are going to celebrate that somehow.(not sure how as still raw)

It is my mum and dad's "Diamond" wedding anniversary in April.

My 60th in October

My daughters 40th in November

looks like I am going to have to stand on the street corners again! and shake my tin, tut

Personally, I would politely decline the invitation.

I would be more than willing to somehow find out what they would appreciate as a thoughtful gift but I would not be willing to pay for their holiday. Something which, to me, sours the invitation.

I recently bought gift vouchers for a friends DD's wedding as requested. They had been together 8yrs and have two children. I gave £40, the only thing is with cash or vouchers people know exactly what you've spent I'm guilty of spending a little more than I might so as not to appear mean.

Of course a couple married for 50 years have no need of gifts. I wish something like this had been acceptable when we married, almost 50 years ago. People bought what they thought we would like, so we mended up with several ugly coffee sets, numerous mismatching casserole dishes, etc. we were not ungrateful because in those days you took what was going with a smile and a thank you letter.

How much more sensible to contribute to a honeymoon, as happens these days, or to a safari trip.

crun anywhere from £25-£50 depending on your circumstances.

We always send a cheque to a charity when "no presents " is requested and it has always gone down well. I would hope that a couple of that age would not arrange an expensive holiday without the funds to do so.

Great idea Nelliemoser, though it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea. Several years ago, during discussions about what family members wanted to Christmas, her mother in law said "and I don't want a goat, just the sort of thing you'd give someone for Christmas".

Send a donation to a water aid charity in the sort of country they are going to and send them a card showing what you have done.

As the tourists will no doubt have access to a lot better water supplies than the local people, this will be an attempt to put something back into that or a very similar community.

There are a lot of such charities working on this and the Oxfam gift cards do Water aid donation cards. Which means that the money goes to that specific purpose in one way or another

www.wateraid.org/uk/where-we-work

https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=oxfam+wateraid

I did a double take too. But I presume the trip is a golden wedding trip, in which case I thought it was rather nice.
From a giving point of view, £20 on a vase, or £20 towards a trip is still giving £20. I think that it is rather sweet.

I used to not particularly like the asking for money towards a honeymoon. Probably still dont. But nowadays, most people have already got the household stuff.
My daughter got married recently. They didnt ask for money or gift vouchers, and didnt have household stuff beforehand. But about half of the guests chose to give money. All fine.

It hasn't been part of our culture to give/request cash gifts but that has been changing. I don't think it's "cheeky " for younger people to ask for money when they marry and I don't see it being to finance dream trips/honeymoons really. Most young couples have been living together for a while before marrying so they have the toasters/glasses/cutlery etc that most of us would have needed as young married people.

No presents, but suggests cash towards their safari?

I must be missing something here - in all my days have never been asked to contribute to such a trip!

I've heard of cheeky younger people asking for money to finance their various dream trips/honeymoons but am surprised that an older couple would do this.

But they did say no presesnts, so I think it would be acceptable to give £20/£30. Depends whether it is friends, close friends, auntie/uncle or parents, and what people can comfortably afford, and wish to give!

I would probably give £50 as it is 50 years.
No more than that would be expected in this area.

It depends how close you are to the person inviting? How much do lions charge for a viewing? They could go to Knowsley Safari Park for £40 all in for a full car.

How many are going to the party? How long have you known them?

I score taxi drivers on a point system for tipping. If they talk to me then that is 1 point, if they don't use their phone 1 point, polite 1 point, not sleazy 1 point, so maybe you could use the same sort of system. Then decide how much to give.

Or get a coin that was made 50 years ago (ebay do them) and give this as a present and then add some extra cash too for the safari. I did this for a friend's 50th birthday as she wanted money to go over the grand canyon but I wanted to give her something to remember her day by.

I would probably gift £30/40 if it were a family member or friend.. but everyone should only give what they can afford some will be more and some less..